Recent Posts

1

Articles / Adopted girl, 13, found dead wearing just a diaper in unimaginable house.....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on November 19, 2024, 04:47:27 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14098971/Diane-Natasha-Mack-Department-Child-Families-adopted-daughter-dead-diaper.html

Adopted girl, 13, found dead wearing just a diaper in unimaginable house of horrors

By MELISSA KOENIG FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

Published: 02:30, 19 November 2024 | Updated: 11:34, 19 November 2024

A former Florida Department of Children and Families employee has been arrested for allegedly abusing her 13-year-old adopted daughter, who was found dead wearing just a diaper.  Diane Natasha Mack, 34, who once worked as a guardian ad litem a person appointed by the courts system to represent the interests of someone who is unable to care for themselves called police to her home in the Sun 'n Lake of Sebring golf and recreation community on Friday at 12.19am to report her adopted daughter dead after finding her 'lying unresponsive' on the floor.  When deputies arrived at the scene, they found the unidentified victim dead next to the front door, wearing nothing but a diaper and showing 'clear' signs of abuse and neglect, the Highlands County Sheriff's Office reports.  'She was extremely emaciated and obviously malnourished,' Sheriff Paul Blackman said. 'Her body was covered in wounds in all stages of healing, including lacerations that were clearly recently suffered.'

The sheriff went on to call the crime scene 'one of the most disturbing I have encountered in more than 30 years of law enforcement.  There are no words I can say that can truly convey the nightmare that this child's life must have been.'

Authorities now claim that Mack initially told officers on the scene she found the girl on Thursday morning but later changed her time of discovery to around 3pm.  Further investigation also uncovered evidence suggesting the girl, who was homeschooled, had been locked up in a garage, the sheriff's department said.  It is unclear how long the girl had been kept inside the garage, officials said, but 'it appears she was secured to the garage door and monitored from inside the home by a security camera that had been mounted in the garage,' officials said.

Deputies also claim Mack left her daughter 'lying dead on the floor,' while she used 'pool chlorine' to try to destroy evidence inside the garage.  She also allegedly took the time to drive at least four other children who were living inside the home with her to another residence in Titusville, before she returned to Sebring to report the girl's death.   Mack is now being held without bail at the Highlands County Jail as she faces charges of first-degree murder while engaged in aggravated child abuse, aggravated child abuse, kidnapping and destroying evidence.  Sheriff Blackman, meanwhile, has insisted the department 'will do everything in our power to make sure that there is justice for this child.  Parents have a duty to love our children and make sure no harm comes this way,' he said. 'To see a child treated this way is not only heartbreaking, it's infuriating.   What makes it even more appalling is that the suspect is a former employee of not only the Department of Children and Families, but also worked as a guardian ad litem.  That someone whose job it was to look after the welfare of children could treat their own child in this manner is simply beyond belief.'

2

Articles / Adopted children to have closer contact with birth families

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on November 15, 2024, 11:51:38 AM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3vl5w3zy2eo

Adopted children to have closer contact with birth families

Sanchia Berg and Katie Inman
BBC News
Published 7 November 2024

Adopted children are likely to be allowed much closer contact with their birth families in the future as part of "seismic" changes recommended in a report published today. Some families say the changes are long overdue but others worry they may deter people from adopting.  Angela Frazer-Wicks' two sons were removed from her care and adopted in 2004, when they were aged five and one. She was in an abusive relationship and had problems with addiction and her mental health.  By 2011 Angela had recovered, she was in a new relationship, and had a baby daughter. The local authority was not involved in her daughter's care.  Angela's sons and their adoptive parents had stayed in touch with her writing letters and sending photos once or twice a year. But when the older of the two boys became a teenager, he told his adoptive mother he no longer wanted to write to his birth mother. Angela carried on sending cards, but heard nothing back for years.  Then out of the blue, in 2020, Angela received an email from her eldest son. It turned out he had been trying to contact her, but the local authority had told him that wasn't possible.  Last month, Angela met her eldest son in person it was the first time she had seen him for 20 years.  "It was amazing for me," Angela says, "even more so for my daughter she's waited her entire life to meet her brother."

Adoption is the state's most powerful intervention in family life. It is a permanent break between a child and their birth family, and alters the child's identity forever. In law they are no longer the child of their birth parents, and most adopted children grow up without seeing or knowing any of their birth family.  Around 3,000 children are adopted in England each year. It's a process that must be authorised by judges in family courts, who set out the level of contact the child will have with their birth parents usually just letters, sent twice a year, via an intermediary.  While adoption law has evolved over the years allowing children to know more about their history than they once did, in some ways, families say, adoption is still very much stuck in the past.  Now a new report from a group set up by the most senior judge in the family court, external says wholesale reform of the system is needed.  "Letterbox" contact between adopted children and birth families is outdated, the report says, instead recommending face-to-face contact where that is safe.  The extremely detailed report is strongly supported by Sir Andrew McFarlane who says there is no need to change the law for this to happen.  The report is likely to influence family court adoption hearings throughout England and Wales.  Angela Frazer-Wicks describes her experience of adoption as a "life sentence without any right to appeal".

As chair of trustees of the charity Family Rights Group, she is pleased mothers like her will have more chance to continue seeing their children after they have been adopted.  "It's a seismic shift," Angela says. "It's been such a long time coming. My hope is that we start to see just a bit more compassion towards birth families they are so often seen as the problem."

While meeting birth family can be very positive for some adopted children, face-to-face meetings aren't good for all children in this position.  When Cassie was adopted aged three, she constantly worried about the mother she'd been take away from.  Out shopping with her adoptive parents Dee and John, Cassie would even ask if she could buy groceries for her birth mum.  Dee was advised it would be reassuring for Cassie to meet her birth mother face-to-face.  Their reunion, in a noisy contact centre, went well but the following day Cassie was very tired, pale and limp. Dee decided to take Cassie to the doctor, and by the time they arrived at the surgery Cassie was trembling and vomiting uncontrollably.  But there was nothing physically wrong the doctor said Cassie was in shock.  For nearly two years Cassie and Dee went to specialist therapy. Cassie still seemed to worry about her birth mother, and would try to call her on a toy telephone.  Another meeting was arranged, in a quieter environment, with support. After that, Cassie, who is now aged 30, says she didn't want to see her birth mother again.  "I never felt a strong urge," she says. "I had all the information about her."

More reporting from family courts

With more recent adoptions, there is a new kind of risk. Children can trace their birth family online and some will go and meet them. That can lead to conflict with adoptive parents, even adoption breakdown.  "The children become very emotionally mixed up," says Sir Andrew McFarlane, the head of the Family Court in England and Wales.

"If you're trying to work out who you are you in the world, and you have some memory of the family you lived with until you were four or five... it's almost natural to try and trace them and be in touch with them."

Without expert help, this can have disastrous consequences.  In 2021 one couple told the BBC it was "devastating" to see their two adopted sons turn against them and get drawn into crime, after they had been reunited with their birth family.  There is no accurate data on how many adoptions break down. The charity Adoption UK has said it varies between 3% and 9%.  Following a four-year review and consultation, the 170-page report published today says greater consideration should be given to whether adopted children "should have face-to-face contact with those who were significant to them before they were adopted".

The report is intended as a review of the adoption process and a "catalyst for positive changes".

Among the dozens of other recommendations are reforming the law on international adoption, and setting up a national register for court adoption records to make it easier for people to find their own files. The report also recommends dropping the term "celebration" for parents' last visit to court with the child they are adopting.  Many adoptive parents agree the current "letterbox" system of contact is not effective.  In a 2022 survey, Adoption UK found that most prospective adopters believed that standardising direct contact would deter people from adopting, at a time when the number of people coming forward to adopt is in decline.  But at the same time, it found that 70% of those looking to adopt believed that direct contact should be standard practice, if considered safe.  Others think it could create further problems.  Nigel Priestley is a specialist adoption solicitor and an adopter himself. He has seen the issues this contact can cause.  "I think it's enormously risky," he says. "In my view there is a grave danger that if you once open Pandora's Box shutting it will be impossible."

A Department for Education spokesperson said the value of children growing up in a loving family "cannot be underestimated".

And for many children in care, "adoption makes this happen".

"We know that adoption has a profound impact on everyone involved, and it's vital that the child's best interests are protected and remain at the heart of the process."

Clarification 8 November 2024: This story has been amended following updated information supplied by Adoption UK

3

Articles / Moment the son of murdered Lord Lucan nanny confronts 'Old Etonian' and ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on November 11, 2024, 10:17:20 AM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14050793/bbc-two-lucan-moment-son-confronts-man-accused-lord-lucan.html

Moment the son of murdered Lord Lucan nanny confronts 'Old Etonian' and former female impersonator accused in new BBC series of being the fugitive peer

    LISTEN TO THE GRIPPING DAILY MAIL PODCAST THE TRIAL OF LORD LUCAN: Learn what happened when barristers put Lucan on trial with never-before-heard evidence. All episodes on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

By MATT STRUDWICK and VANESSA ALLEN

Published: 00:18, 7 November 2024 | Updated: 10:17, 7 November 2024

This is the moment the son of a nanny bludgeoned to death by Lord Lucan confronts an 'Old Etonian' who is accused of being the missing British peer.   BBC cameras followed Neil Berriman the son of murdered Lucan nanny Sandra Rivett as he tracked down the man he believed to be the missing aristocrat, now living in Australia.  Mr Berriman accused 'Old Etonian' Christopher Bell, 87, of being Lucan and of having killed his mother on November 7, 1974, before going on the run for decades.  In the new BBC documentary, Mr Berriman has a WhatsApp video call with 'just me and the old man' as he's 'after a confession'.  'Let's do this,' Mr Berriman says before dialling the number.

During the call, Mr Berriman creates the false identity of an aging hippy called Bezza Dugal who has left him a brown envelope after he died that reveals Mr Bell's 'real identity'.   He tells Mr Bell he has been told to 'protect him' and 'that is why I know you are Lord Lucan. That is why I don't want to do anything about it'.

Mr Bell replies: 'Good. Well there actually isn't much you can do about it. It's all in the hands of the divine.'   

But Mr Bell later backtracks and says: 'I do not know who the hell Lord Lucan is.' He adds: 'I can assure you, I'm not that man, never have been, never will be.'

The brutal murder of Ms Rivett in the Lucan family home in Belgravia, London, shocked Britain and prompted a five-decade manhunt for the prime suspect, the 7th Earl of Lucan.  Mr Berriman, who Ms Rivett gave up for adoption as a baby, spent years attempting to trace the missing peer, and the new BBC Two documentary shows the dramatic moment when he confronts Mr Bell.  Mr Berriman, a builder from Hampshire, asks about 'the woman that you killed', and Mr Bell replies: 'She came from a background that was very horrendous. She was in a great deal of pain and stress.'

During the often confused exchange, Mr Bell continues: 'I have no memory of killing anybody, of terminating anybody's life.  As far as I know I've never taken the life of anyone.'

In the documentary images of Mr Bell and Lord Lucan are sent to facial recognition expert Professor Hassan Ugail 'who's never been wrong' to be analysed.  Mr Berriman later stands in a corn field with his arms aloft as he reads aloud an email detailing the results with one image saying there's an 88.5pc 'similarity index'.   The algorithm's creator Professor Ugail says anything above 75pc is 'the same individual'.  The results were sent to two other AI companies one in London and one in America a both came back with similar or higher figures.  Mr Berriman is seen jeting off to Australia in a bid to confront Mr Bell having tracked down his remote home in the city of Bundaberg, Queensland, where he is living as a Buddhist monk.  But he's asked not to have the cameras rolling for the meet in which Mr Bell tells him: 'What if I am Lord Lucan? What the f**k are you going to do about it?'

Mr Bell claims to be descended from English aristocracy, to have been educated at Eton and to have been friends with Princess Margaret.  But he also says he left Britain in 1966, eight years before the Lucan murder, and that he worked as a 'female impersonator' in Canada before travelling to India and meeting the Buddhist spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama.  In the documentary, Mr Bell says he was conceived 'at a magical ritual at Stonehenge', and that his biological father was a puppeteer who performed at Buckingham Palace for Princess Elizabeth (the late Queen) and her sister Princess Margaret.  His birth certificate names him as Derek Crowther, born in Islington, north London, in 1936, the son of a railway carriage cleaner.  At one point Mr Berriman, 57, is convinced his suspicions have been confirmed by artificial intelligence facial recognition technology which matches Mr Bell's features to those of Lord Lucan.  But analysis by a Home Office-approved team of recognition experts ruled him out in 2022. The documentary also showed investigative journalist Glen Campbell telling Mr Berriman he believes they have got it wrong, and Mr Bell's vehement denial that he is the missing peer.  The three-part documentary follows Mr Berriman as he reveals how he learnt he was adopted and that Ms Rivett was his biological mother.  Her battered body was discovered in a mail bag in the blood-stained basement of the Lucan home after his wife Lady Veronica Lucan ran into a nearby pub screaming that their nanny had been murdered.  Lucan's car was found abandoned, soaked in blood, in Newhaven, East Sussex.  An inquest jury later declared him the killer, but he has never been found.

4

Articles / Adoption: Welsh young people hope to break identity struggle taboo

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on November 02, 2024, 02:28:01 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-65858230

Adoption: Welsh young people hope to break identity struggle taboo

Published  12 June 2023

By Liz Clements
BBC Wales communities correspondent

"It's really difficult to know where I belong."

Mimi Woods, from Ammanford, Carmarthenshire, was adopted from Thailand at the age of three.  Over the years she has struggled with issues around identity and belonging, but wanted others to know they were not alone.  The 22-year-old said adoption was a "taboo subject" which "needs to be talked about more".

Mimi and other young Welsh adopted people have created a bilingual podcast episode for the National Adoption Service for Wales about their experiences featuring nine adopted people between the ages of 13 and 26.  Mimi has struggled with her mental health in the past, but said talking to "people who understand what I'm going through" was a huge help and the podcast was an opportunity to "help other people".

Moving from Thailand to Wales meant Mimi dealt with not only a culture change but struggled a lot with her identity.  "I would identify as Asian and I have a lot of connections with my culture, but also with Wales, I love everything about it. Rugby, cawl (soup or stew) all that.  When you look at me, I don't look Welsh. But I speak your language. It's really difficult to know where I belong, but I definitely feel like I belong in these groups."

Tackling common misconceptions around adoption was something discussed in the podcast.  She said people think adopted people are "these 'challenged' children and they grow up to have no jobs and they don't do anything with their lives and that's really not the case".

"I've got friends and family who support me and I'm like no other, just that I had a lot of trauma in my early years of life," she said.

Mimi believes people need to be educated so that adopted people are better supported and know they are not alone.

"I would've loved to have listened to other people's stories growing up," said Ellie-Rose Griffiths from Cardiff.

The 22-year-old said the adopted people bounced off each other while recording the podcast and it made her feel "understood".  The student paramedic said she felt very fortunate having such "amazing adoptive parents who are my parents. I wouldn't call them anything else".

She now wants to encourage other adopted people to share their stories in order for people to learn more about adoption.  "Once they started talking about their experiences and were there together supporting each other, you couldn't stop them," said Ruth Letten, manager of Connected, a service for children and young people by Adoption UK.

Ruth expressed how important it was for adopted people to share experiences to "legitimise how they feel and to help them understand that they are not on their own".

She said adoption has changed a lot over the years, moving on from a lack of support as adopted children became adults.  Ruth said modern adoption was about "placing the child and young person at the heart of everything".  "So it's making sure that we are listening to them and responding proactively to their voices and what they feel is important, rather than just assuming we know what's best."

Adopted people are now given information such as life story books which help them understand why they were placed for adoption so they can "understand their story, so it can become integrally part of who they are".

The youth worker said, for many of the young people, it was the opportunity "to shape and change things and to put things in place for younger adoptees".

5

General Discussion / Re: Devotions

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 31, 2024, 06:36:07 PM »

https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2024/03/25/gatekeeping-the-love-of-jesus?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8VdJgqYgKrotLsX9t1JQG_SXm-GdQDyBQA80wcPQkdRvfY8dSqahfjM2PbbESjTbUe-YNt6kvT92LCB8aJe677kacMeg&_hsmi=298116048&utm_content=298116048&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

Gatekeeping the Love of Jesus
March 25, 2024
by Stacy J. Lowe

“The leading priests and the teachers of religious law saw these wonderful miracles and heard even the children in the Temple shouting, ‘Praise God for the Son of David.’ But the leaders were indignant.” Matthew 21:15 (NLT)

Editor’s Note: Today’s devotion is part of a special series for Holy Week! From March 24 (Palm Sunday) to March 31 (Easter Sunday), each devotion will focus on the events leading up to Jesus’ resurrection. We pray these words will prepare your heart and mind for the celebration of our risen Savior.

Just one day prior, Jesus had entered the city of Jerusalem on a donkey’s back and had been received with much acclaim. But not by everyone. The chief priests and Pharisees had no desire to welcome Jesus. They wanted Him dead.  Why?

Among other things, Jesus claimed to be “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6a, NLT).

The only path to God. The religious leaders believed this to be blasphemous because the only path to God they knew was through keeping the Law. Jesus’ very existence threatened their authority and all the religious rules they loved to lord over other people.  Then we come to this day of Holy Week.  Jesus arrived at the temple and saw the outer courts filled with merchants selling sacrificial animals at prices only the wealthy could afford. Even worse, because the outer courts were the only spaces where gentiles (non-Jews) were allowed to enter and pray, all such opportunities for them to worship God were gone.  In His righteous anger, Jesus overturned the tables and drove the merchants out, declaring, “My Temple will be called a house of prayer” (Matthew 21:13, NLT).

Then we read:  “The blind and the lame came to him in the Temple, and he healed them. The leading priests and the teachers of religious law saw these wonderful miracles and heard even the children in the Temple shouting, ‘Praise God for the Son of David.’ But the leaders were indignant” (Matthew 21:14-15, NLT).

This moment in the temple was a visible representation of everything Jesus had come to do tear down every barrier that exists between us and God so that anyone could approach Him.  But even seeing the healing miracles Jesus performed, the leaders still didn’t get it. Rather than bending to the authority of Jesus, they chose to continue in their way. They were gatekeeping the sacred for purposes of their profit and benefit.  It’s here I pause and reflect: Have I been guilty of gatekeeping Jesus? Deciding (whether consciously or not) who is worthy of His love?

While I’ve never been accused of sacrifice price gouging, I wonder how many people I’ve written off as being “too far gone” for God to save them. How often have I looked the other way instead of acting with compassion? How many opportunities have I missed to remind someone they’re loved by the God of the universe?

How many times have my words or actions unintentionally reconstructed the very barriers Jesus came to demolish?

How many times have yours?

How many times have we decided we’re not enough and discounted God’s love for us?

May this day of Holy Week remind us the love of God is for everyone. No gatekeeping required.

6

Books / My Name Is Leon: Sir Lenny Henry brings moving adoption story to screen

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 26, 2024, 12:12:28 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-61730891

My Name Is Leon: Sir Lenny Henry brings moving adoption story to screen

10 June 2022
By Ian Youngs
Entertainment & arts reporter

When Sir Lenny Henry was narrating the audiobook version of Kit de Waal's novel My Name Is Leon, he had decided by lunchtime on the first day of recording that he wanted to make a TV version happen.  Six years later, the result is a 90-minute one-off drama that is broadcast on BBC Two on Friday. It's a heart-tugging story of a nine-year-old boy who's at the mercy of the foster care and adoption system along with his beloved baby brother.  "Often when you do an audiobook, it's like a deep dive because you're playing all the characters and you're doing the narration too," Sir Lenny says before a preview screening in Birmingham, where the story is set.

"I just found myself swept up in this kid's world. And I found myself really moved by his predicament, being a mixed race kid who's got a younger brother who's white with blue eyes, and the threat of being separated from his brother causing him to take certain actions."

Before she became an author, de Waal had worked in family law, served on adoption panels and was a magistrate. The character of Leon was "a sort of amalgam of lots of boys that I worked with in the care system", she says.

She went to meet Sir Lenny that lunchtime on that first day of the audiobook recording, and they got on famously.  The pair both grew up in the West Midlands Sir Lenny in Dudley and de Waal in Moseley. "She was a judge, I was on New Faces," the actor and comedian jokes, referring to the talent show that gave him his big break in 1975.

She gave her approval for his production company to make the TV adaptation, and he was determined that it should be shot in Birmingham.  In the past, shows set in the Midlands have often been filmed elsewhere, Sir Lenny says. But "this needed to happen and be filmed" in the city where it is set.

Both the book and the film are set in the early 1980s, and the drama has an impressive cast including Monica Dolan, Olivia Williams, Christopher Eccleston, Malachi Kirby and Sir Lenny himself. At its heart is the young Cole Martin, playing Leon.  The title character befriends some men from the Caribbean community on an allotment and they take him under their wing. But he also learns harsh lessons about racial prejudice and police brutality.  Sir Lenny grew up 15 years before the fictional Leon but could relate to some parts of his story. He often faced daily racism at school, but says he wishes he had found similar strong male mentors.  "Yeah, I was moved by it," he says of Leon's story. "And I did find that there were things that chimed with me."

The young Lenny also went through family upheaval of a different kind when he discovered at 11 that his dad was not his birth father.
Leon's birth dad is in prison, but the boy eventually finds a father figure in Tufty, played by Kirby, who won a Bafta in 2021 for Sir Steve McQueen's Small Axe.  "What's great about Leon is that he does eventually find people who are his people," Sir Lenny continues.

"Being of Caribbean heritage, I grew up in a house with reggae music and soul music and stuff, whereas Leon has been brought up in a predominantly white house. So when he hears reggae music for the first time, it blows his mind.  "And I love that in this story, you see a boy becoming culturally aware, and you see him eventually standing up for himself."

Reviews of the drama so far have been mixed, with The Financial Times calling it, external "an uplifting tale of foster care", but with political and domestic strands that occasionally "feel awkwardly stitched together".  The New Statesman said, external it is full of "ostentatiously heart-warming" performances, and that it "cannot bear, somehow, to deal with the consequences of the issues it is determined to raise".

De Waal says she didn't set out for the first book to have an explicit message. "But if people take anything away from it, it's that there are a lot of children in the care system that don't get adopted, and whenever possible, siblings should be kept together," she says.

"I worked on the adoption panel and, of necessity, siblings are split up all the time. It still happens today. It's a phenomenon of children going into the care system.  It's not always the wrong thing. But sometimes it's the wrong thing. And it's certainly an important facet of adoption, that siblings that are split up lose each other and feel that loss, as Leon does."

The suggestion in the story is that Leon does not find an adoptive family because he is not white like his brother.  Does de Waal still think about Leon and what he would be doing now? "

All the time," she replies. "He's a real character to me."

In fact, she first wrote Leon as an adult character, then filled in his backstory. That backstory eventually took over and her novel became just about his childhood making it a sort of prequel to the novel she had originally intended.  It worked, being nominated for the Desmond Elliott Prize, the Costa First Book Award and the British Books Awards after it was published in 2016.  She is now planning to publish the story of the adult Leon in a new book, set when he is 43, she reveals.  In the mean time, Sir Lenny hopes the TV drama will have the same effect on viewers as narrating the audiobook had on him. "I want it to be something that people will be moved by," he says.

"And if you can put yourself in Leon's shoes, you'll be thinking, that shouldn't have happened, that's still happening now, what can we do about it?"

7

Articles / Identical twin sisters separated at birth finally meet after 30 years only ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 24, 2024, 11:42:26 AM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13996337/twin-sisters-separated-birth-meet-decide-dont-like-other.html

Identical twin sisters separated at birth finally meet after 30 years only to decide they don't like each other

By Ed Holt

Published: 10:51, 24 October 2024 | Updated: 10:53, 24 October 2024

A pair of identical twin sisters who were separated at birth and by chance met online 30 years later have stopped speaking after they decided they don't like each other.  Zhang Li and Cheng Keke, from Henan, China, met on social media in 2021 after noticing how similar they both looked.  As they exchanged messages the ladies discovered, via a DNA test, that they were identical twins and their families admitted that they had been separated at birth.  The two reconnected and claimed they quickly felt an incredible sisterly connection. However, this would soon transform into a sibling rivalry.  Their story quickly went viral online in China and Li and Keke decided to use their fame and began an e-commerce business.  Over the next few years they worked together, however, their relationship was marked by frequent conflicts and disagreements.  Their relationship ultimately lasted only three years and as of now they haven't spoken in six months.  According to the slightly younger sister, Keke, whenever they live-streamed to promote their products, Li often left without notice, sometimes disappearing for two or three days at a time.  Keke said: 'She never said anything when she left, and I could never find her. That's not the kind of work attitude I like.'

The situation worsened one night when Li secretly moved all their shared belongings out of their rental apartment while Keke was away, leading to a major argument between them.  Although that dispute was resolved, ongoing tensions persisted.  Keke claims that she always had to cover the rent, meals, and other daily expenses whenever they travelled for live-streaming events.  This was despite her sister promising they would split costs equally, which never happened.  From Li's perspective, the two had very different personalities: she was straightforward, while her sister tended to bottle things up and engage in 'silent treatment.'  Li also blamed Keke for the failure of many of their live-streaming ventures, stating that over the years they had lost as much as 600,000 Chinese Yuan (£65,000).  She said: 'So I told her directly that I wouldn't be doing live-streaming with her anymore.'

After their failure in live-streaming, Li decided to open a physical store in her hometown of Dengfeng.  Keke travelled there to support her sister, but their relationship finally collapsed during a heated argument over the store's management and the amount of investment each had contributed.  The relationship between the sisters, already strained, finally broke down completely after yet another work-related fight in January 2023.  Li reportedly had an outburst and yelled at Keke, and although she later regretted it, Keke could not forgive her and never returned.  This incident six months ago was the last time the two sisters saw each other.

8

Articles / Forced adoption survivors disappointed at government response to inquiry

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 22, 2024, 05:53:15 PM »

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-10-22/wa-government-responds-to-forced-adoption-inquiry/104452142?fbclid=IwY2xjawGEtD5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHSlFn4C8pi3n3MPXEjy0KeCkYOFSb1ad1Idlg8Qh3qYrVBZz4TRtNzmA7g_aem_8f51APJ9eh6QdwPZ-MrNXQ

Forced adoption survivors disappointed at government response to inquiry

By Claire Moodie

Topic:Adoption

10h ago

In short:

The WA government has responded to a landmark report into forced adoptions in the state between 1939 until the early 1980s. Mothers whose babies were taken away, as well as people who were removed as newborns, gathered at Parliament House on Tuesday to witness the tabling.  The government said it supported the majority of the report's recommendations, but would give "further consideration" to 14 recommendations including the establishment of the crucial redress scheme for both mothers and adoptees.

Survivors of the so-called forced adoption era in Western Australia have expressed disappointment after the state government failed to commit to a financial redress scheme and end what they call the "ongoing secrecy" surrounding adoption.  Mothers whose babies were taken away from 1939 to the early 1980s, as well as people who were removed as newborns, gathered at Parliament House on Tuesday to witness the tabling of the government's response to a recent inquiry.  The inquiry's 470-page report took aim at both state government departments and private institutions, saying they "funnelled" unmarried mothers into adoption against their will.  It found the women were psychologically abused, coerced into the adoptions of their babies and many endured horrific treatment in private institutions.  The government said it supported the majority of the report's recommendations to address the on-going trauma faced by survivors, but would give "further consideration" to 14 recommendations, including a redress scheme for both mothers and adoptees.  Adoptee Jen McRae, who led the push for the inquiry, said she is stunned that the government can't yet make a firm commitment.  "The state government can totally afford redress for forced adoption survivors and for the stolen generation," she said.

"We can absolutely do the right thing for these people who've had their lives absolutely ruined by government policy."

The government also rejected a recommendation to notify all adopted persons not already aware of their adopted status, saying that it would have the potential to cause significant psychological harm and distress to individuals.  But Ms McRae said people have a right to know the truth. "It's absolutely a human right to know who you are and where you came from and the medical knowledge you need to know as you get older," she said.

The supported recommendations include setting up a forced adoption reference group to guide the improvement of mental health services, access to information and legislative changes.

The tabling of the response comes 14 years after WA became the first state in the country to apologise for the forced adoption practices of last century.

'It's impacted every facet of my life'

At an event to mark the anniversary yesterday, mother Louise Kirk, who became pregnant at 16 and was coerced into signing adoption papers, said redress was long overdue to properly acknowledge the severe lifelong harm caused by the practice.

"Saying sorry is wonderful but you know what's it's like someone says sorry to you prove it, show me you are sorry, show me in your actions. Actions speak louder than words," she said.

"We were just children, we were pregnant children and we had a baby and that was our sin and the punishment has continued.  It's impacted every facet of my life, starting with the total removal of self esteem."

Dire financial position

For 78-year-old Lynne Devine, Tuesday's announcement comes after 40 years of campaigning for justice.  She has been involved in every small step of progress, including a 2013 national apology by Julia Gillard.  Ms Devine said many mothers had already passed away,  but those that remained needed financial help.  "There are very many women in dire straits who've lost a child and have never really recovered and have never been able to pick their lives up. Now they're trying to live on an old age pension and they've got nothing behind them," Ms Devine said.

The report's 39 recommendations included that institutions run by Ngala, the Salvation Army and the Sisters of Mercy participate in a redress scheme.  In February, the Victorian government introduced the first redress scheme for mothers in the country.  It expects more than 3,000 women who were separated from their infants at birth to apply for the $138 million program, which includes access to counselling and psychological support and an individual apology process.  Speaking in  the WA state parliament, Minister for Child Protection, Sabine Winton, said a redress program would be considered.  "The Cook Government recognises that for many people redress signifies an important step in the formal recognition of their experience, to hold responsible agencies and the institutions to account and to support healing," she said.

"The required work is currently being undertaken to comprehensively consider a redress scheme for WA."

9

General Discussion / Re: Devotions

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 22, 2024, 05:20:18 PM »

https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2024/03/12/what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_5Rb6t-3XOfUkw2A__k1cVpZ4M91z8yVpqqEOm8v0gHQHw-SrFOaQsa84-0qOPUHhpbdIHhkHy2WZj0apKnmVp8JVGEg&_hsmi=295276087&utm_content=295276087&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do
March 12, 2024
by Nicki Koziarz

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17 (ESV)

A few months ago, after five persistent years, our family welcomed three boys through international adoption.  The wait was hard, brutal at times, and filled with complications that caused multiple delays. It seemed so unfair to everyone involved, especially the boys.    One of our boys has a significant medical issue, and the older he grew, the more complicated the healing process would be. Each year that passed, we held that reality.  Adopting older children can be challenging, so we prepared our minds with books, videos, podcasts and therapy. We did the work.  We prepared our home, finances and lives to add three more children to the mix. We did everything we could to get ready.  But sometimes, no matter how much you prepare for something, you cannot prepare for what the thing will actually be like. Which is why, after a long, sleepless week of navigating a surgery and complicated recovery process with our son, I found myself on the bathroom floor, crying and asking, “What do I do now?”

Nothing was like we thought it would be.  Things were way more complicated than we were prepared for.  I was getting to the point where I felt like I was in way over my head.  Maybe you’ve been there too. The email that leaves you wordless, the text update you couldn’t have imagined, or the phone call that leaves your emotions tangled in a knot. Sometimes when we’re asking the question, What do I do now? we need something tangible to hold on to.  That day, I recalled James 3:17. And I knew I had a choice: Have a pity party or declare the power of God’s wisdom. I choose the latter.  I began making biblical declarations over my situation, and instead of asking God why, I shifted to, What does this mean?

I proclaimed James 3:17 over this situation, and within a few hours, I had some clarity on what our next steps could be.  But more than anything, my soul had peace. This is the promise James 3:17 offers us when we choose to seek wisdom from above:  “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

In this season, I’m learning to rely on the wisdom of God. He is the only One who sees the entire picture. He knows the things I don’t. He understands things doctors cannot.  Yes, sometimes I find myself teetering to a place where the bathroom floor beckons me back. I am human, and so are you. No one expects you to walk through hard times in perfection.  But choose to stay in the process of seeking godly wisdom, and somehow, with the power of God, you’ll know what to do when you don’t know what to do.

10

Articles / Survivor demand justice for those affected by Mother and Baby Homes

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 18, 2024, 04:13:27 PM »

https://www.impartialreporter.com/news/24655681.survivor-demand-justice-affected-mother-baby-homes/?ref=twtrec&fbclid=IwY2xjawF_SdNleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHXC6ql4Ydut4ClHIti5wMGK0u3mUwoEcWBOcDamfRz8ZVnESxniEtvNpWA_aem_Kr1didb8M3Un9CJYLAkCPA

Survivor demand justice for those affected by Mother and Baby Homes
17th October

“A cold place with an itchy blanket” is how one survivor of a mother-and-baby home described the place where she was born and separated from her mother.

Mechelle Dillon is one of those from this area who is leading the call for justice for thousands of women and children impacted by Northern Ireland'smother-and-baby homes, Magdalene Laundries, and Workhouses.  Mrs. Dillon who lives outside Omagh was born in 1969 in Daisyhill Hospital in Newry after her mother, Brenda was placed in Marianvale Mother and Baby Home at the age of 21 before they were separated.  Mechelle is the Secretary of the Birth Mothers and Their Children for Justice Northern Ireland group which was founded in 2013, the group seeks to get justice for all of those impacted by institutions such as mother-and-baby homes.  The Executive Office of Northern Ireland is currently working toward a statutory Public Inquiry and Financial Redress Scheme for those impacted by mother-and-baby homes, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses.   She said: “We speak for the dead as well as the living, the dead don’t have a voice anymore. They were failed in life and they can’t be failed in death either.”

The scale is large and the group believes that there are survivors everywhere.  She said: “If you went out and spoke to people about this, every person you speak to would know someone who has been affected or was adopted. Nearly every other house would know someone.”
 
Citing a report from Queen's University, Belfast, she said: “At least 10,500 women and young girls, some as young as the age of 12, had passed through the homes and institutions.”

Other figures suggest there could be as many as 13,500 women impacted by the homes.  Reflecting on the scale of the institutions, Mechelle noted that the institutions were run on “both sides of the community” and there were around a dozen in Northern Ireland.  However, there were none in the Fermanagh and Omagh area.  Reflecting on the experience of her family, she said: “We call them homes, but they wouldn't really be homes, homes are somewhere nice, warm and comfortable, these were called cold places with itchy blankets".

She added: "I was in the home with my mother for about six weeks, until my mother then was passed on back home again, and I was placed into foster care and children's homes.  In and out, in and out.  Eventually, my mother met somebody, and he said that he would take her to England and get married so that she could get me back. He wasn't the father.   I was about two when she got me back."

Brenda, Mechelle's mother has since died and she described her death as another trauma following their separation at birth.  She said she is "determined" to get justice for anyone who has been affected, particularly those living within Fermanagh and Omagh.  "We want to try and reach out to any older generations, let them know that there's an inquiry happening and that anyone is that's been affected is entitled to their justice so that there's no more shame or stigma", she said.

Noting there is a cross-Border element to how the institutions were run, Mechelle said: “There were a lot of women who taken from the north to the south to have their babies.  hey wouldn't be included on this because it's only if you had your baby [or were born] in the North.   Anyone that had their baby in the South needs to contact the commission in the Republic.”

Fermanagh and Omagh District Council responded to the Executive Offices consultation on behalf of survivors living is the district.  In its response, the Council expressed its disappointment at the length of time taken for an Inquiry and Redress Scheme to take place, with 34 years having passed since the last mother-and-baby home closed.  The Council states that women and children impacted by these institutions, including those in very rural areas within Fermanagh and Omagh, must receive fair, generous and sincere justice promptly and effectively.  It also puts forward a number of recommendations on appropriate acts of remembrance, memorialisation and acknowledgement.  The Council’s response also states that an apology is needed from government and the organisations that ran those institutions.  The response also calls for the government and relevant organisations to admit that pregnant women should have had the right to give birth to and care for their baby, and that the stigma and shame for these women needs to be removed and replaced with the compassion they were denied.  Birth Mothers and their Children for Justice are encouraging people to contact the enquiry and other relevant bodies if they have been affected by institutions such as mother-and-baby homes, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses.

You can contact the Birth Mothers and their Children for justice via birthmothersforjustice.n.i@hotmail.com or 07513874371.