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https://www.theguardian.com/film/article/2024/aug/09/sugarcane-review-residential-schools?CMP=share_btn_url&fbclid=IwY2xjawE_0oBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHSBtSVu2XhDvbd9tw5J5IENwl_u0u-_aFdMnPvLFOZ-AGKj3-IdY3lj5Rg_aem_3OpcuQax8t7caZ-buY6CCw

‘Designed to tear families apart’: a shocking film exposes abuse and infanticide

Devastating documentary Sugarcane reveals horrifying stories from controversial Indigenous residential schools

Residential schools for Indigenous children have been a stain on the histories of both the United States and Canada, and although steps have been taken in making amends with the past, the new documentary Sugarcane reveals just how much of the process still remains incomplete.  These schools operated throughout the 19th and 20th centuries, with Canada’s last residential school only closing in 1997, and they have been referred to as sites of attempted cultural genocide against Indigenous people. For many children, attendance at these schools was compulsory, forcing them to travel far away from their homes, where they were systematically separated from their language and culture and suffered various forms of abuse. Attendance at these schools has been linked to serious mental health consequences, including elevated rates of depression, substance use and suicide.  New light was recently shed on the level of atrocities that occurred at residential schools when in 2021 it was revealed that potential unmarked graves had been discovered on the site where the former Kamloops Indian residential school once stood. It was this news that spearheaded the creation of the documentary Sugarcane, which investigates the residential school St Joseph’s Mission.  The revelations of Sugarcane are many, but perhaps the most shocking one is the evidence that the film-makers bring forth that infanticide was practiced at this school, where the bodies of children of women abused by Catholic priests were incinerated on school grounds. As it turns out, this horrific discovery has serious implications for co-director Julian Brave NoiseCat, whose father, Archie, may have been the only survivor of these events. Julian makes the courageous decision to place himself into the movie, and we see father and son slowly work through years of estrangement and decades of history to learn the facts about how Archie came into this world.  NoiseCat’s is possibly the most compelling of the four entwined narratives that the movie follows, which include Chief Rick Gilbert, who travels to the Vatican seeking redress for the church’s actions, investigator Charlene Belleau, who painstakingly pieces together exactly what happened at the school, and Chief Willie Sellars, who has organized and led the inquiry into the school’s history.  Although the residential schools have had an immense impact on NoiseCat’s family, he shared with me in a video interview that for much of his life he knew virtually nothing about his grandmother’s experiences there as a young girl. During summers visiting with her, she would offer the strange story of how she and her fellow female students would say to one another “the black bear is coming” whenever they saw one of the school’s priests or nuns. “All I got from my grandmother was this very cryptic accounting of her experience at the residential school,” NoiseCat told me, “where she said that the people who were supposed to be looking out for us were predators.”

NoiseCat’s story about his grandmother indicates the larger silence surrounding these schools, even within the Indigenous community, and this is one of the reasons why this documentary is so important. According to NoiseCat, Sugarcane contradicts the popular view among many in the media that residential schools are well-known and thoroughly discussed within the Indigenous communities. “Every time I heard this,” he told me, “I thought, ‘This doesn’t ring true to my experience.’”

Indeed, when NoiseCat and his co-director, Emily Kassie, attempt to discuss the schools within the community, they are largely met with silence. As the film explores, part of the trauma faced by Indigenous people is that the things they suffered at the schools left them speechless, without a language to discuss the events, or people with whom they could share their experiences. One of the keys to processing and overcoming this past is to learn to talk about it, and for those who suffered to tell the story in their own terms. Both in terms of constructing this narrative, and in encouraging others to do so, Sugarcane is a powerful intervention for the health of the community.  One of the strengths of Sugarcane is how NoiseCat and and Kassie let this reality make its presence felt throughout their documentary. The movie plunges viewers right into the heart of the story, preferring the texture of the lived experience of the Indigenous people over a more straightforward accounting of exactly what happened. “Jules and I talked a lot about what the silences meant, and also reflecting the pacing of this world,” Kassie told me. “This is really what the world feels like, and it was very important to us that it felt representative of what we were seeing and feeling.”

Because of these choices, Sugarcane is a movie that moves at a very deliberate pace. This may challenge some viewers accustomed to punchier rhythms, although this choice gives space to the silences that continue to permeate the community, and it makes the few words that do eventually escape feel hard-earned and substantial. “We didn’t want to tell a story from 10ft away,” Kassie said. “We wanted to tell it from people living it.”

This makes Sugarcane extremely effective at reflecting the larger challenges still faced by the Indigenous community as it begins the long, difficult work of confronting its trauma by piecing together the story and speaking about what happened at residential schools.  As the film also makes clear, this is very much an ongoing story. When Gilbert heads to the Vatican to have an audience with a bishop, he does receive an apology but responds that this is not enough: noting that the Bible says that apologies are only the first step in righting a wrong, he tells the bishop: “There have been apologies, but nothing has happened.”

This nothing is a significant part of the systematic failure that traumatized the attendees of the residential schools. Sugarcane notes how attempts were made at the time to report that children were being abused at the schools, but these reports fell on deaf ears. The attempted infanticide of NoiseCat’s father was reported to the police but nothing ever happened. “This was reported to the police, along with records of other victims,” Kassie said, “like finding a body of a baby in a shoe box, and other accounts of babies being taken and forced into adoptions. Nothing was done to follow up on these crimes.”

In fact, as Sugarcane reports, the only person to face any criminal liability was the baby’s mother, who was sentenced to a year in jail for neglect of her child.  It is too late for many of the Catholic priests who abused children in the residential school system to be held accountable, but simply sharing the truth of what happened can still have a powerful healing effect. NoiseCat has discussed how screenings of the film often end with audience members experiencing catharsis, and the film documents how the process of being involved with this project has helped many process and overcome their trauma.  “This film is also about the resilience and the love of the community and the families that you see here,” said NoiseCat. “They have endured in spite of how these schools were designed to tear families apart.”

*  Sugarcane is out in US cinemas now and in the UK on 20 September
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13777913/ITV-Long-Lost-Family-brings-three-siblings-adopted-strangers-sixties.html

'I knew there was something missing from my life': The incredible story of three siblings who met for the first time in their sixties after being given away for adoption to three different families

     Episode six of Long Lost Family airs on ITV1 and ITVX tonight at 9pm

By Emma Pryer

Published: 16:55, 25 August 2024 | Updated: 08:44, 26 August 2024

When Mary Arbuthnot opened a letter from her dying father, Richard, more than 20 years ago, she had no idea it would change the course of her life.  The sealed, brown envelope with 'Mary' on the front contained some paperwork and a note, reading: 'Alright Queen. If you want to find out any info, here are the numbers. Love always, Mum and Dad.'

One of the phone numbers her father had provided was for a Liverpool adoption agency a call to them began what turned out to be a long quest to find her birth family.  The agency's records revealed that Mary's birth mother was an unmarried Irish woman called Rita O'Reilly, who had been living in London but for some reason travelled to Liverpool for Mary's birth in 1965 and that Rita had also given birth to two other children, a girl born in 1960 and a boy born in 1962.  Mary, from West Derby, a suburb of Liverpool, was stunned.  'I'd known since I was seven that I was adopted as a ten week-old baby, but I'd had such a great childhood with my brother, who was also adopted, that I never thought any more of it.'

So happy was she, that she had often yearned for other siblings. Now she was left overwhelmed by the news she actually had two she'd never met.  Named Bridget and George, they were born in London. And, like her, they had been adopted, each to a different family. Unusually, they shared the same father, an Irishman called Jim Melody.  'I was so shocked. It was a strange feeling because I've had a happy life, but there was always this thing that something was missing,' says Mary, 58.

Meeting her brother and sister, she felt, would make her life complete.  That same year, 2002, she spoke to a counsellor at the Nugent Adoption agency, who was able to give her some more information about her birth parents and siblings.  It threw up a mix of emotions.  Mary had always imagined her birth mother as a vulnerable teenager, forced by poverty or family disapproval to give up her baby.  'Back in the Sixties, it would have been hard under those circumstances,' says Mary, 58.

Instead, she discovered that her mother was 34 when she had given birth to her and had already given two babies away.  'That didn't sit well with me. I'm not angry at all, I just can't fathom how any woman can give a whole family away. She was offered help by the Church but still chose to give us away.'

For the first time, Mary began to have doubts about trying to find her brother and sister: would they even want to be found?

'Did they know about me and, if so, why hadn't they come searching?' she says. 'Part of me thought that if I started looking and they didn't want to be involved, I'd be sorry.'

For the time being, Mary busy with her career as a hairdresser and her role as a mother to Stephanie, now 38, and Richard, now 30 put the search out of her mind.  Then, three years later, her father died.  That loss seemed to trigger an even more powerful longing for the siblings she had never met. She found herself glued to the heartbreaking stories of adoption and reunion on ITV's Long Lost Family, the programme that reunites relatives separated by adoption.  In 2022, after yet another tear-jerking episode and a full 20 years since her father had given her the letter Mary finally decided to take a chance. She filled out an application to the show and then, as life got busy, almost forgot about it.  Five months later, she received an unexpected phone call.  'It was one of the Long Lost Family team who wanted to ask some more questions. I nearly dropped the phone!' she says.

Because she had her siblings' dates of birth, the team was able to make a quick breakthrough.  They found her brother George and sister Bridget who was now called Andrea. Not only were they both alive and well, but were living just 40 miles apart from one another, 240 miles south of Mary.  In an upcoming episode of the series, co-host Davina McCall breaks the news to Mary at her home in Liverpool.  'It was just unbelievable,' Mary recalls. 'It was a life-changing moment, that's the only way I can explain it. I started shaking because even though I'd known about them, it was another thing to actually be told "we've found them".'

George and Andrea, meanwhile, were dealing with their own sense of shock after each receiving a letter from Long Lost Family explaining they had a sister who was trying to trace them.  Andrea Tovey, 64, a former civil servant from Gillingham in Kent, initially thought the letter was a scam.  'I was a bit suspicious. It was just such a shock to get a letter saying my sister was wanting to find me when I never knew I had one,' the mum of two admits.

It was even more of an 'unbelievable, wonderful shock' to be told that she also had a brother.  Today, as the three of them speak, there is an undeniable ease and warmth between them.  They fall into a casual, comfortable patter as if they've known each other for decades, not months.  With similar laid-back demeanours and endearingly gentle laughs, only Mary's soft Liverpudlian accent gives away the fact the trio didn't grow up together.nnAs Mary jokingly cuts across from George as he proudly claims responsibility for the reunion he had been looking for his two sisters for more than four years and was just days away from finding them himself before Long Lost Family got in touch you can see they have already developed that unmistakable knack for jovial sibling bickering.  They chuckle about the obvious physical similarities: 'We are all very pale,' laughs Mary, 'and if you look at the shape of our eyes and mouths I think it's the same'.

Unlike Mary, both George and Andrea were raised as only children.  Born in Highgate, London, and raised in Gillingham, Andrea had always known she was adopted. Like Mary, she had a blissfully happy childhood, brought up principally by her father, Leonard, after her adoptive mother Betty died of cancer when she was just six.  Andrea had pulled her birth records as a young adult, but as she was the first child to be born to Rita O'Reilly, there was no mention of a younger brother or sister.  Life was busy and fulfilling and she decided not to chase after her parents in case they weren't interested in meeting.  Born in Hackney and raised in Loughton, Essex, George Buttwell, 62, had also known he was adopted as long as he could remember. Like his sisters, he had a happy childhood, leaving him with little urgency to uncover his past.  In 1998, his wife, Lesley, saw a programme about accessing adoption records, which piqued steel fixer George's interest. He applied for his adoption paperwork and original birth certificate, which provided brief details about his birth parents.  But it was really only years later in 2019 that his search got going. George's youngest daughter, Lindsey, 34, bought him a DNA test as a gift. The results opened a new chapter, throwing up relatives he never knew he had in Ireland and London. He began to discover more about his past than he had ever imagined.  George's DNA test linked him to a second cousin in Ireland and through him and another member of his extended family, he heard he had two sisters for the first time.  'Knowing that, I became determined to find them,' says the father of three.

He then decided to explore a hunch that his sisters might have been born at the same Catholic nursing home in London as him. St Margaret's no longer existed, but he was told he might be able to find out more about his sisters through the Catholic Children's Society in Westminster. Its records contained the full names and dates of birth for his sisters.  His local council adoption service agreed to contact his sisters on his behalf and was just doing some final legal checks when the letter arrived from Long Lost Family.  'I'd been looking for four years by that stage. I told [the adoption service] to call off the search. It was amazing news but perhaps not as much of a surprise as it was to Andrea, who didn't know about either of us.'

Last November, the three siblings finally came face-to-face in a Liverpool hotel in emotional scenes which will be broadcast tonight.  As Davina explains as they wait to meet: 'It is very rare for Long Lost Family to find and bring together three full siblings all of whom until today have been complete strangers to one another.'

Andrea was first in the room; her heart in her mouth.  'It actually felt like quite a while before they came in and I started getting emotional before,' she recalls. 'It was something I'd never believed could happen after all this time but it was so nice. We held hands as we talked and we just seemed to get on straight away.'

George agrees. 'It did feel like we were all family. You could feel that straight away that we've got this thing in common, no matter how far we've drifted.'

Now, though, the sibling bond appears to be growing stronger with every passing month. They have an official family WhatsApp Group called O'Reilly Melody after the surnames of their birth parents.  In January, less than two months after the show, they came together again at George's Essex home, where a picture of the three of them now takes pride of place in the living room.  A second reunion followed in June, with a pub lunch in London and another trip to George's house to share notes on their histories and meet extended family.  Just this week, George's daughter Sarah, 38, flew in from Spain and Andrea was there to meet her.  Small things mean a lot: for Mary, it's been a thrill to send birthday and Christmas cards to her brother and sister for the very first time.  The growing bond feels so natural that Mary has even taken to cutting Andrea's hair.  'Every time I've seen her she's blow-dried my hair and last time she actually cut it. I've never looked so glamorous,' smiles Andrea.

But for all the joy of getting to know one another (Andrea even jokes she shares the same love for the TV detective, Columbo, as George) there is sadness for the missed years they could have had together.  'I know that my parents would have adopted the other two if they'd have known and we could have all been together, as we should have been,' says Mary.

The siblings have discovered that Jim Melody passed away around 20 years ago and Rita O'Reilly around ten years later. As they were unmarried, Jim was buried in Ireland and Rita in Finchley, North London. From what they have gathered from relatives, the siblings understand that Rita and Jim lived together on and off for 40 years, but the real nature of their relationship remains a mystery: the pair have taken to the grave many unanswered questions for Mary, Andrea and George.  'For the time they were living in, for their background, it would have made a lot of sense to get married, so why didn't they?, George, who has visited his mother's grave, has often wondered.  Why did their mother have them adopted, and to different families?

And why, when Rita and Jim appeared to travel from Dublin to London together, did Rita keep leaving their London address and flitting to different areas?

For now at least, the unresolved questions are overshadowed by the joy of finding one another.  'I've got ideas of what I'd like to do if I get to the point of retiring, but this has given me this extra positive feeling. It's this happy unknown future now and there's already this genuine love there with us,' says Andrea.

'It's a feeling you can't really describe because it's something I've never experienced before,' says Mary. 'It was like I'd already known them forever.'

    Episode six of Long Lost Family airs on ITV1 and ITVX on August 25th, at 9pm.
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https://www.careleavers.com/history/

Uncovering The Past Abuse of Children in Care

During the 1990s and into the 21st century, the problem of the widespread abuse of children in care has been increasingly recognised. There were many investigations and reports into such abuse in the UK. The same occurred in a number of other countries (such as Ireland, Canada and Australia).

This section of our website is dedicated to highlighting this problem. Although it focuses on what we know about abuse in the past, we also know that abuse continues to occur. Cases are regularly reported in newspapers and on radio and television. We want to make sure that governments and professionals deal with this problem properly. We also want to support those courageous care leavers and professionals who seek to expose such abuse.

We disagree with those who have claimed that the investigations and court cases of the past 15 years have been a witch-hunt and have exaggerated the problem. On the contrary, our members know that much of the abuse that went on in the past was never uncovered and has never been dealt with. Many of us have directly experienced or witnessed physical or sexual abuse that was never brought to light.

Throughout history, the possibility of abuse (whether physical or sexual) within the child care system has often  been ignored. For example, outbreaks of venereal diseases in children’s homes in the early part of the twentieth century were usually explained away as the result of ‘innocent’ transmission through shared towels, toilet seats, etc. (see Carol Smart’s article).

It was only in the 1980s and 1990s that we saw wide acceptance of the existence of such abuse. As the Police Complaints Authority investigation into the Leicestershire child abuse cases noted: “…even today it is beyond the comprehension of most people that a parent might physically or sexually abuse a child. It is even more unthinkable that this could happen to children under professional care”.
The Abuse of Looked After Children: Developments in the 1990s

There is now overwhelming evidence of widespread abuse during past decades that went largely unpunished and largely unnoticed outside the care system. A wide range of professionals and responsible adults refused to believe complaints made by children and by other adults. Reading through the relevant inquiry reports provides graphic evidence of the scale of suffering involved. The three most important reports are the ‘Pindown’ inquiry by Alan Levy and Barbara Kahan, (1991), the Leicestershire inquiry (1993) and the inquiry into abuse in children’s homes in North Wales (known as the Waterhouse Report, 2000).
Pindown

A total of at least 132 children, aged nine and upwards, experienced what came to be called ‘pindown’ in a number of Leicestershire children’s homes between 1983 and 1989. ‘Pindown’ was little short of a system of solitary confinement for large periods of time. It varied in length but did last, in one instance, up to 84 continuous days. It was punishment for such activities as running away from care or school, petty theft, bullying and threats of violence. It exhibited “the worst elements of institutional control: baths on admission, special clothing, strict routine, segregation and isolation, humiliation, and inappropriate bed times” (Levy and Kahan, 1991: 167). The social workers involved even wrote down, in detail, how their system operated. When you read through the report, it becomes clear that the ringleaders were clearly proud of what they were doing.
Leicestershire

This inquiry looked at high levels of physical, sexual and emotional abuse in a number of Leicestershire children’s homes between 1973 and 1986. These were homes run by Frank Beck, but Beck was not the only person convicted. At his trial in 1991, Beck was found guilty of 17 counts of physical and sexual abuse. In a parallel Police Complaints Authority investigation into why so many of the complaints made to police by children had been badly dealt with, the police admit that the central problem for these children was “that they considered the police officers who dealt with them did not believe their stories. They were justified in that suspicion. To most of the police officers who dealt with them, they were no more than juvenile criminals who habitually told lies.”
North Wales

This inquiry looked at abuse within children’s homes in North Wales between 1974 and 1996. This was by far the biggest of the abuse scandals, with fifteen individuals convicted of offences. The investigation received evidence from 259 complainants and concluded that “Widespread sexual abuse of boys occurred in children’s residential establishments in Clwyd between 1974 and 1990” (page 197). In the neighbouring county of Gwynedd, the level of abuse was lower and was mainly physical.
The Government Response

The Conservative government in the 1990s said that the reforms introduced by the 1989 Children Act would help to prevent such widespread abuse in the future. However, Waterhouse and other enquiries showed that the 1989 Act was not enough. Also, the focus of the 1989 Children Act on the rights of children had died down by the mid-1990s. Many residential social workers and others talked about the ‘excessive’ powers that the Act had given to young people.

Concern with child abuse in the care system in North Wales grew gradually and Welsh Secretary William Hague set up a judicial inquiry in 1996. He also set up a review of the safeguards for children living away from home in England and Wales. This led to the 1997 Utting Report. There were numerous other investigations already being conducted by the police. By February 2000, as many as 32 separate investigations into abuse were underway in England and Wales.

The main parliamentary debate on the Waterhouse Report took place in March 2000. It is striking no one raised concerns about false allegations of abuse. Indeed, the most common concern is that the abuse uncovered represents the tip of an iceberg. Even as late as December 2001, only a few questions relating to ‘Operation Care’ from Claire-Curtis Thomas MP (from Merseyside) gave a hint of the backlash against the abuse investigations that is now underway. 

Given the widespread revulsion expressed by MPs whilst debating the North Wales abuse cases, the establishment of a Home Affairs Select Committee investigation “into the conduct of investigations of past cases of abuse in children’s homes” was a surprise. It resulted from behind the scenes lobbying by supporters of alleged victims of miscarriages of justice. The committee, focused on these alleged victims, seemed relatively unconcerned with the problems of a justice system that could allow widespread abuse to continue for so long. This is clear from the Committee’s terms of reference:

The Committee will not investigate individual cases, some of which may still be subject of legal proceedings, but it will address the following issues:

1.    Do police methods of ‘trawling’ for evidence involve a disproportionate use of resources and produce unreliable evidence for prosecution
2.    Is the Crown Prosecution Service drawing a sensible line about which cases should be prosecuted?
3.    Should there be a time limit-in terms of number of years since the alleged offence took place-on prosecution of cases of child abuse?
4.    Is there a risk that the advertisement of prospective awards of compensation in child abuse cases encourages people to come forward with fabricated allegations?
5.    Is there a weakness in the current law on “similar fact” evidence?

Committee chairman, Chris Mullin MP, confirmed that his priority was accused professionals, even while trying to reassure the victims of abuse:

This inquiry raises difficult and sensitive issues. It has been suggested that a whole new genre of miscarriages of justice has arisen from the over-enthusiastic pursuit of allegations about abuse of children in institutions many years ago. The decision to conduct this inquiry was taken in response to a large number of well-argued representations received by the Committee. We shall be looking at the methods by which convictions have been achieved and whether there are adequate safeguards. We shall bear in mind, however, that people convicted of sexually abusing children are more likely to continue protesting their innocence than any other category of prisoner.

If one reads the report, it is clear from the tone of the questioning of various witnesses to the committee where its priorities lay. Witnesses representing abuse victims were repeatedly questioned about the role of compensation in generating false claims, the potential for ‘false memories’ and the validity and dangers of police ‘trawling’ for witnesses and survivors.

Given the scale of hidden abuse revealed by the inquiries, the priorities of the committee are questionable. No one wants to see falsely accused people put in prison. However, we already know from the inquiry reports that hundreds of children, at the very least, had been seriously abused in the care system and that this had been hidden for, in many cases, decades. Wouldn’t the committee have made a much better use of its time trying to understand why police and professionals had failed to protect so many young people from such crimes over such a long period? Throughout the Waterhouse investigation, members of parliament from all parties had been willing to accept, in the words of Roger Sims, a senior Conservative backbencher:

That the abuse of children in institutions is a widespread and continuing problem…while inquiries and reports are necessary, it is essential that, thereafter, measures should be implemented to ensure the prevention of further abuse. (House of Commons Debates, 17.6.1996, col.525).

However, in this case the Home Affairs Select Committee was responding to pressures from groups that represent professionals. The inequality between such groups and their often isolated and damaged former clients is obvious. Care leavers often lack the networks, resources and influence to challenge such professionals. It was reassuring, therefore, that the government’s response to the report of the Home Affairs Select committee roundly rejected most of its recommendations and supported the conduct of the police investigations into past abuse. For example, the government response into the Committee’s activities stated that the government “does not share its believe in the existence of large numbers of miscarriages of justice”. It also noted that “the weight given by the Committee to the views of those who believe in miscarriages of justice, including those who claim to be the victims themselves of such cases, is disproportionate”. The government reply is also highly critical of most of the rest of the Committee’s approach.

Moreover, the police have always robustly defended their investigation techniques in this area and their view that there was, indeed, widespread abuse in the care system of the past. As a group of professionals who are used to sniffing out false accusations, one would have thought that their views should carry more weight with some of the critics of past abuse claims. The idea that significant numbers of care leavers have managed to pull the wool over the eyes of the police, prosecutors, judges and juries is simply not credible.
Further Reading

Corby, B, Doig, A and Roberts, V (2001), Public Inquiries into Abuse of Children in Residential Care. Jessica Kingsley: London.

Home Affairs Committee, Press Notice No.9: ‘Home Affairs Committee Launches Inquiry into the Conduct of Investigations into Past Cases of Abuse in Children’s Homes’, 16th January 2002. House of Commons: London.

Home Affairs Committee, 2002b: Oral Evidence, uncorrected transcript, 25th June 2002.

Home Office (Secretary of State) (2003), The Conduction of Investigations into Past Cases of Abuse in Children’s Homes (The Government Reply to the Fourth Report from the Home Affairs Committee) (Cm 5799), Norwich: The Stationery Office.

House of Commons Debates (17.3.200), Vol.346, cols 623-691.

Kirkwood, A (1993), The Leicestershire Inquiry 1992. Leicestershire County Council: Leicester.

Levy, A and Kahan, B (1991), The Pindown Experience and the Protection of Children. Staffordshire County Council.

Police Complaints Authority (1993), Inquiry into Police Investigation of Complaints of Child and Sexual Abuse in Leicestershire Children’s Homes: A Summary. Police Complaints Authority: London.

Smart, C (2000), ‘Reconsidering the Recent History of Child Sexual Abuse, 1910-1960’, Journal of Social Policy, 29 (1): 55-71.

Waterhouse, R (2000), Lost in Care: Report of the Tribunal of Inquiry into the abuse of Children in Care in the former county council areas of Gwynedd and Clwyd since 1974. (HC 201). The Stationery Office: London.
85
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-63038627?fbclid=IwY2xjawEymi1leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHU21ti73F1Aw6t4g-fPDw3DUui3mpybIY9LRmilTeMvT3hvc8MEucoSxsQ_aem_BYCkPx4_aTyAQO43ZOP5b

Mother and baby home survivors’ stories published: ‘I was told I was going’

27 September 2022
By Robbie Meredith
BBC News NI Education Correspondent

“I became pregnant and when my mother found out I was taken immediately to a doctor and within a very short period of time I found myself in a Good Shepherd mother-and-baby home.”

This is part of one woman’s personal testimony about her experience of mother-and-baby homes in Northern Ireland.  Her account has been published along with a number of others, running to hundreds of pages and made available on the Quote oral history website run by Queen’s University Belfast, external (QUB).

Those who experienced life in workhouses and Magdalene laundries have told their stories and the transcripts also include evidence from children born in the homes.  The testimonies have been anonymised but have been published with the full permission of those who gave them.  One woman, referred to as LC, was sent to a Good Shepherd mother-and-baby home when she became pregnant, aged 17.  “I was just told I was going and that was it,” she added.

“I was put in a car with the local parish priest and my mother and off I went.”

LC’s baby was adopted against her wishes but later in life she was able to reunite with her adopted child.  A mother referred to as HS also entered a Good Shepherd home when she was pregnant, aged 19.  She said that she was made to feel “isolated and sinful” there.  DH, meanwhile, was born in a mother-and-baby home and then adopted.  The impact that it’s had on me as a person has been significant,” he said.

DH had begun a process on reuniting with his birth mother when he was in his 30s.

Stigma of pregnancy outside marriage

Mother-and-baby institutions housed women and girls who became pregnant outside marriage.  There was stigma attached to pregnancy outside of marriage and women and girls were admitted by families, doctors, priests and state agencies.  The laundries were Catholic-run workhouses that operated across the island of Ireland.  About a third of women admitted to the homes were aged under 19 and most were aged from 20 to 29.  The youngest was 12 and the oldest 44.  A number were the victims of sexual crime, including rape and incest.  Numbers of entrants peaked in the late 1960s and early 1970s, before a rapid reduction in the 1980s.  The oral evidence had informed a major Stormont report into mother-and-baby homes and Magdalene laundries in Northern Ireland, which was published in January 2021.  It found that 10,500 women went through mother-and-baby homes in Northern Ireland and 3,000 were admitted into Magdalene laundries.  The report detailed often harsh conditions and abuse suffered by some of those admitted to eight mother-and-baby homes, a number of former workhouses and four Magdalene laundries in Northern Ireland.  Some women said they had been detained against their will, were used as unpaid labour and had to give up babies for adoption.  The experts from QUB and Ulster University who carried out the research for the 2021 report had said they intended to make some of the transcripts of evidence “available for consultation by members of the public”.  That has now been done with full transcripts of testimonies from 24 individuals about their experiences.
‘Traumatic and upsetting’

Thirteen of the testimonies are from “birth mothers” women who gave birth while living in the institutions.  Five are testimonies from the children of birth mothers, one from another relative and five from “other observers” of the institutions.  The “other observers” include an elderly retired priest, a woman whose father worked in a Good Shepherd convent, a retired midwife, a woman who had lived in one of the Sacred Heart homes and a woman who knew a number of residents of one of the homes.  Details have been removed from the transcripts that would identify any of those who agreed that their experiences could be published.  An introduction to the transcripts said that a “range of contrasting and complex testimonies” had been collected.  “They ranged from testimonies that were highly critical of the mother and baby institutions and Magdalene laundries through to very different narratives from individuals who worked within them,” it said.

“Readers will no doubt be aware that the testimony they will encounter is often traumatic and upsetting.  The transcripts reveal many birth mothers were pressured to give up a child for adoption.  Several relate testimony about various forms of mistreatment.  The latter included a range of details, spanning regimental institutional regimes that imposed cleaning chores on heavily pregnant women through to, in a very small number of cases, more serious allegations of sexual abuse.”

The interviews were carried out by Prof Sean O’Connell of QUB and Dr Olivia Dee.  Prof O’Connell told BBC News NI that he wanted to pay tribute to the courage of all of those who had been involved in the process and came forward to give oral evidence.  Following the publication of the research report in January 2021, a Truth Recovery Design Panel which had been established by the Stormont Executive subsequently recommended that a public inquiry be held into the institutions in Northern Ireland.  The PSNI has also launched an investigation into allegations of physical and sexual abuse in the institutions.

*  Listen here to BBC News NI’s podcast ‘Assume Nothing: The Last Request’ about a man who was born in a mother-and-baby home and his last wish to track down his birth mother
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13742441/Im-forensic-psychologist-interviewed-Britains-horrifying-killers-murderer-hated-most.html

I'm a forensic psychologist and have interviewed some of Britain's most horrifying killers but there was a murderer that I hated the most

By John James

Published: 09:44, 17 August 2024 | Updated: 10:53, 17 August 2024

One of Britain's top forensic psychologists who sat across the table from some of the world's most deranged criminal minds has revealed he has never disliked a subject more than Moors Murder Ian Brady.  Professor Jeremy Coid first met Brady back in 2003 whilst conducting a mental health review for him at Ashworth High Security Psychiatric Hospital in Merseyside.  Brady, then aged 65, had been incarcerated for 37 years at this point for the gruesome Moors Murders with evil accomplice Myra Hindley in the 1960s.  The twisted couple who have been remembered as 'The Moors Murderers' engaged in the sadistic brutality and murder of five children, before burying their bodies in Saddleworth Moor in North West England.  Professor Coid made his comments in an interview with independent filmmaker Thomas Gardner, recalling that his first impression of the sadistic killer was remarkably low key.  'He was quite pleasant and courteous', he recalled, 'he looked to me like quite a shabby Oxford don. He was wearing a sports jacket and had a shot of grey hair.'

The child killer was born in 1938 in Glasgow, where he was raised by foster parents in the Gorbals, infamously known as one of Glasgow's toughest and most impoverished slums.   As a teenager, Brady committed a slew of petty crimes, with the courts eventually sending him to Manchester to live with his mother, and her new husband, Patrick Brady.  As time went on, with the intention to 'better himself,' Brady pursued new interests in building up a library of books on Nazism, sadism and sexual perversion.  Staring across the table at the psychopathy, Professor Coid remarked that he exuded a desperate sinister need to 'control'.   He continued: 'What happened during the interview was it became very clear it was very difficult to interrupt him.  'This was a man who was so self centered that he didn't want to do anything but talk about himself and about his negative feelings towards others.'

Brady and Hindley eventually tortured and killed five children aged between 10 and 17 and buried their bodies in Saddleworth Moor at least four of the victims were sexually assaulted.  Their first victim was Pauline Reade, who was murdered by Brady and Hindley when she was just 16 years old, in 1963. She had picked up by Hindley and taken to the moor where she was sexually assaulted and strangled by Brady.  Hindley and Brady then lured schoolboy, 12-year-old John Kilbride, from a market in Ashton-Under-Lyne in 1963.  In a familiar pattern, the three of them ended up taking a detour to windswept Saddleworth Moor. Brady told Hindley he sexually assaulted and strangled the boy.  The third victim was 12-year-old Keith Bennet in 1964, with Hindley luring him into a van by asking him to help with some boxes and sadistic lover Brady watching his prey from the back seat.  With the three taking yet another detour to windswept Saddleworth Moor, Brady later told Hindley he sexually assaulted and strangled the boy. He is the only of the five victim's whose body has never been found.  Youngest victim Lesley Ann Downey, 10, had been lured from a fairground to Hindley and Brady's home in 1964, where, once inside the house, she was undressed, gagged and strangled.  She was later found naked with her clothes at her feet, in a shallow grave on the moor, after a sickening 16-minute recording of her death was captured by the pair.  The final victim was 17-year-old Edward Evans, who was attacked with an axe, smothered with a cushion and strangled with an electrical cable in 1965.  Professor Coid said that although Brady's crimes were shocking he had on the occasion encountered worse. However, the Moors Murderer's aura engendered in him a personal dislike he had never encountered before.  He explained: 'I think if you're an experienced forensic psychiatrist it's important to be aware of how your patients make you feel and how they make you feel towards them.  He didn't make me afraid at all, but he produced in me a profoundly negative feeling.  A feeling of personal dislike towards him that grew and grew as the interview went on.  He was doing something to me, to my inner world. It became quite clear he was trying to control me throughout the interview.  I've seen offenders who have committed extremely unpleasant and sometimes possibly even worse murders that haven't managed to produce such a negative reaction in me.'

Brady never showed any remorse for his heinous crimes, while Hindley maintained she had been beaten and drugged by her partner into becoming a cold-blooded killer.  Touching on the deviant's callous lack of remorse, Professor Coid said: 'He never showed any remorse and made it clear he never would.  'I asked him about remorse and he referred to it as wind and said "if they want wind they would have to wait till Doomsday before they got it."'
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13656215/jojo-siwa-pregnancy-plans-announcing-gay.html?ito=social-facebook&fbclid=IwY2xjawEq42ZleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHeCaT3ycxjxWC7zCtAE43URifU4enUWcJUm-p5vo_0b_aZaWjWYdEGlVdw_aem_0Dtfb6pMZpFK115DePUPCQ

JoJo Siwa, 21, reveals VERY ambitious pregnancy plans after coming out as gay

    READ MORE:  JoJo Siwa recalls moment she realized she was gay

By Noa Halff For Dailymail.Com

Published: 15:45, 21 July 2024 | Updated: 17:50, 21 July 2024

JoJo Siwa has revealed her ambitious pregnancy plans after coming out as gay.  The 21-year-old former 'Dance Moms' star, who came out as gay in 2021, did not hold back when it comes to her dreams of motherhood.  The singer has frequently expressed a desire for motherhood, telling DailyMail.com last year that she wants a baby ‘literally tomorrow' and already revealing the names she has picked out.   In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Siwa announced her intentions to have not one, not two, but three babies all at the same time with different surrogates.  Because I'm gay and I have to plan a pregnancy much different than a straight person, I actually want to take three eggs, fertilize three eggs, and have three surrogates,' she said in the July 15 video.  So technically, they'll all be [from] the same batch but they would all be born separately.'

'Then maybe their little birthdays will land on different days and they can be like triplets, but like, not,' she continued.

She shared the names of her said future kids, saying,' 'I'm like, 'Just so you know, there are three children. Their names are Freddy, Eddie and Teddy.'

The 'Karma' singer confirmed confidently that her three children will 'be here' in three years 'whether you like it or not.'

Siwa explained that she discusses her plans with partners very early on in the dating process.  'I'm like, 'Just so you know, there are three children. Their names are Freddy, Eddie and Teddy,'' she said. ''I will have as many more as you want, however many more but FET is coming and they will be here in three years, whether you like it or not.''  Those are my nuggets and no one comes before my nuggets.'

This wasn't Siwa's first time expressing her desire for motherhood.  She told E! News earlier this year about her plans to have three children a baby girl named Freddie and twin boys named Eddy and Teddy. '  'I got three tattoos dedicated to them,' she said in March. 'Got a sperm donor lined up. We're ready. We just gotta be patient. I got a couple of years.'

Last year, at age of 20, she told DailyMail.com that she wanted a baby 'literally tomorrow,' while gushing about how she 'can't wait to be a mom' months after she was slammed for pretending to be pregnant.  The Dance Moms alum spoke out about her desire to have children while chatting exclusively with DailyMail.com.  While discussing her co-star Nick Viall's impending fatherhood, JoJo couldn't contain her own excitement about one day becoming a mother.  When asked if she wanted to have kids of her own, she said, 'Literally tomorrow. I can't wait to be a mom.'
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https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/how-mother-child-separation-causes-neurobiological-vulnerability-into-adulthood.html?fbclid=IwY2xjawEoJhFleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHbYn0RwlLWzSDQrYK5dv8IIBXJU15aHUEgu2nJSmG9cH2o98o9OQWPqVnA_aem_tX-yhka-ybBWdBn2r4XS5g

How Mother-Child Separation Causes Neurobiological Vulnerability Into Adulthood
June 20, 2018

The evidence from psychological research is clear: When children are separated from their parents, it can have traumatic repercussions for kids' lives down the line.

But attachment is much more than a feeling according to research in Current Directions in Psychological Science, it's an umbrella term critical to development across the lifespan.

The attachment bond between a mother and her child is first formed in the womb, where fetuses have been found to develop preferential responses to maternal scents and sounds that persist after birth, explains Myron Hofer, who was director of the Sackler Institute for Developmental Psychology at Columbia University until his retirement in 2011. These rapid early-learning processes continue during the newborn stage of development, in which children begin to recognize their mothers' faces and voices.

From this point on, early maternal separation can result in a series of traumatic emotional reactions during which the child engages in an anxious period of calling and active search behavior followed by a period of declining behavioral responsiveness.

In a study of infant rats, Hofer found that this behavior was largely a response to the loss of warmth a child receives through bodily contact, nutrients, and other physiological interactions with its mother. While Hofer was able to normalize the cardiac and REM-sleep cycles of neonatal rats in his lab by providing them with artificial warmth, tactile stimulation (e.g., petting them with a paint brush), and abundant milk, this research did not, he writes, account for the role of higher-level behaviors such as reciprocity, imitation, attunement, and play in the mother–child relationship.

"In thinking about the implication of these findings for human infants, one can suppose that these kinds of simple maternal regulators would be found early in a baby's postnatal period, but that soon more subtle and intricate interactions would become important," Hofer writes.

Hofer and colleagues also studied the effect of separation on rats in adolescence and adulthood. When submitted to a 24-hour period of immobilization, 80% of adolescent rats who were removed from their mothers before weaning were found to develop stomach ulcers in response to the stress. Normally reared rats, meanwhile, experienced no ulceration at all. Unexpectedly, those same early-weaned rats were then less vulnerable to ulcers in adulthood, when approximately 50% of normally reared rats experienced ulceration, suggesting they may have become less stress-responsive with age.

Though human relationships are more complex than those of rodents, the research suggests that withdrawing maternal support early in a child's life can have a number of physiological and behavioral consequences that may contribute to a complex, changing pattern of vulnerability over the life span, Hofer says.

"Variations in qualities of mother–infant relationships among humans thus appear to have deep biological roots in the form of their capacity to shape children's psychological and biological responses to their environment effects that extend into adulthood," he writes.

Resources

Hofer, M. A. (2006). Psychobiological Roots of Early Attachment. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(2), 84–88. doi:10.1111/j.0963-7214.2006.00412.x

Pascuzzo, K., Moss, E., & Cyr, C. (2015). Attachment and Emotion Regulation Strategies in Predicting Adult Psychopathology. SAGE Open, 5, 215824401560469. doi:10.1177/2158244015604695
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https://bylinetimes.com/2024/08/07/neurodiverse-mother-and-daughter-sue-birmingham-council/

Neurodiverse Mother and Daughter Sue Birmingham Council for ‘Wrongful’ Separation

They claim the council was negligent in pursuing a care order and breached their human rights
Natasha Phillips
7 August 2024

An autistic mother and daughter are suing Birmingham City Council for separating them during child protection proceedings claiming that the council was negligent in pursuing a care order, did not understand neurodiversity, and had breached their human right to family life.  The child, who was born in 2016, was taken into care when she was seven weeks old, after her mother had asked the local authority for support.   Byline Times learned of her story through the Family Court Reporting Pilot which allows accredited journalists access to court hearings that have historically been held in private. No details that can lead to the parties involved being identified can be reported.  The mother, who was subjected to intimate partner violence by the child’s father resulting in an indefinite restraining order and criminal conviction against him, contacted the council because she felt anxious about being a first time mother. She expressed fears about whether her autism might make parenting more challenging and whether the abuse she suffered by the father might affect the way she felt about their daughter.   Local authority staff claimed the mother was mentally unwell and had a borderline personality disorder, and applied for a care order.  The child, who is now eight, was initially placed in foster care for more than 20 months and then given to her paternal grandmother to be looked after.  The care proceedings for the child concluded in 2018 and the child was returned to her mother.  “Because I was taken from momma at the age of seven-weeks-old, I feel that whenever momma goes out to the shops or something she will not come back,” the young girl told Byline Times. “I don’t think the courts make decisions that are the best for children. Social services did not provide me with a life story while I was in foster care, so I don’t even know my first word.”

Several court filings, which this newspaper has seen, are critical of the local authority’s actions, with one judge concluding that the mother “had been deprived of the opportunity to demonstrate her ability to care [for her daughter]” and that both mother and child were now “seeking damages from the local authority”.

The details of the claim against Birmingham City Council, which have been shared with Byline Times, allege that the mother and daughter suffered psychological harm as a result of the care order and that the council had prevented the child from forming a secure attachment to her mother. The filing also alleges that the council failed to provide opportunities for the mother to breastfeed and restricted their ability to bond.  The claim goes on to allege that the council’s removal of the child was not in her “best interests and was a disproportionate and draconian response to the difficulties experienced by [the mother],” and “failed to appreciate that [the mother] had not been provided with adequate intervention and specialist support”. The council is also accused of providing “contact arrangements that were initially chaotic and denied any contact”.

The young girl has since been diagnosed with an attachment disorder and is waiting for an assessment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

The UK’s Care Crisis

The United Nations has become increasingly concerned by the numbers of children being placed into care in the UK. Observations produced by the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child in 2023 urged the UK to take a child rights-focused approach to children’s social care and ensure children’s voices were heard in care proceedings. It also pushed for the UK to reduce the number of child removals and to do so through “early intervention and preventative services”.    Government figures show there were 83,840 children in care at the end of March 2023, equivalent to one child in every 140. Children with Special Educational Needs (SEND) appear to be disproportionally represented.   Research produced in 2020 by UCL Great Ormond Street Institute of Child Health found that 80% of children in England who were in care between the ages of five and 16 received support for SEND, which includes children with a diagnosis of autism. Established research estimates that one in five people in the UK are neurodiverse.   Neurodiversity refers to the different and natural ways in which people’s brains process the world around them. It can refer to the learning and processing differences found in children and adults, including autism, ADHD and SEND.  Details about the case against Birmingham City Council emerged in documents produced for a separate but related set of proceedings in the family courts about the girl’s contact arrangements with her paternal family which began in 2019. The child began to complain in 2022 about a contact order which had been put in place and an application was filed by the mother to vary it.  The arrangements broke down in part because the father failed to write letters to his daughter as required by the order, and to read letters she had written to him. The paternal grandmother also made comments during contact which upset the child, including repeated remarks about her autism “not being real” and being constantly asked to keep secrets from the mother.  The mother was accused of trying to turn the child against the father and paternal grandmother and as a result engaging in parental alienation.  The final hearing for the family court case was held in August in the Birmingham Family Court. The child’s father did not attend and had a Qualified Legal Representative acting on his behalf.  Qualified Legal Representatives’ are appointed by the court to ensure cross-examinations of vulnerable witnesses such as victims of domestic violence are not carried out by the perpetrators of the abuse. The mother attended the hearing with her barrister and solicitor, while the paternal grandmother attended with her Qualified Legal Representative.  In her application to vary the contact order, the mother said her daughter’s health had deteriorated significantly since the order was made and alleged that the contact arrangements between her daughter and her paternal family, which were produced by the Cafcass support service, had not been mindful of her daughter’s needs as an autistic person and did not take into account her daughter’s wishes and feelings. They included wanting to be able to decide when to see her father and paternal grandmother. The mother added that her experience of intimate partner violence with the father had also been ignored by the Cafcass officer.   The child tried to tell the Cafcass officer on several occasions that she was not comfortable with the arrangements and eventually became distraught and suffered volatile meltdowns. Responding to a Cafcass feedback form which asked what the child thought about Cafcass’s engagement with her she said, “I got so angry that I chewed [the letter], ripped it and stamped on it. Your questions were silly and nothing about contact. You didn’t even ask me what my wishes and feelings are.”

Replying to questions about how Cafcass approached her autism, she said, “I feel that you didn’t respect my disabilities. Your approach was not autism friendly.”

"You didn’t help me. You didn’t make a difference, you only made it worse" - The daughter on Cafcass

“I feel that as an institution, Cafcass are institutionally ableist. During care proceedings they refused to make any reasonable adjustments for me,” the mother told Byline Times.

The mother, who is currently on benefits and receiving legal aid for her cases, used her savings to commission an Independent Social Worker with experience of working with autistic families to produce a report on the current contact arrangements and make recommendations to vary it. The recommendations for contact, which were largely in line with the mother’s and daughter’s wishes, were approved by the judge at the hearing in August.  “Had I not funded this report, I think the hearing would have probably gone down another child protection route,” the mother said.

The judge concluded at the final hearing in August that the arrangements for contact needed to be revised in line with the child’s needs and wishes, and made several changes including ensuring the young girl was not forced to have contact with her father and that he completed a drug rehabilitation work and a domestic abuse programme.  “Autism per se does not mean that you can’t parent. In some ways, I think an autistic parent might argue they had a better insight into the needs of their autistic child, because they can share some of the experiences,” Frances Harris, a barrister at Harcourt Family Law who represented the mother at the final hearing, told Byline Times.

Justice System and Social Care Not Properly Trained on Autism

Legal professionals inside the child protection system are becoming increasingly aware that neurodivergent individuals, particularly autistic parents, face significant challenges in child protection proceedings and assessments about their capacity to parent.  Alia Lewis, the co-founder of Family Law Advice for the Neurodivergent Community (FLANC) and a child care law solicitor at law firm Duncan Lewis, told Byline Times that the justice system and children’s social care did not provide adequate training on autism.   “The biggest problem is that no-one inside the system has any specific training on autism or neurodivergence.  If you don’t have the knowledge, then that means everything that you do in relation to a child is based on what you think you know rather than what you need to know,"  - Alia Lewis, co-founder of FLANC

She added that, “another problem” due to a lack of training amongst both areas within child protection and family justice, in terms of neurodivergence, is that “unless you really have a good understanding of the complex needs that arise with many of these children, it’s very difficult to know what assessments to ask for in court in order to be able to properly care for the child.”

FLANC’s website states that the advice service was set up to ensure “the neurodivergent community has equal access to justice by addressing barriers to participation in family proceedings and dispute resolution”.

Other issues which arise for autistic children and adults during family court cases stem from the set up of the court room. Bright lights, a lot of movement and long hearings can all be challenging for autistic people and can make participating in proceedings almost impossible.  In his closing statement, District Judge Stephen Parker said it was important for anyone who was not autistic to try to understand this form of neurodiversity: “It’s very difficult to look at it from our own perspective because we are in our own little world whereby what we perceive as normal is normal, but that may not be others’ worldview.”

“You can see someone’s got COVID, sneezing, coughing, looking awful. But with neurological issues, be it depression or neurodiversity we may be able to see something is wrong, but we don’t feel it because we haven’t been through it ourself. But we need to understand so as to have empathy with it as it is a different worldview,” he added.

In a statement included in the filings for the hearing, the mother said: “I hope that there is much needed change within social services and the family courts, so that should [my daughter] ever decide to have her own children, she is able to do so without being misunderstood or seen as a deficit, simply because she is autistic.  I would like the court to be aware that care proceedings were extremely traumatic for me. Neither [my daughter] or I have had any support or therapy in relation to our separation.”

Byline Times contacted the legal representatives of the father and paternal grandmother for comment but they did not respond. Birmingham City Council declined to comment.

This story was written as part of the Family Court Reporting Pilot which allows accredited journalists access to a range of family court hearings that have historically been held in private.
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Long Lost Family viewers are left 'broken' and 'sobbing their hearts out' as woman, 71, reunites with her son 55 years after she was forced to give him up for adoption by her ashamed mother

    READ MORE: Woman, 61, is reunited with brother she never knew she had 60 years after they were separated when their 'cruel' adoptive parents sent him back to the children's home

By Alanah Khosla For Mailonline

Published: 17:41, 23 July 2024 | Updated: 17:54, 23 July 2024

Long Lost Family viewers have revealed their heartbreak after watching last night's episode of the ITV show.  The moving British documentary series, hosted by Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell, reunites family members after years of separation, with many participants forced to live apart from relatives due to factors out of their control.  In a touching third episode of the series, which aired on Monday evening, a mother and son reunited after 55 years apart.  Grandmother Sue Stalley, from Bedfordshire, was still at school when she got pregnant. Her mother forced the pregnant teen to give up her son, Richard, five weeks after his birth.  But thanks to the Long Lost Family team, Sue's son, now named Steve, was discovered in the Netherlands, and the duo reunited in emotional scenes, with viewers claiming that while it was 'great TV', they were unable to 'stop the tears'.  Viewers took to X, formerly Twitter, to share their thoughts on Sue and Steve's emotional journey.  One said: 'I haven't watched Long Lost Family is ages and here I am, I can't stop the tears. It's such great TV'.

A second said: '12 minutes in a I'm crying. [It is] a record, I think. #LongLostFamily'. A third added: 'Just broken, I'm sobbing my heart out, lovely programme.'

'Long Lost Family sets me off every single time,' another said. A fifth added: 'I've got something in my eye...#LongLostFamily'. Another added: 'Time to cry my way through Long Lost Family'.

Another joked: 'That was a brilliant episode of Long Lost Family. I'm so pleased for the families being reunited. Could the show sell some merch? Usual things, mugs, clothing, bedding etc., but also "eye gutters" for when you're absolutely in bits.'

The episode revealed how Sue's mother was so ashamed of her daughter's pregnancy that she forced her to wear a thick coat throughout to hide the growing baby bump.  Despite Sue being just a teenager when she first became pregnant, she was convinced that she could look after her baby.  She recalled: 'My boyfriend said, "well, let's get married". But his mum said no, we're far too young. So it didn't happen. My mum was mortified, to say the least. I'd brought shame on the family.  She bought me this massive thick coat, and it was the middle of summer, and I was walking around with this big coat on and everyone kept saying, "are you cold?" and I'd have to go "yeah, I'm cold", so nobody knew I was pregnant.'

Sue's family decided that she would give the child up for adoption and sent her to a nearby mother and baby home, where Sue was miserable and desperate to keep her son after his birth.  'I did try, I did say to her, "I don't want to get the baby adopted, I want to keep him" and they said no, you're too young,' Sue recalled.

Sue tried to return home and ask her mother to reconsider, but the parent refused. Sue spent five weeks with Richard before she had to hand him over to foster care.  She recalled on the show: 'He wasn't taken and then fostered straight away, I looked after him for that five weeks. It was lovely, you've got this little thing in your arms, he needs you, and you need him.  He's yours. And no one can take that away from you. He'll always be mine,' added the mother, who went on to have five more children.

Five weeks after Richard's birth, Sue was told a foster family had been found for him: 'I was told to pack my bags, leave the baby in the nursery and just go. I didn't get to say goodbye. I just cried all the way through it, it wasn't what I wanted. But then what I wanted didn't come into it I don't think.'

She added: 'Afterwards I went home, I got myself a job, still was seeing my boyfriend, and then I found out I was pregnant again.  My mum hit the roof, and I thought, I can't do this again. I was very determined. I've got to put my foot down. She wanted to get him adopted, but I said no.  I said, "if you keep saying I've got to get him adopted, I'll move out and I'll take him with me", and with that, she said "let's come to an agreement".'

Sue's mother looked after the baby in the day whilst Sue was at work. Sue went on to have more children and raised them mainly as a single mother.  She has always regretted giving up her first born son, and felt that she could have coped.  The team discovered Richard is now called Steve, but they had difficulty locating him in the UK. It was only when they widened their search that they discovered Steve living in the Netherlands.  Co-host Nicky Campbell met with Steve to tell him about his birth mother. Steve sympathised with his mother's plight, particularly as he has also brought up his own two children as a single parent.  'My ex wife, she got cancer,' Steve revealed. 'My son was 12, when she died. So I stopped working and brought my son up.  And my daughter I had from a different relationship, she came to live with me as well at six-years-old. So I know what it's like bringing kids up on your own, it's tough.'

When co-host Davina McCall told Sue the news that Richard has been found, she was tearful but delighted and couldn't believe the parallels with his single parent status.  She also discovered that Steve had been in the military, as has much of her family.  Steve, his daughter, and his granddaughter, travelled to meet with Sue, who still lives not far from where he was born.  Ahead of their meeting, Steve said: 'It's really important [to meet my birth mother] because you do have a bit of an identity problem, you know.  It's a big chunk of your life that you've missed out on, so you want to know a bit, what her life was like, anybody would have a thousand questions to ask, you know. I can't wait.'

Sue was emotional after their first hug and recalled: 'I knew that cuddle from when he was a baby. I felt that immediate bond, it was lovely, it was heartfelt.'

Sue also gifted her son a St Christopher medal to keep him safe on his travels. It was an emotional reunion and Steve met his younger sister Stefanie and her family.  'It just feels amazing that he's back. 55 years and there's my son right in front of me. I've longed for that. My family is complete. I've got all my children, and that is all I ever wanted,' said Sue.

Steve added: 'Fantastic we'll be a family now it just feels natural.'
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