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Turning to God for Comfort When You’re Ghosted
February 14, 2022
by Sarah Geringer
“What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.” Psalm 55:14 (NLT)
I remember getting “ghosted” by a friend before ghosting was a widespread cultural phenomenon. According to Merriam-Webster, ghosting is “the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone usually without explanation.”
With every remembrance of the friend who cut me off, pain stabbed me in the heart over and over. We had shared meals, clothes, living spaces, holidays and faith. We had traveled across the country to visit one another. This wasn’t just any friendship it was one of my best ones ever. Then suddenly, without a known cause, my emails were not returned. My friend enacted a nuclear Facebook reboot, erasing all traces of the past, including our ties. I didn’t know what to say or do. My emotions pulled me in so many directions fear, sadness, desperation, anger, confusion and indignance. But my deepest hurt stemmed from abject rejection. Then as I turned to my Bible for comfort one day, the words in Psalm 55 jumped off the page. I learned I wasn’t alone in getting ghosted by a close friend. David had also experienced this when a good friend turned against him. David’s trust was shattered when his friend felt more like an enemy. He wrestled with the new truth of his friend’s betrayal. Perhaps the most painful part was the fact they had shared a bond of faith. David wistfully reminisced in Psalm 55:14: “What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.”
But David didn’t stay stuck in his pain of getting rejected. Instead, he poured out his pain in prayer, trusting that God cared about his feelings. In Psalm 55, we can find a plan for how to deal with getting ghosted. Let’s look at David’s account to see what we can do with our own pain.
* Go to God in prayer. David started his psalm with a request for God to listen. (Psalm 55:1-2) Going to God first will tether us to Him more than to our hurt.
* Admit you feel overwhelmed. In Psalm 55:2, David said his heart was “overwhelmed” with his problems. Being ghosted produces a flood of feelings, yet God is our ever-present anchor.
* Pour out all your feelings. David shared his unedited thoughts with God, though they were painful and strong. (Psalm 55:3-11) God is ready to handle the hot mess of our feelings when we get ghosted.
* Reflect on your relationship. David talked to God about memories with his friend and recounted hurts related to the rejection, sharing both the good and the bad. (Psalm 55:12-14, 20-21) God wants to hear the full story of our rejection.
* Give your burdens to God. After this painful outpouring, David surrendered all his feelings to God. He trusted God to hear him, care for him, protect him and rescue him. (Psalm 55:16-19, 22-23) We can trust God to do the same for us.
You may not be able to prevent getting ghosted or betrayed, but you can turn to God for comfort and help, like David did, if you face this situation. And friend, even more importantly God wants you to turn to Him. Our good God is waiting for us to reach out for His divine comfort. Let’s take Him up on that today.
Forgotten Mother:
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/04/19/the-peace-i-need?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=209872135&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9R9FAbbqhCxRqUPFVcw1Zm1ki62SMczsGbHwpCkTH9r6da8Vcy1vbEmk7jyvJ796A1yNFYzMmIhsGA4_qVG0KNj1Lqww&utm_content=209872135&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread
The Peace I Need
April 19, 2022
by Lynn Cowell
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
All three of my kids are marrying in the first six months of 2022. This year. Yes, you read that correctly. I don’t have to tell you that these weddings, in addition to the demands of work projects and normal, everyday life, are a lot! And while my family is blessed to have our stress be mostly positive stress, it is stress all the same. In the past, control has been my go-to relief for anxiousness in times like these. But this time, I am looking to God’s Word for the help I need. One morning recently, I read my Bible, figuratively sitting with the Apostle Paul. He spoke to me about how to thrive in this beautiful season. It’s like he was there, coffee in hand, sitting on the couch across from me, saying: “Listen, Lynn. ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus’” (Philippians 4:6-7).
I could hear the Lord, through Paul’s words, telling me not to fret or worry. He challenged me that, each time my mind went to another detail that needed to be taken care of, I should pray first. Let God know (as if He doesn’t already) that I need His help for it all to come together. Paul’s Holy Spirit-inspired guidance helped me to settle down my spirit and know that, as I reach for Jesus instead of control, He will help me to receive His peace, which I so desperately need. Paul has every right to tell you and me how to do this. He lived it. His experiences were not joyous, like weddings where I will gain new family members, or exciting work projects where I can use my talents. No, he experienced prison, shipwrecks, snake bites and stoning. (2 Corinthians 11:23-27) We can trust Paul when he says we can let God know our concerns while praising Him at the same time. Paul says that when we choose to pray and praise instead of worrying, “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard [our] hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7, ESV).
So I’ll pray with gratitude on my lips and take the peace Jesus gives as I trust Him to work out every little detail. As I do, I am seeing this practice of prayer not as a one-time or one- ay thing but an every-time, everyday thing: I am choosing each day to walk with Him, whatever each day holds.
Forgotten Mother:
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/04/20/why-my-heart-makes-a-poor-window?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=209872460&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8sV2yTetZPVVqRE5uFEuBd93wCn-HgPdd6T6CT4GEqigQ4BQ9jydscXBxZU0f0UdX9evmteZRUT8Wv_wz8k0880j-sOA&utm_content=209872460&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread
Why My Heart Makes a Poor Window
April 20, 2022
by Alicia Bruxvoort
“Nothing is perfect except your words.” Psalm 119:96 (TLB)
There was snow outside, but the forecast in first grade was balmy. It was “beach day” at the elementary school a day for singing songs about sunshine and creating art projects with seashells, for eating snacks on beach towels and doing science experiments with sprinkles of sand. And my youngest daughter was dressed for the occasion. She donned a tropical sundress and a wide-brimmed hat, bright orange flip-flops and a sand-dollar necklace. Finally, with a happy squeal, she placed her beloved pink sunglasses on the bridge of her nose and headed to the minivan where her siblings waited. As my beach girl climbed into the back seat, she peered at her siblings through her rosy sunglasses and pointed to each one. "You look mad. And you look mad. And you look mad, too!”
Giggles erupted, and I posed this question: “What makes you think everybody’s mad today?”
“Their faces are red!” my first grader replied. I glanced at the kids behind me, but I didn’t spy ruddy cheeks or flushed foreheads, pink streaks of embarrassment or crimson gleams of anger. I merely saw the profiles of my clear-skinned children. As I was about to correct my little girl, she removed her sunglasses. With wide-eyed chagrin, she stared at her siblings once more. As she realized those cheap reflective lenses had cast a reddish glow over everything, her lips spread into a contrite smile. “You don’t look mad anymore!” she admitted. “I guess my glasses tricked me.”
Those shimmery shades may have functioned as a fine accessory, but they served as a poor window to the world. It’s easy to laugh about my daughter’s beach-day blunder, but I’ve suffered from unreliable optics, too. In fact, when it comes to my spiritual sight, I don’t need a pair of cheap sunglasses to distort my vision. My own heart can swiftly skew my view of God’s. If I look at God through the lens of my feelings or the scope of my circumstances, I may see Him as careless or capricious. If I look at God through the monocle of my doubt or the spyglass of my discouragement, I may regard Him as unwilling or unable. If I look at God through the pane of my pride or the peephole of my fear, I may perceive Him as angry or aloof, faithless or fickle. And sadly, the more I peer through my own murky lens, the more my view of His goodness grows dim. The humbling truth is this: My finite perspective makes a poor window for an infinite God. Thankfully, there’s a fix for my flawed sight (and for yours). In Psalm 119:96, King David points us to a window that will never warp “Nothing is perfect except your words.”
This succinct sentence reminds us that the Bible isn’t just a string of stories or a collection of rules; it’s the only way to gain a foolproof view of God’s heart on this side of heaven. The Bible doesn’t just instruct our hearts; it refines our vision. Scripture reveals where the eyes of our hearts (Ephesians 1:18) have been tricked by our feelings or deceived by our worries, clouded by concerns or deluded by disappointment. (Hebrews 4:12) When we engage with God’s Word, our outlook shifts. Like a little beach girl I once knew, we begin to humbly identify those places where our sight has been skewed. Suddenly we see that; Our unmet expectations portrayed God as unkind, but His Word reveals He is endlessly compassionate. (1 Peter 5:7; Exodus 34:6) Our pain painted God as distant, but His Word promises He is forever near. (Matthew 28:20) Our unanswered prayers made God seem inattentive, but His Word confirms He is always listening. (John 11:42) This is how we improve our spiritual vision, friends! We open our Bibles and invite the Holy Spirit to help us trade our unreliable optics for unchanging Truth. As we do, we often come face to face with God’s goodness and we can’t help but marvel at the view.
Forgotten Mother:
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/05/13/remembering-gods-goodness-so-you-dont-have-to-be-afraid?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=211921428&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_FAztAZyqZSkIALP1lPnPJ1pI16F9yK3wHRtEkPRISwjJhY8tYmSGtG2ivescEy2iFDEpwMqNckNKQvUxERLNJWn29QA&utm_content=211921428&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread
Remembering God’s Goodness so You Don’t Have To Be Afraid
May 13, 2022
by Jamie C. Finn
“For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’” Isaiah 41:13 (ESV)
My fingers shook as I dialed my husband’s number. “Hello?”
“They removed him again.” I jumped right in. “They removed him, and they’re going to bring him to some strangers’ house, and strangers are going to adopt him, and we’re never, ever going to see him again. And I am not OK!”
If you pictured me walking around my kitchen in circles, crying and gasping for breath between each word, you would be right. My husband’s response, through his own pained realization that our beloved former foster son may be placed somewhere else, was this: “Jamie, God is good. And everything He does is good.”
Hanging up, I repeated it like a mantra as I continued to walk around my kitchen in circles. God, You are good, and everything You do is good. God, You are good, and everything You do is good. God, You are good. I fall into fear when I define who God is by what I see, rather than defining what I see by who God is. And who is He?
God is omnipresent, everywhere all the time. God is omniscient, knowing everything from every time. God is omnipotent, having all the power ever needed for anything. God is sovereign, perfectly in control of every person and place and thing. God is immutable, never changing, because He is perfect and will never get any more perfect or any less perfect. God is eternal, existing from forever past to forever future. God is holy, perfect and pure, separate and unlike His creation. God is wise. God is righteous. God is good. God is merciful. God is love. These are real truths about the real God who is involved in every part of our lives. They’re not platitudes or plaque quotes. They are the most determining factors of our fates, the most decisive forces in our lives and the lives of those we love. And they are the reason we can trust in Him. So in the midst of fear, I can speak with confidence in who He is: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3, ESV).
Throughout Scripture, when God’s people are told not to be afraid, they’re told something else along with it. Some important truth, beautiful promise or big-picture reality of God’s character:
“… Fear not … I am your shield …” (Genesis 15:1, ESV)
“Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you …” (Genesis 26:24b, ESV)
“… Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today.” (Exodus 14:13a, ESV)
“You shall not fear them, for it is the LORD your God who fights for you.” (Deuteronomy 3:22, ESV)
“… Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” (Isaiah 41:13, ESV)
“… Fear not, for I have redeemed you …” (Isaiah 43:1, ESV)
It’s not just that we shouldn’t be afraid. It’s that we don’t have to be afraid. Fear is a sort of forgetting, a focusing on the “what” instead of the “who.” An amnesia of just how good God is and always has been and promises always to be. We look at God with worried accusation: But how can I know You’ll do it again?
If fear is forgetting, then the antidote to fear is remembering. Remembering the faithfulness of God, the character of God and the promises of God.
Forgotten Mother:
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/06/09/surrendering-isnt-the-same-as-giving-up?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=215353260&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_xXZBKHw4f0c5NULApe_unyBqleHifhDzP-zKi_E_rWMOxAhn0_SIue-sIpy9KgWKbYs8thKyEJO4qgjhWgWMM88rhoQ&utm_content=215353260&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread
Surrendering Isn’t the Same as Giving Up
June 9, 2022
by Megan Evans, COMPEL Training Member
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV)
With no solution to my problem in sight, I uttered the frustrated phrase “I give up!”
Cradling my head in my hands, I sank into a chair at my kitchen table. Resting there on my elbows, I declared defeat. I didn’t really want to quit, but it seemed my options had run out. I’m not sure how many times in my life I’ve said “I give up,” but it’s been plenty.
I’m guessing you’ve said it, too. Still, one thing is certain for every follower of Christ: Just because we feel defeated doesn’t mean we are left for dead. Quite the opposite! From the depths of our heart, a little signal pings and fires a rescue flare called hope. That’s the difference between us and the world. Our hope is never lost. In my kitchen that day, hope began to bubble to the surface. Instead of giving up, I found my lips praying a different set of words: Jesus, I surrender. Nobody likes to raise a white flag. We’ve been taught that more is better, and failure is not an option. The world tells us, “You can do it all!” In reality, we can’t, nor do we need to. But we try. We overextend our time, overextend our abilities and overextend our resources. Yet all of this overreaching just leaves us gripping the end of our rope. I’ve learned that in these moments swelling with frustration, we have a choice. We can choose to sit with the enemy in defeat or surrender to the Lord in victory. As we surrender to the Lord, our giving up is replaced by His lifting up, as our key verse says: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).
As we raise our white flag and cry out to Jesus, He rescues us from the depths. When we humble ourselves before the Lord, we begin to see His mighty hand at work. While we rest safely under God’s care, He will lift us up in due time and His timing is always perfect. Surrendering isn’t the same thing as giving up not when God is involved. Submitting to God means humbly placing ourselves at His feet. Then we give up our desire for control and our pride. Under the care of God’s mighty hand, we release the need to know when, why and how. Faith finds us resting in His power, peace and provision. This different surrender is a dying of self, and in it we begin to walk in fresh, new life with Christ. Are details of this day causing your head to droop?
Help is on the way. Hope is bubbling to the surface even now. When we find ourselves at the end of our rope, let’s instead cast our anxiety on the Lord. Nestle under the protection of God’s mighty hand because He cares for you. Rest there. Don’t give up in defeat today; surrender to the Lord.
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