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The Last Time I Talked To A Pastor

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Forgotten Mother:
https://medium.com/deconstructing-christianity/the-last-time-i-talked-to-a-pastor-3036d3da30bd

The Last Time I Talked To A Pastor
Gina Miller.
Deconstructing Christianity
Aug 28

When I was disinherited, I was not suprized, but it was still difficult to see it in writing, and deal with all the hate again. It was a final slap in the face from the man who was supposed to love me. I needed therapy, but my insurance did not cover mental health.  I was playing organ for a Presbyterian church. I decided to talk to one of the two pastors. We are rural and pastors have several churches to cover. I decided to talk to the second one, because I knew the first one had a relinquished relative and had said they were adamant about non-contact with the relinquished relative. I disapproved strongly with this attitude. It is never the fault of the adoptee they are relinquished, and they have every right to know their information.  These are the points she made to me in the so-called counselling session.

    Abuse happens in biological families.
    You should be grateful
    Even if there was abuse they did put a roof over your head and food in your mouth. What about all the children who do not have these necessities of life, especially in countries like Africa [sic]
    What would happen to all the unwanted babies without adoption? Would they just rot in orphanages or die?
    You could have been aborted
    Most adoptions are beautiful.
    You just had a bad experience.
    My neighbor has an adopted son and he turned out fine. He is so grateful she adopted him.
    You are just angry.
    You need to forgive the people who adopted you. She called them my parents. I don’t call them that.

She then offered to pray for me that I would learn to forgive and to be positive and grateful for my blessings instead of focusing on my past and being so angry.  It was the last time I ever spoke to a religious person about adoption. I had learned better. I had shut down a Methodist minister once when he was doing the horrible adopted into the family of god sermon. When he was asking what adoption meant, everyone in the congregation was saying things like love and joy. I raised my hand and said “disposable.” I derailed his sermon.  Adoptees are four times more likely to attempt suicide, and eight times more likely to be abused than people living with biological caregivers, and also eight times more likely to abuse substances and be incarcerated. Statistics are from a 2013 study by American Academy of Pediatrics.

    ELECTRONIC ARTICLE| AUGUST 01 2001

    Adoption as a Risk Factor for Attempted Suicide During Adolescence

    Gail Slap, MD;

    Elizabeth Goodman, MD;

    Bin Huang, MS

    https://www.publications.aap.org

However, religious leaders are unconcerned. With declining church membership, offerings are also down, so financing must go on. Adoption is a way to continue financing churches. Many agencies are faith based, and fees can be between 50 thousand to 130 thousand for a white, womb-wet infant. This exchanging of money for an infant is trafficking. It is selling babies. It is not about providing homes for a child in need, it is providing a commodity to someone who can pay.  Sell a baby and praise the lawd! We just paid this months mortgage!

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