Forgotten Mothers UK
General => Articles => Interview/Television/Radio => Topic started by: RDsmum on July 14, 2024, 02:15:14 PM
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13617197/Long-Lost-Family-Woman-74-spent-adult-life-looking-baby-gave-aged-17-strict-parents-says-shes-world-shes-finally-reunited-son.html
Long Lost Family: Woman, 74, who spent her whole adult life looking for the baby she gave up aged 17 because of her strict parents says she's on 'top of the world' as she's finally reunited with her son
Paula Beer was aged just 17 when she made the decision to part from her baby
READ MORE: Woman, 76, forced to put her baby up for adoption after becoming pregnant aged just 16 is reunited with her daughter 60 years later
By Jessica Green For Mailonline
Published: 00:01, 14 July 2024 | Updated: 01:39, 14 July 2024
A woman who spent her whole adult life searching for her child after giving him up for adoption has revealed her joy at reuniting with her son nearly 60 years later. Retired council worker Paula Beer, 74, from Bridgend in Wales, was aged just 17 when she made the heart-breaking decision to part from her baby but spent decades after looking for him. Frightened of her strict parents’ reaction, she had concealed her pregnancy, working long hours in a grocery store in nearby Porthcawl, and only saw a doctor when she was eight months along. Paula gave birth to her son, Paul, in February 1967, spending just three days with him in hospital before he was taken away. But thankfully, the Long Lost Family team located Paula’s son whose name had been changed to Jim, and found him living in the southwest. In emotional scenes, birth mother and son are reunited during episode two of the ITV programme on Monday. After discovering she was pregnant at the age of just 17, Paula came to the conclusion on her own that she’d have to have her baby adopted. She told FEMAIL: 'My father would've thrown me out, the shame and all the rest of it. I made the decision to give [Paul] up for adoption, because he'd have a much better life, he'd have had a very unhappy life with myself and my parents.'
At seven months pregnant, Paula went to stay with a kind aunt in Essex, who helped to arrange the adoption. 'That was a very, very, very bad time in my life. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life,' recalled Paula.
She spent three days with her son before he was taken away to be adopted, 'just looking at him, talking to him, hoping he'd remember my voice, knowing what I have to do and loving him as much as I could you know,' said Paula.
'It was a very, very hard time, and parting with him then was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.'
She added: 'From the moment I held him in my arms for the first time, the love I felt for him then was unbelievable. I didn't think I would feel like that. And I knew I had to part with him. So I wanted not to feel like that.'
Paula later went on to marry and have a daughter but didn’t anticipate the pain of giving up her son would cause her, for the rest of her life. 'Every year on his birthday I light a candle for him, and watch the candle burn and say a prayer and ask God: "please, God, let me find him one day",' revealed Paula ahead of finding her son.
The Long Lost Family team eventually discovered Paul’s name had been changed to Jim, and traced him living in the southwest. It took Jim several months to decide whether he wanted contact with his birth mother, with the happily adopted psychiatric nurse saying on the show: 'It was a mixed range of emotions, from happy to scary you name it.'
But eventually Jim decided that he did want to meet his birth mother, and was delighted to discover she was Welsh, since he's spent lots of time in Wales and loves it. Paula who also shares a love for music and the outdoors with her son revealed she was 'absolutely over the moon' after discovering Jim. She recalled: 'The first thing I said to Davina McCall was "Is he OK?" And she said: "Yes, he's very, very happy." And I said: "Oh, thank god for that." And I said: "Does he want to meet me?" That's my second question. She said, "Yes". My worst fear was that he didn't want to meet me, and that he'd been perfectly happy with his life so far, that he didn't want me in it, or want to meet me. And that does happen. So I have been so, so lucky. I thank God every single day, get down on my hands and thank God for my son.'
Recalling their emotional reunion with one another, Paula said it was 'wonderful', with the pair sharing an affectionate hug. She even admitted: 'I would have stayed there forever with him in my arms.'
'We sat down and he held my hands the whole time... It was totally, totally amazing. He's the son I would have designed for myself. He's perfect for me, to me, with me in every way. 'He's my personality, a toned down version of me I feel he's been my son in my life, all my life.'
Following their experience on the ITV programme, the two now video call a few times a week.