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Articles / Boy's adoption overturned after mum dates prisoner

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on May 12, 2026, 11:35:14 AM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx21q2d2y3ro

Boy's adoption overturned after mum dates prisoner

Jonny Manning
North East and Cumbria

Published 11 May 2026

A two-year-old boy's adoption has been overturned after his adoptive mother failed to disclose she was in a relationship with an inmate at the prison where she worked.  In the Court of Appeal ruling, Lord Justice Peter Jackson said the boy was formally adopted by a married couple in Northumberland in November 2025.  However, the child's former social workers were recently told his adoptive father had moved out in October and his mother had begun a new relationship.  Barristers acting for Gateshead Council said the adoption was "unfair to the child" as it had been based on "mistaken" information.  The judge said the prisoner was in custody for drug offences and had previous convictions for battery and possession of weapons.  Jackson said the prisoner had also been accused of child sex offences, but no action was taken against him.  He was released in March but was returned to prison in April for breaching his licence conditions, after he was arrested over allegations of threatening behaviour and criminal damage at the adoptive mother's home, the judge said.

Adoption 'errors'

Social workers also learned the woman was caring for the prisoner's XL bully dog and had twice taken the child to visit the prisoner, who had begun referring to him as his "stepson".  The boy was removed from the mother's care in March and was placed with his adoptive father, before Gateshead Council sought to have the adoption overturned.  Neither his adoptive or birth parents attended the hearing.  His adoptive mother had previously told the council she did not want "any further involvement" with the child. Jackson said the boy had received a "high standard of care" from his adoptive parents, who social workers said loved him "unconditionally".  "The consequence of each of these errors was that the court acted on a fundamentally mistaken basis," he said.

Jackson said the adoption decision was not the fault of the original family court judge, who made it based on the information before her at the time.  The case will return to the family court to be dealt with at a later date.

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Articles / Church of England expected to formally apologise for its role in forced ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on May 08, 2026, 11:52:09 AM »

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/09/church-of-england-formal-apology-forced-adoptions

Church of England expected to formally apologise for its role in forced adoptions

Survivors of UK’s mother and baby home scandal welcome news after long campaign for recognition

The Church of England is expected to make a formal apology for its role in forced adoptions and the UK’s mother and baby home scandal.  Survivors of the scandal in which hundreds of thousands of children were forcibly separated from their mothers have welcomed the news after years of campaigning for recognition.  The church ran and was linked to scores of institutions across the country where unmarried pregnant women were sent to have babies in secret in the postwar era before the infants were handed over to married couples, who in some cases had made donations to “moral welfare” organisations involved.  Anglican mother and baby homes were part of a network of properties nationwide, including homes run by the Catholic church and the Salvation Army, which worked alongside statutory agencies. Women and children faced abuse and neglect in the system, but the Westminster government has never formally apologised for its role.  The BBC reports that an “early draft” of an apology from the Church of England said: “We acknowledge the lifelong impact of these experiences and the part the church played in a system shaped by attitudes and behaviours that we now recognise as harmful. For the pain and trauma experienced and still carried by many women and children in church-affiliated mother and baby homes, we are deeply sorry”.

A 2021 parliamentary inquiry found there were 185,000 adoptions involving unmarried mothers in England and Wales between 1949 and 1973 alone and that the state was ultimately responsible for the suffering caused by public institutions and employees involved.  Because the last mother and baby homes closed in the late 1980s and records are incomplete, campaigners say many more people were affected.  Phil Frampton, a writer and campaigner from Manchester, was born in an Anglican institution in 1953 because his parents had been in a mixed heritage relationship. His Nigerian father, a mining engineering researcher, was removed from the country after it became known, while his white British mother, a grammar school teacher from Birmingham, was sent to the Rosemundy mother and baby home in St Agnes, Cornwall.  Frampton said: “A lot of survivors will be delighted. What’s coming is a big victory after all the campaigning people have done over the last 20 years providing that the wording is not mealy-mouthed and designed to protect the church. It will not be good enough for the church to say they were guided by the morality of they time they were supposed to set the morality of the time and they did that by their actions.  The church and state were the principal supporters of forced adoptions and they should be compensating all the survivors for the hell they put them through. If the church is fully open on this, under the new archbishop of Canterbury, then this is part of the pressure on the UK government to apologise. The UK is way behind in making an apology and providing access to records for survivors to find their children and parents, to bring closure and new beginnings.”

Research by Dr Michael Lambert of Lancaster University has indicated the use of the lactation-suppressing drug diethylstilbestrol, which has been linked to an increased risk of cancers, in some unmarried mothers’ homes, while an ITV investigation has revealed unmarked graves across England contain the bodies of babies who did not survive.  Giving evidence to the education select committee last month, the children and families minister, Josh MacAlister, acknowledged that the UK state “had a role” in historical forced adoptions and said the case for a formal apology was “being actively considered”.  The governments of Ireland, Scotland and Wales have all previously issued apologies, as have the Salvation Army and the head of the Catholic church in England and Wales.

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Articles / Supreme Court rejects bid to revoke adoption of sisters

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on May 04, 2026, 06:42:44 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4glkwww345o

Supreme Court rejects bid to revoke adoption of sisters

Tom Symonds, Amy Walker and Freya Scott-Turner

Published 22 April 2026

A woman has lost an attempt to undo her adoption of two sisters after judges said to do so would go against the long held principle that adoption is "final and permanent".  The woman made clear in her submission that she had not rejected the children, who are now 18 and 19 and have not been named.  She said she brought the case because of their wishes after they resumed contact with their birth mother, who also supported the application at the UK Supreme Court.  Child protection experts were concerned that if the court had ruled in favour of ending the adoption, it would have destabilised the adoption system itself and made it harder to find potential adopters.  The judges said the state should continue to have the power to decide matters of adoption.  "Parens patriae" or "father of the people" powers, existed "to secure a child's protection and safety from serious harm where there is no adequate mechanism available", they said.

The ruling at the UK's highest court, external said adoption should be "permanent and irrevocable" except in rare cases where an adoption decision had been wrongly taken.  The two children, known as X and Y, had made their own decision to move back in with their birth mother.  The court decided that allowing the appeal would have cut across "detailed and comprehensive" laws passed by parliament to protect children.  The local authority supported the application to revoke the adoption order in respect of Y but not X, while the Department for Education (DfE) also lodged a written case arguing that adoption orders could only be revoked in highly exceptional circumstances.  It said that allowing them to be revoked "based simply on welfare" could undermine their permanency.  "It would leave adopters, birth parents and, perhaps most significantly, children in a state of uncertainty," the DfE's written submission said.

"That would inevitably have an impact on the recruitment of prospective adopters and could either make adopters less committed to their adopted children if difficulties arise or conversely less willing to support ongoing contact with birth families as a consequence."

The children's adoptive mother brought the case because of the children's "wishes and feelings" about the breakdown of the adoption, according to written submissions to the court.  She felt they had been forced to live a "legal fiction", despite the fact their "de facto parent" was again their birth mother.  "This is not because [the adoptive mother] has rejected the children. Her appeal is driven by their welfare alone" the submission says.

The girls were adopted in 2012 aged four and five after a period in foster care but later resumed contact with their mother, which was supported by their adoptive mother.  In 2021, they left their adoptive mother and moved to live with their birth mother. One sister later decided to live with her father.  In February 2023, the local authority issued care proceedings on the basis that the girls were "beyond parental control" and conferred parental responsibility on to their birth parents.  In April 2023, the adoptive mother made an application in the High Court seeking revocation of the adoption order.  A judge then found the court had no power to revoke the adoption orders and refused the application, but the judge made orders allowing both girls to change their surnames to that of their birth mother.  Michael Wells-Greco from legal firm Charles Russell Speechlys which specialises in family law, but was not involved in this case said there was "no easy legal solution where an adoption later breaks down" but the Supreme Court has "now made it clear that adoption is meant to be permanent".

He said: "The court also stressed that, in law, an adopted child is treated no differently from a child born to their parents and just as parenthood cannot be undone in those cases, adoption cannot simply be reversed."

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Articles / Former teacher accused of sexually assaulting and murdering the baby he was ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on April 21, 2026, 06:09:54 PM »

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-14817565/teacher-accused-sexually-assaulting-murdering-baby-adopt-court.html

Former teacher accused of sexually assaulting and murdering the baby he was trying to adopt appears in court

By SAM LAWLEY, NEWS REPORTER

Published: 17:09, 16 June 2025 | Updated: 17:09, 16 June 2025

A former teacher accused of sexually assaulting and murdering the baby he was trying to adopt has appeared in court.  Jamie Varley, 36, was in the process of adopting 13-month-old Preston Davey in 2023 along with co-accused John McGowan-Fazakerley, 31, who also appeared in the dock at Preston Crown Court on Monday.   Members of the child's family sat yards away in the public gallery alongside police officers, one woman in tears as she looked over at the defendants.  Varley is accused of murder, manslaughter, two counts of assault by penetration of a child, five counts of child cruelty, one count of inflicting grievous bodily harm, and one count of sexual assault of a child.  He is further accused of 10 counts of taking indecent photographs of a child, one count of distributing indecent photographs of a child, two counts of possessing indecent pseudo images of a child, and one count of possession of an extreme pornographic image.  McGowan-Fazakerley is charged with allowing the death of a child, as well as two counts of child cruelty and one count of sexual assault of a child.  All the charges against both men, who lived in Grimsargh, near Preston, span between March and July of 2023, and relate to Preston Davey.  Judge Robert Altham set the date for the trial of both men as April 14, 2026. It is estimated to last up to eight weeks.  He remanded both defendants, who spoke only to confirm their names, in custody to next appear for a plea hearing on October 13.  Judge Robert Altham, at the beginning of a 30-minute hearing dealing with administrative matters, said: 'I gather there are members of Preston's family here. They are most welcome.'

A police investigation first began after officers were called to Blackpool Victoria Hospital at 7.15pm on July 27, 2023 after the baby was brought in unresponsive. Preston was pronounced dead a short time later.  Varley was suspended as teacher at South Shore Academy, Blackpool, when he was arrested in 2023, the Cidari Multi Academy Trust, which now runs the school, said.

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Articles / Man reunited with mum decades after adoption

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on April 04, 2026, 02:30:05 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckgz8k07lr1o

Man reunited with mum decades after adoption

Marcus Boothe
West of England

Published 2 April 2026

A man who was adopted from Vietnam and recently travelled thousands of miles back there to meet his birth mother said the journey helped him understand "the missing piece of the puzzle" in his life.  Ike Robin, 27, from Bath, was adopted when he was six months old, and raised in Brighton with his three adopted sisters from China.  Throughout his life, Ike said he had questions about his heritage and identity and wanted to know how different life would be if he had not been adopted.  He said he has suffered from 'imposter syndrome', adding he feels "lucky" but there are moments he feels "this was not the life I was meant to have".

Ike was born with two holes in his heart and severely malnourished. He said he owes his life to his adoptive family.  Now working as a nanny, Ike said he always knew he was adopted, but the questions around where he came from grew stronger as he got older.  "When I was younger, being adopted didn't mean too much to me," he said. "As I got older, I questioned more what my life would have looked like if I wasn't adopted."

At the end of 2025, he travelled across Vietnam with his girlfriend and adoptive parents before finally meeting his birth mother for the first time in nearly three decades.  "I didn't know what I was meant to feel, because this is my mum, but she's also a stranger," he said.

When she arrived, Ike said he recognised her immediately.  "I just instantly knew who my mum was," he said. "It was an instinctive feeling."

At his birth mother's request, her identity is not being revealed.  Ike expected to only meet his biological mother, but was instead greeted by his siblings, cousins and grandmother.  Psychotherapist Kimberly Fuller said his experience reflects the complex identity questions many internationally adopted people can face in adulthood.  She said adopted children can struggle with "identity and a sense of belonging", particularly as they reach adolescence and later life.  "For some children they can kind of blend in with their families and people don't necessarily know that they're adopted, and they can hide that part of their identity.  However if it's a transracial adoption it's really hard to do that from the outset, you're already different and then there's an added obvious difference in that you look different to your family," she said.

That can mean people ask questions without considering how that feels or how that could be received, Fuller added.

She explained children can feel disconnected not only from their birth family but also from their culture, language and visible identity.  Fuller also said adoptees can experience conflicting emotions, including gratitude for the life they have been given while also grieving what has been lost.  For Ike's adoptive mother, the reunion was emotional but not threatening.  "I never thought that I was his only mother," Julia Fleming said. "She's his mum, and I'm his mum."

She said the family had always tried to keep their children connected to their heritage, and had supported contact with Ike's birth mother since he was seven.  Ike said the reunion was not about blame, but understanding.  "The main message I wanted to get across was that I don't have any bad feelings towards her," he said. "This can be the start of a new beautiful journey."

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Articles / 'I was taken from my mum while she was unconscious'

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on April 02, 2026, 06:45:46 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdxd2ql0jn2o

'I was taken from my mum while she was unconscious'

Maisie Lillywhite, West of England and Ross Pollard, Somerset

Published 29 March 2026

A man who is believed to have been put up for adoption while his birth mother was still unconscious has backed calls for the UK government to apologise for forced adoptions.  Gare MacQuarrie met his birth mother in Scotland for the first time in February. He only began searching for her when Nicola Sturgeon apologised to those affected as it made him "change his opinion" of his birth mother.  A report published on Friday by Parliament's cross-party Education Committee said the government must apologise to all those affected by historical forced adoption.  A government spokesperson said: "This abhorrent practice should never have taken place and our deepest sympathies are with all those affected."

About 250,000 women in Britain were coerced into handing over their babies in the 1950s, 60s, and 70s because they were unmarried.  MacQuarrie, who was born in Scotland but lives in Somerset, said he knew he was adopted "from as early as I can remember" because of his adoptive parents' honesty but finally understood when he was a teenager.

Following Sturgeon's apology, MacQuarrie decided to start looking for his birth mother but said it was not an easy journey.  He was helped by Birthlink, a Scottish adoption charity which specialises in reconnecting families affected by adoption.

'The same lie'

Shortly before Christmas 2025, he found out his mother's birth name and they spoke on the phone for the first time.  "We both got told the same lie, that all our records were on paper and they got destroyed in a flood which seems a bit coincidental to me," MacQuarrie said.

In February, he met her.  While MacQuarrie is in contact with his mother and three siblings who he had no idea about the circumstances of his adoption remain slightly unclear.  "I obviously know absolutely nothing about that, only what I've been told," MacQuarrie, who is in his 60s, said of his adoption.

"She said she was in hospital in plaster and social services said: 'You can't go back to that environment.'  That was the end of the matter because you can't argue with them.  She wasn't even conscious. She hadn't come round from the anaesthetic for giving birth, is what she said.  And who am I to argue with her? At least I know where I came from. I don't really need to know the rest of it."

On Friday, the BBC covered the story of Vik Fielder, who said her mum, then 18, "desperately" tried to keep her after giving birth but she was forcibly put up for adoption.

'A lot happier'

MacQuarrie added Sturgeon's apology made him realise his mum, now in her 80s, "might not have had a choice in the matter".

He said in the last few weeks, since meeting his birth mother, he felt "a lot happier", but thought more could be done to help others who were in his past situation.  "This took about seven or eight years to do. I would like to think that other people will change their minds on what their actual circumstances were because they might not have had a choice in the matter and they should have had," he said.

"Adoption is a great thing for some people, and it would be a lot easier, I think, for children, if they could keep in contact with the people they're supposed to be with.  I know it doesn't always work out that way, but you should have the right to at least know where you come from."

A government spokesperson said the issue of forced adoption was taken "very seriously" and the government would "continue to engage with those affected to provide support".

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Articles / Sadistic lesbian foster moms made boy, 12, wear soaking wetsuit and joked....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on March 31, 2026, 04:36:34 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/crime-desk/article-15691433/hamber-cooney-toronto-foster-murder-trial.html

Sadistic lesbian foster moms made boy, 12, wear soaking wetsuit and joked 'Shiver, shiver dumb f**k' before his horrific death, murder trial hears

    GRAPHIC CONTENT WARNING

By JACK TOLEDO

Published: 15:44, 30 March 2026 | Updated: 16:52, 30 March 2026

Two lesbian foster moms tortured a 12-year-old boy by forcing him to wear a soaking wetsuit as they mocked him in gut-wrenching messages before he was tragically found dead, prosecutors claim.  The disturbing claims about the death of the Canadian child, identified only as LL, have come to light during the murder trial of Becky Hamber, 44, and 46-year-old Brandy Cooney.  LL, who died on December 21, 2022, was found soaking wet, unresponsive, and emaciated in the basement of the couple's Toronto-area home before being pronounced dead at the hospital, the court was told.  Attorneys finished their closing arguments on Friday, as both women have denied charges of first-degree murder, unlawful confinement, and assault with a weapon, according to Law & Crime.  Prosecutors used their final remarks to detail how the women allegedly starved LL and his younger brother, who has been identified as JL, and forced them to wear wetsuits and helmets.  The foster mothers, who were in the process of adopting the boys, did it because they 'hated' the boys, attorneys told the court.  Messages between the women presented by the prosecutors showed the sick duo allegedly say: 'Shiver, shiver dumb f**k.'

Additionally, prosecutors claimed the women suggested that if the young boy wanted to stay warm, he would need to exercise.  Prosecutor Monica MacKenzie said that the women knew the consequences of their abuse after Cooney sent Hamber a worried text that the boy was going to die.  'Unfortunately, my thoughts [are] he is suddenly going to die, and I'm going to jail,' Cooney allegedly wrote.

Defense lawyers argued that the wetsuits and helmets were in the boys' best interests to prevent them from hurting themselves and having accidents around the house.  Attorneys for the couple also mentioned that social workers never questioned the mother's methods and did not raise concerns.  However, earlier in the trial, social worker Faisel Modhi claimed that LL slept on a tiny cot that was frequently covered by vomit.  Modhi said Cooney's father, who lived with the couple, informed him that the boy's bedspace was not washed other than being cleaned up with a wipe.  Cooney and Hamber told Modhi that on the day of his death, the child had largely been by himself other than at a point when he threw up his breakfast and lunch, according to Modhi's testimony.  The pair told Modhi that their prospective son had an eating disorder and regurgitated his food.  'They admitted [he] was 48 pounds,' Modhi said to the court. 'But stated it was because he would throw up food, chew it again, and lick it off the floor.'

Modhi added that the couple would direct LL to do yoga poses or walk around his basement room as he agonized.  Footage of the boy's room was shown in court, with a voice said to belong to Hamber heard telling him to 'lay down because he was being disrespectful.'

Cooney told Modhi she took LL's blanket away from him later that day and instructed the child to 'calm down', the social worker said.  The next time she checked, LL was unresponsive and with 'vomit everywhere,' the Ontario court was told.  The lesbian couple then called 911, Modhi testified, but it was too late.  Previously in the trial, the prosecution also showed a video of JL's interview with police in September 2023, when he told them that Children's Aid Society workers who visited the home never saw what went on.  He said Hamber and Cooney dressed him in normal clothing during the visits.  JL also echoed claims that he and his brother were forced to wear hockey helmets and wetsuits for hours on end.  He alleged that the foster moms would lock him and his brother in their rooms at night while constantly monitoring their behavior with cameras.  JL claimed in court that his potential adoptive parents would often ban him from speaking for days at a time.  The boys first moved into the couple's home in 2017, but JL testified in November that the couple quickly separated them from playing together because 'sometimes we'd argue'.

Once the couple began homeschooling them in 2020 after COVID-19 hit, JL said he began seeing his brother less often despite living in the same house.  Cooney and Hamber's fate will be decided by Justice Clayton Conlan.  A short update on the case is expected on April 24, and Justice Conlan may inform the court when he expects to have a decision.

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Articles / 'Mum took own life after a forced adoption now I want an apology'

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on March 28, 2026, 03:50:27 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cpwj2nrnwwyo

'Mum took own life after a forced adoption now I want an apology'

Chloe Harcombe, Harriet Robinson and Madeleine Ware, West of England
Published 27 March 2026

Vik Fielder's unmarried 18-year-old mother "desperately" tried to keep her baby after giving birth in 1971. But like 250,000 other British women, she was forced to give her child up for adoption. Twenty years later, she took her own life, "which was directly linked to losing her daughter".

Now, Fielder is backing fresh calls for a formal apology from the government. The 54-year-old said it would be the "first step" towards healing the trauma felt by survivors.  Following decades of calls for action, the Education Select Committee has recommended the government provides a formal apology and begins working with survivors.  Fielder said this would "go a long way towards acknowledging the fact that there was harm done".

The government said its "deepest sympathies" were with all those affected and it was "actively considering" an apology.

    If you have been affected by the content in this article, support and information can be found on the BBC's Action Line.

Fielder, a veteran who now lives on the Quantocks in Somerset, is one of an estimated 250,000 women who were affected by forced adoptions in Britain in the 1950s, 60s and 70s.  Fielder said her mum "had no other choice" other than to give her up "and as a result of that she was dead by the time she was 38".

After reading her adoption files, she said: "It's quite heartbreaking to see the letters that go from the adoption agency to her asking her to sign her rights away knowing that she was desperately trying to find somewhere to live so she could keep me.  I had two hits from [a genealogy website] and straight away one of them got back to me and said 'I know exactly who you are, can I phone you?'  Then she told me that unfortunately my mother had passed away in 1992.  She was only 38 and it was directly because of having to give me up.  We never got a chance to meet, I never got the chance to meet my father."

She also discovered she had a sister who lived lived 40 miles (64km) from her home.  "We didn't know about each other for 50 years, that hurts because it's a relationship that I could've had with her, it's a relationship that my children could have had with their cousins which we could never get back," she added.

Fielder, who was adopted at seven days old, said it took four years for her to receive appropriate mental health treatment for issues linked to her adoption.  Being a veteran under the Armed Forces, she could have had her therapy fast-tracked, but decided it would have been "wrong because it wasn't connected to my military service".

She would like to see the same fast-tracked care given to adoptees and birth parents.  "I think an apology will go a long way towards acknowledging the fact that there was harm done," said Fielder, adding that this would make it easier for those affected to access mental health support.

The adoptee said she would also like people like her to have a marker on their medical records because having to repeat her background to medical professionals "is very, very triggering".

She said giving evidence and telling her story repeatedly had also been "exhausting".  Helen Hayes MP, chair of the committee, said: "Survivors have suffered for far too long. They simply want to move on with their lives.  "A formal apology is an essential step towards delivering the peace survivors deserve."

In the report published on Friday, the Education Select Committee recommended the government must provide an "unqualified formal apology" to all those affected by forced adoption in the UK.  The cross-party committee said ministers should provide an initial commitment to apologise, begin working with survivor groups, and commit publicly to a clear timetable for developing and issuing its apology.  Fielder said the report reflected a lot of the recommendations made by the Adult Adoptee Movement (AMM), a support group she is a member of and which has been campaigning for a formal apology from the government.  "It's the first step towards community healing, both communities, because there's a lot of guilt and shame involved in adoption and I think I can see the apology as a way of lifting that, particularly for the mothers," she said.

'Unimaginable trauma'

Hayes described hearing the evidence from survivors as "one of the most moving" days she had experienced in Parliament.  She said historical forced adoption caused "unimaginable trauma for multiple generations of women and profound, often devastating impacts for their children".

In a statement, the AMM said it welcomed the report and that an apology was "clearly overdue".  A spokesperson said: "Testimony from survivors and expert witnesses lays bare the shocking treatment experienced by both mothers and adoptees.  The system that enabled this abuse was funded and facilitated by the state.  We call on the government to engage with survivors to implement the report's recommendations."

A government spokesperson said the "abhorrent practice" should never have taken place.  Our deepest sympathies are with all those affected.  We take this issue extremely seriously and continue to engage with those affected to provide support," they added.

9

Articles / Andrew Pierce's 'hard' mission to find his birth mum

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on March 14, 2026, 11:59:00 AM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cyee1dnp1r6o

Andrew Pierce's 'hard' mission to find his birth mum

Maisie Lillywhite, BBC News, West of England and Nicky Price, BBC Radio Gloucestershire
Published 18 June 2024

Broadcaster Andrew Pierce said meeting his birth mother 45 years after she gave him up for adoption was "cathartic, but hard".  The GB News presenter was left at an orphanage in Cheltenham when he was just five weeks old, and was put up for adoption aged three.  He decided to track down his birth mother, the late Margaret Connolly, in the Noughties, and eventually found her in Birmingham.  Despite Mrs Connolly refusing to see Pierce again after their first meeting when she only "talked about herself" the journalist said it was "mission accomplished".  Pierce has written about his upbringing in a book called "Finding Margaret" that was released in May.  He was adopted by a "lovely couple", Betty and George Pierce, who gave him a "very happy" childhood in Swindon.  Pierce said he had considered tracking down his birth mother for decades before finally biting the bullet "due to fears he was running out of time".

'Highly unusual'

"As I got older and closer to my 50th, I would think, 'Is she thinking about me on every birthday?'" Pierce, now in his 60s, told BBC Radio Gloucestershire.

"I delayed [finding her] because I agonised over my mum, who'd adopted me, because I didn't want to do anything she could construe as she'd let me down, that she hadn't given me enough love.  "When I did track her down, I found all sorts of surprises."

Pierce initially assumed his birth mother had been in her late teens when he was born. He later found out she gave birth to him weeks before her 35th birthday something considered "highly unusual" in 1961.  The journey to finding Mrs Connolly was not easy, as she gave him no middle name when she put Pierce up for adoption.  Neither could she be traced through her address at the time, as the nursing accommodation she was living in had "long gone".  But Pierce's friend, journalist and Loose Women panellist, Jane Moore, managed to track his birth mother down through her farming roots.  Mrs Connolly was born into an Irish farming family and Moore found her through a sheep association in County Mayo.

'Denied' her identity

After discovering his birth mother was living in Birmingham, Pierce got in touch with social services for advice on the best way of approaching her.  He eventually sent a "friendly female face" to her door, while he waited in a taxi around the corner, so she did not feel overwhelmed. When initially approached by Pierce's friend, Amanda Platell, Mrs Connolly "emphatically denied" it was her.  Moore instructed the pair to go back 45 minutes later and Pierce's birth mother told Ms Platell she had been "praying" he would return, and then confirmed she was his mother.  "It was an extraordinary moment," Pierce said.

"We arranged to meet in BHS. She put her best scarf on, she radiated Irish warmth.  "But the funny thing is, in that hour together, she did not ask me a single question."

Pierce said his birth mother did not ask "about me, my life, my adoptive parents".

"She talked a lot about her life with her husband and her children, who are my half-siblings, but [her husband] is of no relevance to me," Pierce said.

"I just thought, 'Why is she not talking about me or asking anything? Is it too painful for her?"

Pierce asked her a series of questions about the orphanage, his birth father, how she visited him, and she answered each with: "I can't remember".

'She hadn't asked'

"She smiled a lot, she held my hand and said she was so happy that I was okay but she didn't ask me what I did for a living," Pierce said.

"Amanda was with me but cleared off as soon as we got to BHS. When she came back, she said 'Margaret, you must be so proud to know your son is a successful journalist.  "Margaret said, 'Is he now?'. She hadn't asked and I hadn't told her."

She kissed Pierce on the lips and told him he had "made her life". When Pierce asked if she would like to meet again, she agreed, saying she might be able to give him "answers".  But Pierce was stood up by his birth mother every time he subsequently arranged to meet her. He eventually ended up seeing her again when she was admitted to a care home.  She died in 2021, aged 94.  Pierce travelled to Ireland to uncover more about Mrs Connolly while writing his book, and found she had an "incredibly poor background". He also discovered where his birth father was allegedly from.  "It's been an extraordinary journey, and quite cathartic and interesting," he said.

"I started this because I thought, 'I want to know what she looks like', 'I want to know if she's okay', 'I want her to know I'm fine'.  "So, in that respect, mission accomplished."

10

Articles / Adoption breakdown ended my career and relationship we're told to get on with it

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on March 10, 2026, 02:44:09 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czj1708v1ejo

Adoption breakdown ended my career and relationship we're told to get on with it

Sarah Easedale
BBC Wales

Published 17 February 2026

An adoptive mother says she is reaching "breaking point" caring for her daughter who has "significant trauma", and has called for more support for adoptive families.  The woman, who we are calling Anna to protect the identity of her child, said she had been physically attacked by her daughter and spent much of the last 15 years "living in crisis".  Anna, from north Wales, has spoken out after a BBC report found adoptive parents struggling with children who had often suffered abuse and neglect before being removed from their birth families.  The Welsh government said it valued the commitment of adoptive families and took seriously "any concerns raised about access to support".

What do the figures show?

The BBC investigation found 1,000 adopted children in the UK had been returned to care in the past five years.  In Wales, between 250 and 300 children are adopted each year.  Freedom of Information (FOI) requests sent to all 22 councils in Wales asked for the number of adoption disruptions - when adoptions don't go ahead and the number of adoption breakdowns, where an adoption collapses after a child is placed with an adoptive family.  Fourteen councils provided the total number of adoption disruptions, which amounted to 22 in the past five years.  Only seven councils provided figures on adoption breakdowns, which amounted to 16.  National Adoption Service Cymru said adoption disruption in Wales has remained consistently low at around 2% for the last 10 years.

'It's incredibly difficult for her but also for us'

Anna said the breakdown of her daughter's adoption was something she was "trying desperately to avoid" but said she could understand how, without support, it could happen.  She said day-to-day life was "tough" and had affected her health, led to the loss of her career and the breakdown of her relationship with her daughter's adoptive father.  Anna's daughter has a number of diagnoses including pre-verbal trauma and a dissociation disorder, which manifests as multiple personalities. She also has autism with a Pathological Demand Avoidance, external (PDA) profile.  "We do have some lovely, connected moments," said Anna.

"She didn't ask to be born in a chaotic life. She didn't ask for what she's got. It's incredibly difficult for her, but also for us as a family."

Anna said some individuals she had worked with over the years had been "brilliant", and her daughter had taken part in therapies which had been beneficial.  But she says she had to fight for support from her local authority and Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAHMS) and says she has often been "blamed" for her situation.  "What I'm finding is that professionals around me are looking at me [and asking] is my parenting good enough?  I've been told to have firmer boundaries, that I don't have boundaries.  There's a lot of parent blaming and I know that that feels very real for me and it does feel very real for other adoptive mums and dads, that I know.  We're just literally keeping our heads above the water we're overlooked and told just to get on with it and, you know, you've got on your boat now, row."

'Broken system'

Another adoptive mother from a different part of north Wales said she had similar experiences trying to get the right help for her teenage daughter, who she described as being "a ball of anger" and constantly "in survival mode".  The woman, who also wanted to remain anonymous, said she was regularly physically attacked by her daughter and had locked all the sharp objects in the house away.  She said she and her husband had been offered parenting courses.  "We love her to bits," she said, adding that with the "right support" they would not be in this position.  The system is broken," she said.

"We just go round and round in circles."

'More specialists needed'

Anna's local authority responded to her concerns and said some childrens' services offered had been extended to support adopters and adopted children. It also said that parents are listened to.  Betsi Cadwaladr health board said it did not comment on individual cases, but said that though there are no specific pathways for looked after children, CAHMS provide trauma-informed assessments and interventions for all children and young people referred to its services.  A recent Care Inspectorate Wales (CIW) report into the North Wales Adoption Service (NWAS) highlighted a lot of good practice in the region, but said some families were not receiving the specialist help they required once a child had been placed with them.  It found waiting lists for therapeutic support were "common" and said "delays in interventions have, in some cases, placed adoptive placements at risk".

The report found a need for more specialists, such as psychologists and occupational therapists.  NWAS said recruitment to increase capacity in post-adoption support, including therapeutic support, was ongoing.  It said it was continuing to work with funding bodies to "improve services so it can respond to families at the point of need".

Lilith Gough, a registered art psychotherapist based in Torfaen, said there was no one-size-fits-all therapeutic solution for trauma but getting the right help when needed was important.  "Trauma is something which overwhelms our ability to cope," she said.

"It can develop into more problems as [children] grow into life.  In school they might find it difficult to focus because they may be experiencing flashbacks or they might be consumed with thinking about what's happened in their life.  It can come across as acting out or misbehaving, but it isn't acting out or misbehaving. It's just literally not feeling safe in their own body."

The Children's Commissioner for Wales, Rocio Cifuentes, said it was "deeply concerning" to hear reports that adoptive parents were still not receiving the support they needed, and said she would raise the concerns with the current Welsh government and the next.  She said her office had previously raised the need for "greater focus" to be given to post-adoption support.  "While corporate parenting duties technically end once a child is adopted, I believe there is a continuing moral duty on the state to ensure that it provides for any on-going needs of that child. It is not only more resources that are required, but also better join up of the services that do exist," she added.

The Welsh government said it had invested £13m in the National Adoption Service since 2019, and said "joined up working" across services was key to ensuring families got the right help.  "Parenting children who have experienced trauma can be complex, reinforcing the need for timely, coordinated support grounded in trauma understanding," a spokesperson said.

"It is essential that adoptive parents are listened to, treated with empathy, and respected as skilled and committed carers in their children's lives."

Reform UK Wales said the next Welsh government "has to work with families to ensure that gaps in support are addressed", while a Plaid Cymru spokesperson said: "We believe support after adoption should be improved to ensure children's needs are met and families are better supported."

The Welsh Conservatives said: "We need properly joined-up, trauma-informed support across education, health and social care so vulnerable children are not let down again."

The Green Party's Ian Chandler said his party in the Senedd "will ensure everyone can access rapid early help, not just crisis care", while the Liberal Democrats said: "When families are forced to battle for therapy or left with patchy provision that does not meet a child's needs, that is a failure of the system, not of the parents."