Recent Posts

1

Articles / More LGBTQ+ families asked to consider adoption

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 26, 2026, 09:49:30 AM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgl582z1l5eo

More LGBTQ+ families asked to consider adoption

3 March 2026

By Gemma Dillon, West Yorkshire political reporter and Gayle Lofthouse, BBC Radio Leeds

A dad from West Yorkshire who adopted a son with his husband said he wants to reassure members of the LGBTQ+ community who might be considering adoption that "support is there throughout the process".

When Will Butterworth and his partner adopted a decade ago, he said it felt quite unusual for same-sex couples to have children.  But according to One Adoption, which supports parents across Yorkshire and the Humber, 23% of those they approved last year identified as LGBTQ+.  Michelle Rawlings from the organisation told the BBC she wants to dispel the "myth that people from the LGBTQ+ community can't adopt".

Before starting the adoption process, Butterworth and his husband said they had a notion children were "not for them".

"I don't know why, it might have been because in the community we were part of it wasn't a big thing particularly."

But as the couple found out more about the process, they realised it was something they really wanted to do and adopted their son when he was four years old.  "That was a bit of an advantage as we didn't have to go through nappy training and could talk and chat straight away, which was great."

For other people considering adoption he said people "should be prepared to be an open book and share every aspect of your life".

'Challenging myths'

Over the years, Butterworth said there had been challenges to being a same-sex parent.  "Sometimes on holiday I can feel people staring and drilling into the back of his head.  But I don't care, I look at my son and see how much fun he is having and when I see him playing with other children, they don't care either."

He said having a child made him more aware of the important things in life.  "Seeing him achieve things and do things we didn't think he'd be able to do has surprised us and the fact we have enabled that to happen, that feels nice," he said.

There are currently more than 100 children in West Yorkshire waiting for an adoptive family.  Rawlings from One Adoption, which provides services across all five West Yorkshire councils, said: "People worry about adopting as a single person, as couples, as a trans person, but the reality is we welcome people coming forward from those communities to adopt.  There are misconceptions that people need a certain amount of income or savings but it isn't true.  You don't need a garden, you don't need a big house and all those things people believe are barriers to coming forward aren't true. You just need a safe and stable home."

2

Articles / Best friends for decades until a DNA test revealed they were sisters

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 15, 2026, 08:08:36 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y6z72z9lno

Best friends for decades until a DNA test revealed they were sisters

Geeta Pandey
Women Affairs Editor, India

Published 12 September 2026

Theirs is a story straight out of a Bollywood film.  Two Indian-born women in their 40s, adopted as babies by different families and raised near each other in the Netherlands, have now discovered they are biological sisters.  Meena Geltink and Minal Tijssen, born in the early 1980s, were adopted from two different orphanages in the western Indian city of Mumbai within months of their birth.  When they first met in their early teens at an event hosted by the adoption agency their parents had used, they were struck by the uncanny similarities in their appearance and mannerisms.  Meena, now 43, remembers the day clearly.  "All the adopted children were brought together to hang out and bond and have dinner."

Both Meena and Minal were with friends who noticed how similar they looked.  "They said, 'Look at yourselves in the mirror'.  And I was like, 'Oh my God, she has my nose! We have the same laugh'.  At dinner, I kept looking at her the whole time," Meena told the BBC from her home in the Netherlands.

The following day, the girls exchanged telephone numbers and addresses and promised to keep in touch.  Even though there was no indication they were related by blood, their connection was instant, and for years they wrote each other letters, often addressing each other as "Sis" because "we felt that way".

They wrote about school, friends, boys, going out and dancing. They told each other about the sports they played and discussed music, discovering they both loved Backstreet Boys.  Then 15 years ago, they lost contact. Minal had moved to France. And Meena had recently had her first child and got busy.  In 2017, Meena attended another meeting of adoptees from India where she heard about MyHeritage DNA testing and decided to take a test herself. But she never found any matches and earlier this year, deleted the app because her phone storage was full. Then on 20 May, Meena received a message from Minal on Facebook.  "'Remember me?' she asked.

Minal had taken a DNA test in April while visiting her parents in the Netherlands and attached a screengrab of her test result.  "I reinstalled the app. I was so nervous I entered wrong passwords 10 times before I was able to log in," Meena says.

The result couldn't have been clearer the two women were "a 100% match".  "I had a 'full sister' which means we shared the same biological mother and father," Meena explains. "It was like I had an adrenalin shot. I cried. Minal was my missing puzzle piece I had waited so long for. We had called each other sister.  This DNA match was the confirmation that all our intuition was right."

On a fine sunny day in August the old friends met for the first time since discovering they were sisters.  "It was amazing. It felt like homecoming," Meena, now a mother to three children, says. "For years, Minal and I had felt a big hole in our hearts. We feel like we've been completed. Everything now feels like it's supposed to be."

Reporting on their "emotional reunion", Reuters said "tears, hugs ​and laughter punctuated their ​meeting followed by their first selfie together".

Minal, 44, who lives in France with her partner and two sons, told the agency that when her ⁠DNA results came in April, she had initially not realised her match was the same teenage girl who had clung to her when ​they first met 30 years ago.  It only sank in when she looked at her photos on social media. "'Meena: Sister.' I couldn't believe it. We were friends before we were sisters.  "We were sisters the whole time," she said, "but we didn't know."

Meena and Minal were adopted from different orphanages by two different Dutch couples.  Meena says she grew up in a small village in the Netherlands with parents who taught at a private school.  "They were also my teachers," she says. "They were very loving people, very trusting."

Her father died a few years ago, but her mother continues to live in the same village. "We talk every day. She's still my safe space," she adds.

In 2003, aged 19, Meena had visited the orphanage in Mumbai with her parents and her brother who was adopted from Goa.  They spent two weeks looking through records, trying to find out about Meena's biological parents "because for me it was important to know where I came from. But the orphanage would not reveal any details about them," she says.

Since May, Meena and Minal have been speaking every other day. They've met each other's spouses, children, brothers and parents.  "Everyone notices how we finish each other's sentences, how we move our heads or walk similar," Meena says.

The fact they are siblings is still sinking in, she says.  "Sometimes we talk for two hours and lose track of time, suddenly remembering that we have to do groceries or pick up children from school."

One thing she and her sister would "love to do", Meena says, is return to the place where it all began.  "We'd love to go to India together sometime, to walk through the streets of Mumbai together.  There were times when we both felt very lonely, like when I lost my dad or went through a heartbreak," she says.

"I regret we couldn't be with each other - we could have shared happiness, helped each other in tough times."

3

Articles / I was told I was unworthy to be a mother, then they stole my baby

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 06, 2026, 05:50:15 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2el0l0d38zo

I was told I was unworthy to be a mother, then they stole my baby

Nichola Rutherford
BBC Scotland News

Published 30 August 2026

Marion McMillan was 17, pregnant and unmarried, when she made her first trip to England from her home in the south-west of Scotland.  It was 1966 and she was sent by her family to a maternity home run by the Salvation Army more than 150 miles away, in Newcastle upon Tyne.  The young mum spent nine months with her baby a beautiful boy with "gorgeous wee black hair" before he was taken from her.  She begged staff to let her keep him. "I said 'please help me keep my baby, don't let them take my baby, please' and he was gone," she told a new BBC documentary, Stolen Babies.

Warning: This story contains racist language and descriptions of sexual abuse and violence

It tells the stories of some of the 250,000 women who were forced to hand over their newborns for adoption between 1949 and 1976.  They were powerless against the will of the state, social workers and religious organisations, and the system which supplied infants to adoptive families.  "Let's face it, we were working-class, unmarried girls having babies that were being adopted by middle-class women," another victim, Ann Keen, told the programme.

For years many of the women kept their ordeal their shame secret.  In July, outgoing prime minister Sir Keir Starmer issued a formal apology to those mothers, telling them: "The shame is not yours the shame is ours."

Marion's story: 'They cannae take my baby away from me'

Marion grew up in Stranraer in the 1960s where she fell for an older man who had emigrated from Pakistan.  "I was in love at the time and it was so lovely, I never gave it a second thought," she said.

"We were only together just a few short times, and I'd never told my family but at 17 I became pregnant out of wedlock."

She hoped they would marry but her boyfriend knew their relationship would not be accepted.  "Nobody will want you to go with a black man, Marion," he told her.

In their last conversation, he suggested emigrating to Hawaii where he believed mixed-race marriages were more acceptable.  "I never saw him ever again after that," she said. "Didn't know what was ahead of me. The conveyor belt of 'unwed mother' took control, and that was when I lost control."

She gave birth at Hopedene, a home for unmarried mothers where conditions were austere and treatment could be brutal.  "Everything, from the minute you cross their threshold, is that you're unworthy to be a mother and we're taking your baby from you," Marion said.

"It's going for adoption. So you better get used to that, girl, because you've no money, you've no place to live, you've not got anybody to support you."

While giving birth she was slapped across the face by the matron for trying to get off a bed.  "And I don't know what was worse, the shock of her doing that [or] being in heavy labour," she said. "And the next thing my son is born."

She wasn't allowed to hold him until the following day.  "I was absolutely terrified," Marion said. "Absolutely terrified that they're taking my baby. They cannae take my baby away from me."

But Marion got to spend longer with her baby than some of the other girls in mother-and-baby homes across the UK.  "I was a Scotch girl with a half-caste, that's what the Salvation Army recognised me to be," Marion said.

"And of course you were told that half-caste is very rarely successful in adoption."

He was nine months old when he was picked out by his adoptive parents. Marion compared the wait to handing him over to death row.  "[The matron] took him, and she was weeping with me, and she must have had another member of staff that took him then, and she was still holding me."

Her desperate pleas to keep the baby were ignored.  Unwelcome back home in Stranraer, she ended up in a women's hostel in Glasgow.  "Suddenly I'm banished from where I was born and brought up and I'm entirely on my own again," she told BBC Scotland News.

Marion was finally reunited with her son in 2004, but her experience as a teenager continues to cast a long shadow.  "It's been painful for him, painful for me, painful for his [adoptive] parents, painful for everybody.  But it you take away the pain it's been a gift from God because all the years I missed him."

Ann Keen: 'I was told I'd never see him again'

Ann Keen was 17 and working in a toilet roll factory in Ewloe, Flintshire, when she was asked out by a handsome salesman.  "That's when it happened. In today's terms it was without consent. You didn't say that in the 60s," she said.

Like Marion, she was sent away so the problem could be "dealt with". She gave birth at an NHS hospital in Swansea, where she was denied pain relief.  "I was told I wouldn't have anything for pain because I would remember it, and I wouldn't be a bad girl again," she said.

"They saw me as a woman that didn't have any morality and therefore I wasn't worthy of any help. And I don't believe, had I been married that that would have happened."

Ann was told that she could spend 10 days with her baby but on the eighth day she went to the nursery and he wasn't there.  A "cruel" midwife told her: "He's waiting for his new mummy. You'll never see him again."

She took her to a Victorian bathroom, put her in the bath and grabbed her breast.  The midwife told Ann: "I'm getting rid of this milk, you won't be needing it."

"And that's when I knew I'd lost everything," Ann said.

Joan Chambers: 'Teachers are supposed to be trustworthy'

Joan Chambers was a 14-year-old schoolgirl in Sunderland when she realised she was pregnant.  A teacher had starting asking her to go for walks in the countryside.  "I wasn't alarmed by it, because, you know, he was a teacher and teachers are supposed to be trustworthy," she said. "I trusted him, I really did."

One day he raped her. "All I remember is the pain," she said. "I didn't understand what was happening."

Five weeks before giving birth, she had to give evidence against the man in court.  Years later she discovered archives that showed that the judge had told the jury not to believe her testimony.  She told the documentary that the judge said: "He's got a good career ahead of him, so don't let her being pregnant sway you."

She went on: "That hurt. It really hurt when I read that years later. For a judge to say that."

The man was acquitted.  Joan spent the last few weeks of her pregnancy at a mother-and-baby home but she said she had "blanked out" the birth.  "It must have been so painful. I wasn't given painkillers or anything like that, " she added.

"The next thing I remember is like my legs were up in stirrups, a green cover over my legs, waiting for the doctor to come and stitch me. I had been torn to shreds, absolutely torn to shreds."

Her baby was taken when he was three weeks old, a week before Christmas.  "They took him from me and then they told me to go back in the nursery and take the bedding out of his cot and get it ready for the next baby," she said.

Joan was 66 when they were finally reunited.  "It was amazing, but it was so sad," she said. "He'd never looked for me because he had a happy adoption."

'The apologies prove we weren't to blame'

In 2023, Nicola Sturgeon described Marion McMillan as "one of the most ardent campaigners" as she formally apologised for the role of the state in the forced adoptions.  "It was always cruel, unjust and profoundly wrong," Scotland's first minister said.

In an updated apology, externalpublished on Friday, The Salvation Army said it was "profoundly sorry and deeply ashamed" that vulnerable young women did not get the help they needed in their mother and baby homes.  "We know we must be held accountable for those we let down and reflect on our role in a society that worked against pregnant unmarried women," its territorial leaders, commissioners Paul and Jenine Main, added.

Marion says still more can be done. She wants more support for the victims of forced adoption - mothers, children and adoptive parents.  And she would like to see a centre of excellence for adoption in Scotland, where anyone involved in adoption can receive comprehensive training and support.  Ann Keen was among a small group of mothers invited to Downing Street ahead of Starmer's apology on behalf of the UK government.  "The apology to me means I'm no longer presumed guilty of something I didn't do, because I didn't give him away. He was taken," she said.

"It will prove to the world that it wasn't our fault. We weren't to blame. The state was to blame, the churches were to blame, and we will be free."

4

Articles / Man holds back tears as he's given a letter from his birth relatives after ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on August 22, 2026, 05:18:04 PM »

https://www.dailymail.com/lifestyle/article-16025029/long-lost-family-man-abandoned-birth.html

Man holds back tears as he's given a letter from his birth relatives after being abandoned in a London apartment as a baby by his religious Dutch mother 66 years ago


    David, 66, was on ITV's Long Lost Family Born Without Trace
    READ MORE: Man hunts for estranged sibling on Long Lost Family after learning his sister is actually his MUM - and he was raised by his grandparents all along
    See more Daily Mail on Google - save us as a Preferred Source

By ELMIRA TANATAROVA, ASSISTANT LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Updated: 12:27, 4 August 2026

A man held back tears as he was given a letter from his birth relatives –fter being abandoned in a block of flats as a newborn.  In 1960, David Stevenson, tiny and cold but well fed wrapped in a rainbow of colourful knitted clothes, was found in a hallway on the second floor, outside one of the flats. At the time, his story made front-page news in the Daily Mail in an appeal to identify him, and was revisited by the newspaper in 2009 in another attempt to uncover new leads.  But for 66 years, David has lived with no knowledge of what happened to him or the circumstances that led to his abandonment, with little information in his adoption records.  But now his search to find his birth mother is finally over after ITV's Long Lost Family Born Without Trace put him in touch with her family, which is shown in the first episode.  After tracing his relatives back to the Netherlands, presenter Davina McCall gave David a letter from them, in which they explained that his mother came from a religious family and likely felt like she wouldn't be supported by her loved ones as a single mother.  A teary-eyed David said: 'I've often said I'm not looking for another family, you know. All I want to know is where did I come from?

'But seeing these and reading the letter, um, you know, I want to meet these people…That's, that's as big as it can be.'

During the episode, David got to revisit the block of flat in Golders Green where he was left in, questioning: 'Babies are often left at a police station or a hospital.  This is a locked private block.  Were some of the other residents somehow involved?'

Two family members, including a woman named Marianne agree to take DNA tests – which enabled Ariel to identify David's birth mother as a woman called Petra, who, sadly, passed away in 2010.  Marianne David's aunt and his first cousins, Saskia and Bart, told the show that the family had never even known Petra had been pregnant.  'That's just very sad to think of,' they admitted. 'A very young woman in a strange place in another country and then giving birth somewhere to a child...'

After leaving school, Petra moved to Paris where she worked as an au pair. It is thought that this explains David's French heritage – but due to strict laws around DNA testing there, it was not possible to confirm this.

She then moved to London, where she gave birth to David.  Not much is known about Petra's time in the UK, but her relatives recounted that she grew up in a strict Catholic household where news of her pregnancy would not have been tolerated.  'They would also have been very concerned with what society would think of having a child born out of wedlock,' they explained.

Petra returned to the Netherland and did not have any more children.  David was moved by hearing how much his birth mother had to go through.  'Oh wow, I find that surprising,' he shared. 'And quite sad actually you know having given up the one child that she did have.'

He then became emotional on receiving a letter from his Rotterdam relatives in which they shared that they would love to meet him and share their memories of Petra.  And that's exactly what David did. He headed straight to the Netherlands to meet, Marianne, Bart and Saskia, and another first cousin, Jan.  'One of the most rewarding thing sis to hear them talk about her,' he explained. 'It's helped me form an idea of her character.'

5

Articles / 'I was only guilty of putting my son first': Britain's 'most evil mum' who ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on August 18, 2026, 06:14:08 PM »

https://www.dailymail.com/crime-desk/article-16058219/UK-evil-mother-Lisa-Hayden-Johnson-pretended-son-severely-ill.html

'I was only guilty of putting my son first': Britain's 'most evil mum' who pretended her son was severely ill and forced him to use a wheelchair speaks for first time since release from jail

    To read about Jack the Ripper's astonishing link to the Freemasons and a chilling cover up sign up to The Crime Desk newsletter HERE
    What kind of cases do you want to read more about? Let us know at: crimedesk@dailymail.co.uk

By MARK DUELL, DEPUTY CHIEF REPORTER (DIGITAL)

Published: 00:01, 18 August 2026 | Updated: 09:32, 18 August 2026

Britain's 'most evil mother' who pretended her young child was severely ill to gain publicity and financial reward has claimed she was 'only guilty of putting my son first'.

Lisa Hayden-Johnson, 52, forced her son Matthew into a wheelchair and gave him unnecessary drugs to win sympathy from celebrities and charitable donations.  The mother-of-two from Brixham in Devon connected him up to an oxygen tank as part of the fabrication and met Queen Camilla, Sir Tony Blair and Simon Cowell. But her deception came crashing down when health workers and school staff told police of their concern – leading to her being jailed for more than three years in 2010. Now, Ms Hayden-Johnson has spoken on camera for the first time since her release in a new Channel 4 documentary called 'Love You To Death' airing tomorrow. Her eyes, hands and back are the only parts of her body shown during the programme.  In a trailer shared with the Daily Mail, she says of Matthew's birth: 'I always wanted to be a mum. He was such a happy baby. It was the most amazing thing.'

Ms Hayden-Johnson then adds: 'I'll answer everything that you can possibly throw at me. The only thing I was guilty of was putting my son first, and I don't regret that.'

The documentary also hears from Matthew and his sister Laura as well as doctors, police and relatives about how she subjected him to lengthy and enduring cruelty.  Laura who has complex PTSD because of nightmares featuring Matthew's cries as his feeding tubes are changed tells the programme: 'I can still hear him screaming.'

During the pretence, Ms Hayden-Johnson received free tickets to ITV's The X Factor, thousands in cash donations and benefits, went on free cruises and lobbied for Matthew to receive a national GMTV bravery award.  But she was organising a regime of medical, physiological and psychological mistreatment amounting to round-the-clock torture for the boy.  Ms Hayden-Johnson frequently described Matthew as 'the most ill child in Britain' and he became convinced he was chronically ill.  She subjected him to 325 medical encounters including inserting a feeding tube into his stomach under general anaesthetic. He had a total of nine GAs.  Ms Hayden-Johnson also claimed Matthew suffered from illnesses such as diabetes, food allergies, cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis and an intolerance to sunlight.  After being examined by medics in Devon, Bristol and London, she then forced Matthew to go to school in a wheelchair even though he could run around with his friends.  Ms Hayden-Johnson also made him wear sunglasses to protect his eyes and a bright yellow and green hat so he could be pulled to safety in case of an emergency.  She wore a green nurse's uniform at home and filled Matthew's bedroom with medical supplies and oxygen cylinders with one expert telling the documentary that the room was 'like a ward'.  Ms Hayden-Johnson even increased his blood sugar levels so tests would back her claim that he had diabetes.  Together, they met Royal Family members including Camilla, the then-Duchess of Cornwall who gave him a 'Children of Courage' medal, and Sarah Ferguson, then Duchess of York as well as a series of other celebrities and the casts of BBC shows Casualty and EastEnders.  Ms Hayden-Johnson also claimed a total of about £130,000 in benefits.  But when Matthew was six, police arrested her after health professionals and school staff met and discussed their concerns.  Following the start of an inquiry, Ms Hayden-Johnson wrongly said she had been raped near her home.  But, just as a suspect was about to be arrested, she confessed it was another lie and later admitted child cruelty as well as perverting the course of justice over the rape claim.  Police then discovered holiday videos of Matthew on a cruise ship running around in his swimming trunks and eating large meals.  When Ms Hayden-Johnson was arrested, Matthew was initially taken by social services to live with foster carers.  But he was later moved back with his sister Laura to live in Sheffield with their father, a supermarket manager who was initially taken in by his wife's deception.  Their father soon separated from Ms Hayden-Johnson who now has a new husband and does not appear in the documentary.  In the present day, Matthew, now 25, works in finance and Laura, now 27 who was diagnosed with complex PTSD has a job in childcare.  When Ms Hayden-Johnson was jailed aged 35 at Exeter Crown Court for three years and three months, judge Stephen Wildblood told her: 'There are five adjectives which describe you.  Cruel, manipulative, perverse, disordered and pitiful. Your cruel conduct traversed the fundamental rules of nature and nurture.'

Devon and Cornwall Police also said at the time that Ms Hayden-Johnson 'constantly denied being cruel to her son' and had never apologised for or explained her actions.  The Press dubbed her Britain's 'most evil mother' while Detective Constable Mark Uren described her in 2009 as a 'cruel, manipulative, evil mother who constantly lied to the medical professionals that her son was the sickest child in Britain'.

Ms Hayden-Johnson is one of Britain's most notable cases of Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another (FDIA) or Fabricated or Induced Illness (FII), formerly known as Munchausen syndrome by proxy.  This is defined by the NHS as a form of child abuse where a parent or carer exaggerates, fabricates or deliberately induces physical or mental health symptoms in a child.  The new programme comes two months after another case of suspected FII was documented by the BBC about Megan Bhari, whose mother helped her fake a brain tumour to con Brits out of £400,000 to pay for trips to Disney World.  The girl founded the Believe in Magic charity aged 16 in 2011 to help 'other' children suffering from severe or terminal illnesses, and ran it with her mother Jean O'Brien, 72 receiving the backing of various music stars.  But Megan died in 2018 from heart failure which saw an inquest confirm she did not have a brain tumour after all and investigations later claimed the girl was in fact also a victim after allegedly being duped into believing she was ill by her mother.

'Love You To Death' airs on Channel 4 at 9pm tomorrow

6

Articles / They became best friends then discovered they were brother and sister

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on August 14, 2026, 05:11:43 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g397rl4nzo

They became best friends then discovered they were brother and sister

North West

Published 24 July 2026

Dave Green and Andrea Urmston found they instantly hit it off when their paths crossed while working in separate roles at Manchester Airport.  The two strangers got on so well they could complete each other's sentences - which made sense when they discovered the truth.  Dave was Andrea's biological brother, but had been adopted by another family when he was a baby.  "I was shaking, I was just shaking and my heart was pounding," Andrea told the BBC. "I'd finally found him. It's unbelievable."

In 2005, Dave was managing the bus station at the airport and Andrea serviced the vending machines.  Over the next two years they became firm friends, texting and phoning each other when they were not at work.  One day during a phone call, Dave told Andrea something he had never mentioned before. He was adopted and his birth name was Stuart Proudlove.  "I kind of froze and didn't speak for a minute," said Andrea.

Her maiden name was Proudlove and she had a brother who was adopted before she was born.  "It's not a very popular name and it had to be him. Other than family, I had never heard that surname anywhere else," she added.

She immediately rang her mother, Susan, to check her long-lost brother's birth date. They matched: 24 March 1966. She called Dave straight back.  "I said 'it's got to be you, it's got to be you', and I said 'I need to see you', and so I went to pick him up," Andrea said.

As they were driving to their mother's house, Dave realised where he was. They were driving along the bus route he used to cover before becoming a manager.  His old route had taken him right past his mother's house, and the school that Andrea had attended.  He had been within touching distance of his birth family without realising.  Susan said finally meeting Dave was a surreal moment.  There were lots of tears. Then we just all hugged," said Andrea.

"I couldn't believe that I'd got my brother and my mum together, it was amazing."

Andrea's mother had told her that she had a brother when she was younger.  She told her he had been given up for adoption and had gone to a lovely lady who could not have children of her own.  "I immediately wanted to go and call him so we could play," Andrea said.

Susan said she had tried to find her son with the help of the Salvation Army, but had not got anywhere.  "I asked if we could go and get him back," Andrea said. "She did explain that it didn't work that way, so I promised her that I would find him for her one day."

Now they were finally being reunited.  "She had wanted that since being as young as I can remember," Andrea added.

"So yeah, I gave her that. I promised her that."

On the mantlepiece in Susan's home was a picture of Dave as a baby.  It had been sent by his adopted parents to his birth mother days after his adoption.  The same photograph had also been displayed in his adopted parents' house.  Dave had known since he was 10 that he was adopted, because his adoptive parents had shown him the paperwork.  But he said he had a very happy childhood, and had never harboured any desire to track down his birth mother.  "I didn't feel like I had to go searching or have any unanswered questions," he added.

'Lottery win'

For all three, finding each other has been a life-changing experience.  "I went from having really not a lot of positivity in my life at the time, to finding out that my best friend was my sister," Dave said.

"I'd found my birth mum being able to sort of make her truly happy. And I'd found a family really that I never really knew existed."

Their mother died recently, but both said they were glad she got to be reunited with her son.  "She was so desperate to find you to make sure you'd had a really good life," Andrea said.

For Andrea, the reunion was bittersweet. She had longed to find her brother for years.  "My mum and dad, they separated unfortunately and so I went through a lot of hard times knowing [Dave] was out there but I didn't know [where]."

The pair said they were now making the most of the time they have together after moving in with each other in Kidsgrove, Staffordshire.  Finding each other was, they said, their "lottery win".

7

Articles / Ugly feud between couple and surrogate mother erupts as woman who carried their

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on August 12, 2026, 04:29:17 PM »

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15975121/Surrogate-sued-abortion-Canada.html

Ugly feud between couple and surrogate mother erupts as woman who carried their son is sued after refusing to abort the fetus

    See more Daily Mail on Google save us as a Preferred Source

By MELISSA KOENIG, US REPORTER

Published: 06:55, 14 July 2026 | Updated: 12:18, 15 July 2026

A same-sex couple in Canada is suing the surrogate mother of their son, two years after she refused their request to abort the fetus.  In the suit filed in Ontario Superior Court in May, the parents allege the Ontario-based surrogate failed to keep them apprised about the baby's health, put the child at risk, caused emotional distress and violated their confidentiality, the National Post reports.  The statement of claim does not specifically mention the couple's request in June 2024 to terminate the pregnancy at 22 weeks, but both the surrogate and the head of the agency that connected the two parties said the disagreement was the first sign of any trouble.  'That's when everything changed they wanted a termination,' said Sally Rhoads-Heinrich, owner of Surrogacy in Canada Online.

The surrogate insisted more tests be conducted, and after specialists indicated that the baby was a healthy child with a relatively minor birth defect, the couple agreed to let the pregnancy continue.  But tensions escalated once again after the woman insisted on having a home birth, as was agreed upon in their contract, and later filed a small claims suit asking the parents to reimburse out-of-pocket expenses related to the pregnancy.  Shortly after she filed the small-claims suit, which has since gone to arbitration, the woman said she found out she was being sued.  The Ontario woman told the National Post she first became interested in surrogacy after seeing two close friends struggle to conceive.  'I work in an awful place,' said the surrogate, a single mother who works as a corrections officer. 'I see the worst humans in the world, and it was like something positive.'

After her profile went up on Surrogacy Canada Online's website, she said she heard almost immediately from 50 couples wanting her services, some of whom even sent flowers to her home.  Eventually, she narrowed down the prospects until she settled on the same sex couple and underwent in vitro fertilization with embryos from a donor egg and each of their sperm.  The surrogate said their rapport was positive for the first few months of the pregnancy but that all changed in late June 2024 after she informed the expectant parents that an ultrasound indicated the baby had a cleft lip, possibly a cleft palate and a minor heart defect.  She said she then received a letter from the 'intending parents' asking her to abort the fetus.  'Considering that medical tests indicate that the fetus has, or is likely to have, a genetic chromosomal or other abnormality or defect, and in accordance with article 8.5 (a) of our surrogacy agreement we want to inform you of our wish that the pregnancy be terminated,' the letter read.

'Although very difficult, this decision is free and informed.'

The surrogate was in the Dominican Republic at the time, officiating an international wrestling competition, and was left 'devastated' and a 'mess' after receiving the letter, she said.  She ultimately decided she would have agreed to have an abortion if the baby had no chance of survival after birth, but was not comfortable terminating the pregnancy over what she considered a largely cosmetic defect.  The parents then came to Toronto, where doctors at Mount Sinai Hospital which specializes in obstetric care said the baby had no problem beyond the cleft lip and was generally healthy.  At that point, the surrogate said, the parents agreed to proceed with the pregnancy.  But more conflict arose when the surrogate insisted on keeping to the original plan to have the baby delivered in a private home by midwives, and not in a hospital as the parents requested due to the cleft lip.  She said the baby had breathing problems upon delivery, but soon recovered when the midwives administered oxygen and called an ambulance to take him to the hospital. From there, the woman said the parents took the baby home and, for the most part, cut off communication with her.  Later, however, she asked the couple to reimburse her for about $10,000 in outstanding expenses, including lost income from work during the pregnancy, contributions to her pension plan she missed and transportation costs.  When she heard nothing back after repeated requests, the woman said she went to small claims court only to learn that their contract required monetary disagreements be resolved by arbitration.  Soon after, she said, came the parents' lawsuit.  It alleges that the surrogate failed to keep them abreast of the fetus's health, put the baby's health at risk by negligent behavior and 'failed to follow the [parents'] discretion regarding decisions affecting the fetus's medical care,' according to the National Post.  It also claims that the surrogate violated their confidentiality and caused serious emotional distress, with one of the parents unable to work from July 2, 2024 when the surrogate refused to have an abortion until September last year.  The lawsuit does not claim a specific amount of damages, but the surrogate said plaintiffs have indicated they're seeking about $600,000.  'You know I'm a single mom, you know I have a daughter and you're basically suing me for my house,' she lamented. 'It seems very s*****, it's just awful.  'I just feel used,' she continued. 'They didn't get the perfect child they wanted and they threw me away.'

For Rhoads-Heinrich, the saga highlights the vulnerable position of surrogates in Canada, who are legally barred from charging commercial fees unlike their counterparts in the US.   Instead, they could only be paid for receipted expenses.  Most women who decide to become surrogates in Canada therefore get pregnant simply to help others.  But sometimes, she said, they fail to get their costs paid or are left literally holding the baby when the parents walk away.  'What I find most difficult in this is they are suing the woman who brought their son to them. How is their son going to feel someday if he learns that?' Rhoads-Heinrich said of this case.

Juliet Guichon, a bioethics professor at the University of Calgary, also said the case underscores that surrogates are vulnerable under Canadian law noting that it appears the parents in this case are punishing the woman for allegedly contravening their agreement.  'Moreover, they earlier sought to end the fetus's life for a medical condition that can be completely overcome by surgery and therapy,' she said.

Based on what she knows about the case, Guichon said, 'The question arises as to whether it is in the best interests of the child to be raised by these people.'

The Daily Mail has reached out to the parents' lawyer, Jonathan Lancaster, for comment.

8

Articles / 'Government's forced adoption apology is too late'

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on August 04, 2026, 05:21:38 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yzwq544k0o

'Government's forced adoption apology is too late'

Alice Cunningham
Suffolk

Published 3 July 2026

A man whose biological mother was forced to give him up for adoption said the government's apology was "far too late".  Reg Barker, 66, from Mildenhall, Suffolk, found out he was adopted aged 18 and later learned that his mother from Bristol had been forced to give him up by hospital staff.  An estimated 185,000 babies were taken from their mothers in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s, with many women pressured into giving up their children because they were unmarried.  Sir Keir Starmer said in a statement on Thursday that the practice was "a stain on our history", but Barker stated his birth parents would never hear the apology.  I've still got to take it all in but I said recently to some other people, it's far too little, far too late," he told BBC Radio Bristol's John Darvall.

"My [birth] mother won't hear that apology. My birth father won't hear that apology.  It's far too late for all the children and all the adults involved," he said.

Barker was about three and a half years old when he was adopted, but he did not find out until he was 18 when he went to apply for a passport.  He said it had been a "complete shock" and he spent 45 years to trace his birth family.  Barker encouraged anyone who was adopted and looking for their birth family to "please do it".  "Those who have been adopted and gone through the system through forced adoption, whether it's the parent or whether it's a child, you are incredibly brave.  Nobody should feel any shame, nobody at all.  I don't want anybody anywhere in this country or abroad who's been adopted or had to go through forced adoption of their children to ever feel any shame.  I want everybody to understand you are brave," he said

Sir Keir apologised on behalf of the British state in a statement in the House of Commons on Thursday, which came after years of campaigning from mothers, adoptees and their wider families.  He said the forced adoptions were not isolated or accidental acts, but part of practices "embedded" across local authorities, religious organisations and parts of what is now the NHS.  "All institutions that operated with power over people's lives, yet they did so without compassion, without consent, and without dignity or proper safeguards" he told the Commons.

He continued: "We are deeply and profoundly sorry to the mothers who were told they were unfit, who were prevented from caring for the children they desperately wanted to help and to keep, and who have carried this loss for decades."

9

Articles / Forced adoptions 'a stain on our history' says Starmer as he gives formal ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on August 01, 2026, 04:38:31 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c20yq332018o

Forced adoptions 'a stain on our history' says Starmer as he gives formal apology

Ian Aikman and Tom McArthur

Published 2 July 2026

Sir Keir Starmer has apologised on behalf of the British state for its role in historical forced adoptions in England and Wales.  An estimated 185,000 babies were taken from their mothers in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s, with women pressured into giving up their children because they were unmarried. In a statement in the House of Commons, Sir Keir said what happened to "tens of thousands of mothers, children and families" was "a stain on our history".  "The shame is not yours. The shame was never yours. The shame is ours," he said.

The apology comes after years of campaigning from mothers, adoptees and their wider families, and parliamentary reports into the issue.  No compensation scheme has been put in place, but a £4 million support package over three years has been announced for better access to adoption records and improved family reunion services.  Sir Keir said: "Mothers, many young, vulnerable, and without support were coerced, bullied, or misled into feeling that they had no choice but to have their children taken away from them. What a thing to do."

Sir Keir said the forced adoptions were not isolated or accidental acts, but were practices "embedded" across local authorities, religious organisations and parts of what is now the NHS.  "All institutions that operated with power over people's lives, yet they did so without compassion, without consent, and without dignity or proper safeguards" he told the Commons.

He continued: "We are deeply and profoundly sorry to the mothers who were told they were unfit, who were prevented from caring for the children they desperately wanted to help and to keep, and who have carried this loss for decades."

During the prime minister's speech, some of the birth mothers and adoptees watching from the public gallery were seen wiping away tears, while others clapped.  Conservative shadow minister Alex Burghart agreed with Sir Keir that historical forced adoption was "a stain on our history", as he added former practices are "mercifully alien to us" today.  Speaking in the Commons, Burghart said: "those beliefs have left a permanent mark on each and every one of those lives, on children separated from their mothers and on the mothers whose children were taken away."

Support groups for mothers and adopted adults will be established by the Department of Education, Sir Keir told the Commons.  Campaigners met the prime minister in Downing Street ahead of the apology.  One of those was former Labour MP Ann Keen, who told BBC Radio 4's Today programme ahead of the meeting that she was looking forward to "being released from my shame" by the apology.  Keen said she "didn't have a say" in her son's adoption after she was sent to a Swansea mother and baby home in 1966, when she was 17.  "We all need this apology because we have always been accused of giving up our babies and we didn't give them up," Keen said.

The former health minister said mothers and adoptees had been "waiting a long time" for an apology, but that the government had "done the best they could, because it's so complex".

The formal apology recognises the "lifelong trauma" endured by mothers who had their babies forcibly adopted, campaign group the Movement for an Adoption Apology said, as it also paid tribute to the many "determined women" who had long pushed for the state to say sorry.

Affected women have said public sector employees, such as doctors, nurses and social workers, were involved in pressuring them into adoption due to social stigma around being young and unmarried.  In March, a parliamentary inquiry recommended the government urgently apologise for the state's role in the practice.  The inquiry report, from the Education Committee, found that government decisions had "shaped the environment in which unmarried mothers were often shamed and coerced into having their children put up for adoption".

It called for improved access to adoption records, as well as more support for people seeking to contact or reunite with their families.  It stopped short of recommending financial redress to victims, but called on the government to "rigorously assess" how other countries had responded to historical forced adoption, including Australia, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.  A previous report from the Joint Committee on Human Rights called for a state apology in 2022. The then-Conservative government said it was "sorry on behalf of society" in 2023, but said it did not think a formal apology was appropriate "since the state did not actively support these practices".

The apology comes three years after the devolved governments in Cardiff and Holyrood said sorry to victims of forced adoption in Wales and Scotland.  An apology is also expected in Northern Ireland, but not until after the completion of a public inquiry, following a 2021 report on mother and baby institutions, Magdalene laundries and workhouses.  Previous BBC reporting into forced adoption led to the parliamentary inquiry.  Gaynor Weatherly, whose mother was 16 when she was born in 1963, told the BBC in 2021 that while she had found happiness through her own marriage and children, she felt "cheated out of a different life".  Diana Defries, who was 16 when she became pregnant, had her baby taken from her moments after she gave birth.  Also speaking to the BBC in 2021, she said: "I yelled to bring her back, but the nurse then just walked past me and put my daughter on a table out of my reach."

The Education Committee report in March also found that the state was "aided in enacting its policies by charities and religious institutions, who were, for example, responsible for the operation of mother and baby homes".

In June, the Church of England said it was "profoundly sorry" for its role in forced adoptions.  In a formal apology, the Archbishop of Canterbury Dame Sarah Mullally said victims experienced "pain and trauma and suffering and fear when you should have received care and compassion". 

She added: "You have nothing to be ashamed of. The shame is ours."

10

Politics / Government apologises for historic forced adoption practices

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on July 18, 2026, 04:30:50 PM »

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/government-apologises-for-historic-forced-adoption-practices

Press release
Government apologises for historic forced adoption practices

Apology comes with £4 million package of support which includes easier access to adoption records

From:  Department for Education and The Rt Hon Bridget Phillipson MP
Published: 2 July 2026
   
People affected by the injustice of forced adoption have today received the formal apology they deserve, as the government acknowledged the role of the state in the appalling practice and unveiled a package of practical support worth £4 million over three years.

The Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, delivered the apology in Parliament as campaigners watched on, ahead of a reception for them in Westminster.

In a speech, the Prime Minister reflected on the harm caused to an estimated 185,000 mothers, adopted people and their wider families by practices that took place primarily between 1949 and 1976.

The apology recognises that many women were denied genuine choice, made to feel ashamed or unworthy, and that children were taken from their birth families, their identity and their history. Fathers and wider families were also affected, with harm lasting across lifetimes and, in some cases, generations.

The £4 million support fund will go towards helping people access their adoption records via the Coram BAAF charity, fund intermediary services like Family Connect that helps people reconnect with family members, and research and testimonial projects to document the long-term impact on people’s lives.

Speaking directly to campaigners watching from the House gallery, the Prime Minister Keir Starmer, said:

    The shame is not yours. The shame was never yours. The shame is ours.

    And I say that on behalf of the whole country, I say it to every single person impacted, we are deeply and profoundly sorry.

Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson said:

    The pain carried by mothers, adopted children and their families who suffered this appalling injustice is unimaginable. They were cruelly denied irreplaceable moments, shared experiences and relationships which should have been theirs, and were made to feel ashamed.

    Today, on behalf of the British state, we say with one voice: this was wrong, and we are sorry. An apology cannot undo what happened, but it can be the start of real change, alongside providing the practical action, care and support that people need.

Governments funded, enabled and relied on systems that were not consistently or effectively overseen. In some cases, records were lost, altered, or not made fully accessible to those seeking answers. The state did not do enough to protect mothers, children and families and it failed to prevent harm from continuing. It bears responsibility for the systems it funded and legitimised, which enabled these practices to take place.

The Government recognises that an apology alone is not enough. Alongside today’s statement, ministers are setting out practical steps to improve support for those affected, including:

    improving access to adoption records;
    expanding services which support family reconnection;
    working with NHS England to improve access to appropriate health support, including with mental health challenges;
    developing peer support;
    strengthening awareness across public services;
    establishing a lived experience reference group to review progress; and
    commissioning a testimonials project to capture the stories of those with experience of historical forced adoption.

To ensure that lessons are learned and continue to make improvements, the government will also work to gather data on how the support announced today is working over time, keeping the need for further research under review.

This package reflects what those affected have said matters most: being able to understand their past, access records, reconnect with family where possible and receive support that recognises what they have lived through.

The apology relates to historical adoption practices in England. Scotland and Wales have each issued their own formal apologies, which the UK Government supports, while in Northern Ireland work is underway to establish a statutory public inquiry into Mother and Baby Institutions, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses, led by the Northern Ireland Executive.

The Government recognises that some people’s experiences extend beyond the 1949 to 1976 period, and that it is deeply upsetting to hear examples where coercive practices continued. Today’s adoption system is fundamentally different, with strong legal safeguards, clear consent requirements and independent judicial oversight.

Information and support for those affected

If you have been affected by historical forced adoption practices, support is available:

    FamilyConnect offers confidential support, including counselling, record tracing and help with reunification where appropriate, and can be reached on 0300 1800 205 or https://www.familyconnect.org.uk
    For urgent support Samaritans is available 24/7 and free from any phone: 116 123.
    You can also speak to your GP, who can help you access further support.

If you are based outside England, you can still access confidential listening services such as Samaritans

ENDS

DfE media enquiries

Central newsdesk - for journalists 0203 371 4832