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21

Articles / Scottish woman's heartbreak as she tracks down her birth mother after 50....

« Last post by RDsmum on July 28, 2025, 05:49:36 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14946967/scottish-woman-heartbreak-birth-mother-long-lost-family.html

Scottish woman's heartbreak as she tracks down her birth mother after 50 years only to find out she doesn't want to meet

    Paula Stillie, from Scotland, appeared on Long Lost Family: What Happened Next
    READ MORE: Long Lost Family: Emotional moment woman, 66, who was diagnosed with cancer, reunites with daughter she gave up for adoption after becoming pregnant aged 16

By MAANYA SACHDEVA and JESSICA GREEN

Published: 14:21, 28 July 2025 | Updated: 15:14, 28 July 2025

A Scottish B&B owner who waited 50 years to meet her biological parents was left devastated after her birth mother refused to meet her during this week's episode of Long Lost Family: What Happened Next.  Paula Stillie, now 53, sought the help of the ITV program to answer questions about her background growing up in Buckie, Scotland, with the mother-of-one first reaching out to producers in 2021. Paula recalled early experiences of racism while living with her white adoptive parents and how she covered herself in talcum powder from 'head-to-toe' so that she would look more like them. 'I don't know where I come from. What are my roots? Who do I look like?' Paula, who lives with her husband Euan and their son Kyle, said.  'I don't feel as if I've got an anchor in life, I could come from anywhere in the world. I just don't know.  Being adopted you're different, but also of mixed race as well makes you even more different,' she explained. 'Why did I have a different skin colour to my mum and dad?'

She continued: 'I can remember covering myself in talcum powder from head-to-toe and Mum came in and I said, "I'm the same colour as you mum, I'm white". I think that broke her heart.'

In the latest episode of the ITV program, viewers catch up with Paula's emotional journey including the moment when she learned her birth mother did not want any contact with her.  Viewers admitted they were in tears by the end of the episode as Paula's heartbreak turns into healing when she is finally accepted by her late father's Native American relatives living in Montana, US.  In their search for Paula's biological family, producers were able to identify and track down her birth mother, who was living in England but she declined to meet the daughter she had given up for adoption. 'It was a shock that she didn't want to see me,' Paula confessed. 'I was disappointed.'

She admitted there will always be a 'feeling of rejection' when it comes to her relationship with her mother, adding: 'It's so, so sad that she'll never meet me.'

While she rejected Long Lost Family's offer to reunite with Paula, her birth mother offered a clue about her biological father an American man she called Larry Smith. 'It's a real longing within me to find my birth father. There's a whole other world out there that I don't know about that involves me,' Paula said.

Her father had travelled to England with the navy for a short period of time, but he was difficult to track down so the Long Lost Family team turned to DNA testing.  They discovered a distant match with a man named Joe, whose family tree, which was registered online, revealed Paula's paternal relatives were Native American.  The tree also included a man called Lawrence known to his family as John who was Paula's father. However, he tragically passed away in 1982.  Thankfully, researchers were able to discover Lawrence's younger brother Joe, who lived in Montana with the rest of the family.  Joe revealed to co-presenter Nicky Campbell that his sibling, who had no other children, never knew he had a daughter, but would have tried to find her had he known.  Paula's uncle Joe also explained that his grandfather George was part of the Comanche tribe in Oklahoma.  Paula's aunts and uncles Joe, Mary Louise, Nancy and Richard were keen to meet their new niece and welcome her, with Joe saying she was 'bringing John back to the family'.

The relatives met for the first time via video call but in the most recent episode were finally reunited after Paula travels to Montana.  'Being here, doesn't feel quite real. That I'm minutes away from meeting my family,' said Paula. 'It's just like this massive bubble of emotion ready to burst out.'

Following the emotional reunion with her uncle and aunts, she said: 'That was incredible. Opening the door and seeing them standing there, I can't describe the feeling. I've waited for this moment for so long.'

Viewers were left in tears at the scenes, with one writing: 'I wish just once I could get through Long Lost Family without crying.'

Another said: 'What a beautiful family and welcome for Paula and her family #LongLostFamily.'

22

Articles / Woman smuggled baby into UK using fake birth story

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on July 24, 2025, 07:12:15 PM »

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c98jl8jnz92o

Woman smuggled baby into UK using fake birth story
14 July 2025
Sanchia Berg News correspondent, Tara Mewawalla, BBC News

Last summer, a woman was arrested at Gatwick Airport after she arrived from Nigeria with a very young baby girl.  The woman had been living in West Yorkshire with her husband and children, and before leaving the UK for Africa had told her GP she was pregnant.  That was not true.  When the woman returned about a month later with the baby, she was arrested on suspicion of trafficking.  The case, the second the BBC has followed through the Family Court in recent months, reveals what experts say is a worrying trend of babies possibly being brought to the UK unlawfully some from so-called "baby factories" in Nigeria.

'My babies are always hidden'

The woman, who we are calling Susan, is Nigerian, but had been living in England since June 2023, with her husband and children.  A careworker with leave to remain in Britain, Susan claimed she was pregnant. But scans and blood tests showed that wasn't true. Instead, they revealed Susan had a tumour, which doctors feared could be cancerous. But she refused treatment.  Susan insisted her previous pregnancies had been invisible on scans, telling her employer, "my babies are always hidden".

She also claimed she'd been pregnant for up to 30 months with her other children.  Susan had travelled to Nigeria in early June 2024, saying she wanted to have her baby there, and then contacted her local hospital in Britain, to say she had given birth.  Doctors were concerned and contacted children's services.  Arriving back in the UK with the baby girl who we're calling Eleanor Susan was stopped and arrested by Sussex Police.  She was bailed and the lead police force on this confirmed there is no active investigation at the moment.  After her arrest, Susan, her husband, and Eleanor were given DNA tests. Eleanor was taken to foster carers.  "When the results show that I am Eleanor's mother, I want her to be returned immediately," Susan said.

But the tests showed the baby had no genetic link with Susan or her husband. Susan demanded a second test which gave the same result, and then she changed her story.  She'd had IVF treatment before moving to Britain in 2023 with a donor egg and sperm, she said, and that's why the DNA tests were negative.  Susan provided a letter from a Nigerian hospital, signed by the medical director, saying she'd given birth there, as well as a document from another clinic about the IVF treatment to back up her claims.  She also provided photos and videos which she said showed her in the Nigerian hospital's labour suite. No face is visible in the images and one showed a naked woman with a placenta between her legs, with an umbilical cord still attached to it.

Someone had given birth it wasn't Susan

The Family Court in Leeds sent Henrietta Coker to investigate.  Ms Coker, who provides expert reports to family courts in cases like this, has nearly 30 years experience as a social worker. She trained in Britain, and worked in front-line child protection in London, before moving to Africa.  Ms Coker visited the medical centre where Susan claimed she'd had IVF. There was no record of Susan having had treatment there staff told her the letter was forged.  She then visited the place Susan said she'd given birth. It was a shabby, three bedroom flat, with "stained" walls and "dirty" carpets.  There Ms Coker was met by "three young teenage girls sitting in the reception room with nurses' uniforms on".

She asked to speak to the matron and was "ushered into the kitchen where a teenage girl was eating rice".

Ms Coker then tracked down the doctor who'd written a letter saying Susan had given birth there. He said, "Yes, someone had given birth".

Ms Coker showed him a photograph of Susan, but it wasn't her, the doctor said.  "Impersonating people is common in this part of the world," he told Ms Coker, suggesting that Susan might have "bought the baby".

The practice of "baby farming" is well known in West Africa, Ms Coker later told the court. At least 200 illegal "baby factories" have been shut down by the Nigerian authorities in the last five years, she said.  Some contained young girls who'd been kidnapped, raped, and forced to give birth repeatedly.  "Sometimes these girls are released," Ms Coker said, "other times they die during childbirth, or are murdered and placed in the grounds of the organisation."

It's not clear where baby Eleanor might have come from though the doctor told Ms Coker he believed she would have been given up voluntarily.  Ms Coker was unable to establish who Eleanor's real parents are.  She gave evidence to the Family Court in Leeds in March this year, along with Susan, her husband, her employer and a senior obstetrician.  At an earlier hearing the judge asked for Susan's phone to be examined. Investigators found messages which Susan had sent to someone saved in her address book as "Mum oft [sic] Lagos Baby".

About four weeks before the alleged date of birth Susan wrote a text message which read:  "Good afternoon ma, I have not seen the hospital items"

The same day, Mum Oft Lagos Baby responded:  "Delivery drug is 3.4 m

"Hospital bill 170k."

Assuming those sums to be Nigerian Naira, they would be in the region of £1,700 and £85 respectively, the Family Court judge, Recorder William Tyler KC said.  The local authority pointed out the messages were set to "automatic self-destruct mode" and said they represented evidence of a deal to purchase a baby.  Susan tried to explain the messages in court. The Recorder said her attempts were "difficult to follow and impossible to accept".

Recorder Tyler, sitting as a Deputy Judge of the High Court, found Susan had "staged a scene" which she falsely claimed showed her giving birth to Eleanor in Nigeria.  He said Susan and her husband had put forward a "fundamental lie" to explain how Eleanor came to be in their care, and had tried to mislead authorities with false documents.  They'd both caused the little girl "significant emotional and psychological harm", he said.

In early July, the BBC attended the final hearing in Eleanor's case, held remotely.  In one little square of the Teams meeting we could see Susan and her husband, sitting upright, barely moving, focused closely on what the advocates said.  They wanted Eleanor returned to them. Their barristers said their own children were thriving they wanted to offer her the same love and care.  Susan's husband saw Eleanor as "a fundamental part of their family unit".

Vikki Horspool, representing the child's guardian, a social worker from the Independent Children and Family Child Advisory Service challenged that. She said that the couple "continued to be dishonest" about Eleanor's real start in life and how she came to be in their care. 
The judge ordered that baby Eleanor be placed for adoption, and also made a "declaration of non parentage". He said he was aware of the "pain" this would cause Susan and her husband.  The barrister for the local authority told the court that the baby is "very settled" with her foster carer, taking part in activities in her community and getting medical treatment.  When Eleanor is adopted she will have a new identity and British nationality but she may never know who her real parents are.  Eleanor's story echoes the case of "Lucy" who was brought into Manchester Airport in 2023, by a man claiming to be her father.  'Money exchanged for children'  Ms Coker believes it is likely that more children have been brought unlawfully to the UK from West Africa. She told the BBC she has worked on around a dozen similar cases since the pandemic. In her experience, baby trafficking is commonplace.  "Money is getting exchanged for children on a large scale" she said - not just in Africa but "across the global south".

Since 2021 the UK government has restricted adoptions from Nigeria, partly because of "evidence of organised child trafficking" within the country.  British authorities have been aware of the problem for many years, and there have been several cases in the Family Courts over the last 20 years.  Two hearings in 2011 and 2012 involved Nigerian couples who'd had "fertility treatment " that led to a "miracle baby".

These "treatments" continue, as recently exposed by investigative journalists at BBC Africa Eye.  In 2013, the UK High Commission in Lagos required DNA tests in certain circumstances before newborn babies could be taken from Nigeria to Britain.  Among 12 couples investigated was a former Oxford academic, prosecuted for immigration offences.  However this process has since stopped. In 2018 officials were advised that such DNA testing was unlawful.  They were told they could not make people undergo DNA testing when they were asking for a visa or passport in support of an application relating to immigration status and that had been the case since 2014.  Ms Coker said some clinics offer "packages" that include registering the baby's birth. It will cost anywhere between £2,000 and £8,000, excluding any airfare, she said.  She thinks more people in Britain should be aware of this activity.  It is hard to tackle, she said - perhaps DNA testing of newborn babies and purported parents would help.  But she wasn't sure the British government can do much to stop it, she said, "the issues start in countries where the children are born".

Patricia Durr, CEO of the anti-trafficking charity ECPAT said cases like this were particularly "heinous" because they denied a child right to their identity.  She said: "Every effort must be made to prevent these egregious crimes occurring."

A government spokesperson said: "Falsely claiming to be the parent of a child to facilitate entry to the UK is illegal. Those found doing so will face the full force of the law.  "Border Force is committed to protecting individuals who cross the border and where concerns are raised, officers will take action to safeguard individuals who could be at risk."

The BBC contacted the Nigerian High Commission for comment but they did not respond.

If you've been affected by issues raised in this story, there is information and support available on BBC Action Line.

23

Articles / 'Just say sorry', say forcibly adopted women

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on July 20, 2025, 05:54:01 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czdvg3y1jgeo

'Just say sorry', say forcibly adopted women

Fiona Irving & Jody Sabral BBC News, South East
Cash Murphy BBC News, South East

Published 14 July 2025

Two Kent women who were removed from their mothers when they were just weeks old and forcibly adopted say they need the government to formally apologise in order to help them recover from the trauma.  "Why can't they just say sorry? They haven't got the guts," said Helen Weston from Yalding who was taken from her 15-year-old mother when she was 12 days old.

Nikki Paine, from Ashford, who was adopted at six weeks old, and was diagnosed with PTSD, says she just wants an acknowledgement of what happened to her.  A demonstration is due to take place on Wednesday to urge the government to apologise to the hundreds of people forcibly adopted during the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s as well as their mothers.  An inquiry by the human rights select committee, undertaken in 2021, looked at the experiences of children adopted across this period because their parents were either underage or not married.  Published in July 2022, its report recommended a formal apology after finding that babies were taken from mothers who did not want to let them go.  The Welsh and Scottish governments have officially apologised to those affected by forced adoptions, but the UK government so far has not.

'Wracked with guilt'

Ms Weston said: "If we get the validation then maybe my birth mother won't be so wracked with guilt and shame and keeping this dreadful secret."

She was adopted in 1967 after her teenage mother was forced to give her up.  She says it has had a profound impact on her life and was diagnosed with complex PTSD.  "I'm not angry with anybody, I think that's why I get so depressed," she said.

"If there was one person I could be angry at, if one person was responsible, then I could give them a gob full and get rid of it.  They genuinely thought they were doing the best for us."

Ms Paine, who has also been diagnosed with complex PTSD, will be among those demonstrating in Westminster on Monday.  She said: "We're all suffering from anxiety, we're all on antidepressants.  The apology would get the mental health support and that's really important." 

She said: "We want this to be recognised because they took me away from my mother.  I'm 63-years-old and it's still affecting my life."

'I wanted my real mum'

Wednesday's protest has been organised by adoptee advocate Zara Phillips, and is supported by the Movement for an Adoption Apology.  According to the group, between 1945 and 1976 an estimated 215,000 women had their children taken away from them.  A spokesperson for the group said: "We are all growing older and time is running out.  We have been ignored by successive governments and now urgently need a public apology for this very personal and painful lifelong trauma."

They said: "A public apology would help mothers and adoptees change the narrative around what was done to them.  It would acknowledge the injustice and the loss which will endure for the rest of their lives."

Some adoptees say they feel like they do not belong in their adoptive families especially when their adoptive parents have their own birth children.  Ms Weston said: "I was adopted into a family who had two children of their own, the dynamic with my adopted family was that I was always a problem child," said Mrs Weston.

Ms Paine echoed this sentiment, saying: "I told my mother that she never hugged me, but she said you never wanted me to, and I thought how can you say that, but of course I wanted my real mum."

The Department for Education has been approached for a comment.

24

Articles / Adopted at birth Melissa Gilbert reveals astonishing moment she reconnected ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on July 11, 2025, 12:10:34 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-14891365/Melissa-Gilbert-biological-father-Little-House-Prairie.html?login&signinStatus=authenticated&signinMethod=password&dataCaptured=false&flowVariant=standard_signin_nosubscribe&param_code=k7pe13qbsjn75b4iqjln&param_state=eyJyZW1lbWJlck1lIjp0cnVlLCJyZWdTb3VyY2UiOiJtd2ViX2NvbW1lbnQiLCJyYW5kb21TdGF0ZSI6ImUyY2JkNzc5LTk0M2YtNDFmNi05NzJmLTE4NWVlYTVjYThjZCJ9&param_info=%7B%22signinStatus%22%3A%22authenticated%22%2C%22signinMethod%22%3A%22password%22%2C%22dataCaptured%22%3Afalse%2C%22flowVariant%22%3A%22standard_signin_nosubscribe%22%7D&param__host=www.dailymail.co.uk&param_geolocation=gb&base_fe_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymail.co.uk%2F&validation_fe_uri=%2Fregistration%2Fp%2Fapi%2Ffield%2Fvalidation%2F&check_user_fe_uri=registration%2Fp%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Fuser_check%2F&isMobile=false#newcomment

Adopted at birth Melissa Gilbert reveals astonishing moment she reconnected with biological father

    Have YOU got a story? Email tips@dailymail.com

By SONIA HORON FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

Published: 03:02, 10 July 2025 | Updated: 08:01, 10 July 2025

Little House on the Prairie star Melissa Gilbert revealed how her biological father 'knew' she was his daughter from watching her onscreen.  The actress, 61, who was adopted after birth, discussed the journey of finding her biological parents on an episode of Patrick Labyorteaux's podcast on Tuesday.  As an adult, she found her birth father who was a stock car racer and musician and called him to share the news, only to find he already knew.  'I didn't tell him who I was, and then he asked me, "Well, who are you? What do you do?"'

Gilbert, who was raised by her adoptive parents, actors Barbara Cowan and the late Paul Gilbert, said.  'And I said, "Well, here's the thing." And I said, "Did you ever watch Little House on the Prairie?" And he said, '"You're Laura, aren't you? I knew it." He knew it,' she added.

'He could see,' she said of her character on the show, Laura Ingalls. 'And when I met my half siblings, we all look alike. So, you could definitely see it. So, it's pretty clear.'

Gilbert also discussed her birth mother Kathy, who passed away before she got to reconnect with her, sharing that she was a former exotic dancer.   Given her biological parents' background in entertainment, and her adoptive parents' acting backgrounds, Gilbert noted, 'It was pretty clear that it was in me.'

When she began 'searching' for her birth parents, Gilbert learned about their past.  'They were each married to other people and had three children each and ran off together and conceived me on a motorcycle trip in the desert,' she revealed.  Explains a lot. And then they left their spouses for each other and got married after [getting] pregnant with me and moved all the kids in, so I was number seven. So the decision was made to put me up for adoption.'

Gilbert also spoke about her two kids: Dakota, whom she shares with her first husband, director Bo Brinkman, and another son, Michael, born in 1995, whom she shares with her second husband, actor Bruce Boxleitner.  She noted how they also shared her physical features: 'When I saw [son Dakota] for the first time, I went, "Oh my god,"' Gilbert said of her first child, who was born in 1989.

'He had my eyebrows and he had my lips, and I'd never seen anyone that looked like me. And then I realized there's got to be more.'

Last year she paid tribute to her both her adoptive mom Barbara and biological mom Kathy in a touching Mother's Day post.  She shared a snap of herself with Barbara, as well as another photo of her birth mom holding a rifle.  'Happiest of Mothers Days to these two. The one with the rifle? I grew under her heart. The one beside me? I grew IN her heart.'

'This is my birth mother Kathy, who had the courage to love me enough to let me go. The stunning blonde is my mama @barbaragilbertcowan .She is just a magic person. And lucky me, I get to spend today with her.'

'Sending all mothers, stepmothers, God mothers, birth mothers, surrogate mothers, adoptive mothers and anyone who steps in to be a mother to a child who doesn’t have one. I honor you all today,' she wrote.

In 2022, Melissa opened up about losing her adoptive father Paul to suicide when she was a child, saying she didn't learn he had killed himself until she was 45.  She called him 'the most incredibly talented, vivacious, funny, loving, fair person I ever knew.'

Gilbert was adopted by Paul and his wife, actress Barbara, one day after her birth. The couple had been divorced for three years when he died in February 1976.  Like many people at the time, she and her adopted brother, Jonathan Gilbert, were told he died of a stroke in his sleep.  'I didn't know my father had died by suicide for a very, very long time,' she explained. 'I didn't find out till I was 45.'

Gilbert revealed her family's secret in her autobiography, Prairie Tale: A Memoir, which was published in 2009.  Melissa portrayed Laura, aka 'Half Pint', on the popular TV show Little House On The Prairie from 1974 until 1983, appearing in over 200 episodes.  Little House On The Prairie premiered with a pilot movie in March 1974 and celebrated its 50th anniversary last year.  She then continued to work throughout the 1980s and 1990s.  But eventually had to leave Los Angeles because of the 'pressures' she had faced over the years.  'All of the pressures, I faced all of them. When you live in Los Angeles, it's like living at the mall when you work at the mall,' she told People.

'Literally, everyone is in the business. When you walk into a restaurant, every head turns to see who walked in.  Everybody's always looking, curious, competing and that's a really difficult thing, especially for a female actor.'

25

Articles / I was abandoned by my mum in a car park 24 years ago now I've tracked down .....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on June 30, 2025, 06:12:02 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tv/article-14860477/baby-pink-abandoned-car-park-morning.html

I was abandoned by my mum in a car park 24 years ago now I've tracked down my dad and have a message for her I hope she never forgets

By ALEX DOYLE

Published: 12:53, 30 June 2025 | Updated: 14:18, 30 June 2025

A woman abandoned by her birth mother has returned to This Morning today 24 years after her first appearance on the show.  Sarah Meyer was left in a multistory carpark in 2001 and appeared on the ITV show's sofa as a newborn in a bid for police to trace her parents.  At the time, she had been dubbed the 'Baby In Pink' after being found in the Surrey location, wrapped in a pink towel.  More than two decades later, she returned to This Morning to give hosts Cat Deeley and Ben Shephard a major life update.  She told the pair how she was adopted after her appearance as footage showed her being doted on by then-hosts Judy Finnegan and Richard Madeley.  In the clip, Judy, now 77, held Sarah and told viewers: 'This little sprog was abandoned in a multi-story carpark. She was barely an hour old, weighing just 7lbs.'

After watching the tape back, Sarah said: 'It was crazy seeing that again and being back here. It's insane, full circle. I've been able to find my birth parents.  My foster parents have always kept me informed about my past, done it the right way. My backstory they've shown me the clips and newspaper. I've always had my identity and history, that's the way it should be. Any questions I've had, they answered.'

Sarah's search for her birth parents will be documented on Long Lost Family: Born Without A Trace this week.  She continued: 'I'm proud of my story. I wanted to find out what is out there but also wanted to show who is out there that I've had a good life.  I understand they'd also have the question of where am I now I wanted to show them that I'm okay and give them that reassurance. I'm at peace with it and they can put it to bed.  My birth mother thanked everyone for looking after me in a letter. The amount of gratitude of the people who stepped up to be my family is immense, they don't get enough gratitude. Nobody thanks them.  They are the start of the family for those people, Wendy was the start of my family.'

Wendy a police officer originally appeared on This Morning with Sarah in 2001.   Describing her birth father, Sarah told Cat and Ben: 'The fact that me and my dad are so alike is insane my dad didn't even know that I existed. The way he welcomed me into his family was insane. My nan worked in the hospital I was brought into.'

Addressing her birth mother's absence, she said: 'The door is open for my birth mother and always will be. I've had 24 years to process my story. My mum has had a much shorter amount of time to process it. Life is complex.'

Ben and Cat then played a sweet video message from Richard Madeley, filmed from his garden.  The 69-year-old said: 'What an end to an incredible story. We were so passionate about trying to find your family for you.  Huge congratulations from Judy and from me. Have a great rest of your life and lots of love.'

Sarah was joined on the sofa by Ariel Bruce, the lead researcher from Long Lost Family who used Sarah's DNA to finally get her answers on her birth parents.  Speaking about her journey, Ariel said: 'Sarah trusted us with her search and that's the beginning. I'm very grateful to do this sort of work.  We put Sarah's DNA across the four being genealogical sites. We use a combination of those connection and conventional genealogy to build a forensic narrative.  It's a mixture of science, good luck and detective work. It's only the beginning of the story though. Having contact is just the beginning of a lifelong journey.'

26

Articles / The family who saved orphans from the Vietnam War

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on June 28, 2025, 03:56:20 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3v5dn7qv9zo

The family who saved orphans from the Vietnam War

Simon Marks
BBC South

Published 30 May 2025

A family is marking the 50th year since a personal tragedy led to them adopting a baby from Vietnam.  RAF officer Mike Pritchard and his wife Jacquie from Chalgrove in Oxfordshire lost their baby son Steven to cot death while they were in Singapore in 1974.  In a tragic twist, Mrs Pritchard had been to hospital that same day for a sterilisation operation.  During the grief that followed they decided to do something positive. Knowing that the war in Vietnam had created many orphans, they made enquiries about adoption.  "A photograph was sent to us saying 'this is the baby you can have'," said Mrs Pritchard.

Mr Pritchard flew to Saigon to collect the boy, who they named Matthew.  "I held Matthew for the first time. His little eyes, I said 'you're the one for us'. Great, rubber stamped, done," explained Mr Pritchard.

But there was a snag. The paperwork would take six weeks, so Mr Pritchard had to fly back to Singapore without Matthew and wait.  Shortly afterwards, the couple heard news that a transport plane carrying orphan babies to America for safety had crashed with great loss of life.  They feared Matthew might have been on board. Mr Pritchard flew back to Saigon and learned that Matthew was safe. But he had been flown on a different plane to Sydney, Australia.  It was then that Mr Pritchard saw another opportunity.  "I said 'look I know I'll get out of here somehow. Do you want me to take some babies?" he said.

"I was asked, would I also take a 10-year-old blind boy?  I said yes of course! We headed for Hong Kong. All my babies in front of me in cardboard boxes.  A lot of people say I was very brave to do that. I just think I did what I needed to do."

The babies were eventually flown to Britain where they were collected by their new parents.  "Once I knew that these babies were safe with their adoptive families I thought 'this is where you step back'," said Mr Pritchard.

Back in Singapore, the couple waited for the plane that brought Matthew to them.  "We saw this woman walking along carrying this baby, she popped him in my arms and it was amazing," said Mrs Pritchard.

Brothers Philip and Matthew grew up together, attending boarding school and university in England.  Matthew remembers that as a child he attracted some attention.  "Looking back, I can understand people's curiosity. I'm Vietnamese and I've got British parents. But I just felt like a normal child that was loved and brought up", he said.

"The aspect of being rescued from a war zone never really crossed my mind. I feel very British. But I'm also very proud of my heritage and culture."

Matthews parents reflect with mixed emotions on the events of 1974.  "The tragedy of Steven dying. He didn't die in vain," said Mr Pritchard.

"Good always comes out of bad."

27

Articles / Heartbreaking moment man, 58, finally finds birth mother who abandoned him....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on June 26, 2025, 07:57:34 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14827645/Emotional-moment-man-discovers-location-birth-mother-abandoned-baby-not-ready-meet.html

Heartbreaking moment man, 58, finally finds birth mother who abandoned him as a baby but she doesn't want to meet him

    Simon Prothero was discovered in 1966 outside a children's home in Wales
    READ MORE: Woman abandoned in pram as a baby with a heartbreaking note from her impoverished mother finally meets her real siblings after 55 years

By ALANAH KHOSLA FOR MAILONLINE

Published: 11:24, 19 June 2025 | Updated: 11:48, 19 June 2025

A man was left heartbroken after finally locating his birth mother who abandoned him as a newborn baby in 1966 - only for her not to be ready to meet him.  Simon Prothero, 58, was discovered as a young baby outside a toilet block of a children's home in Neath, Wales. Up until recently, he had no information on why or who left him.  Soon after he was found, he was adopted by loving parents and grew up in a village just ten miles away from the children's home. When he was nine, they told him about the details behind his adoption.  Fortunately, Simon enjoyed a happy childhood with his late adoptive parents. But years later, his wife Helen encouraged him to apply to ITV's Long Lost Family: Born Without a Trace to help solve the mystery of his heritage.  'I don't know where I was born when I was born, what the circumstances were. I don't know who my mother is,' Simon said on the latest episode of the show, which aired on ITV yesterday at 9pm.

In September last year, Helen tragically died from cancer. Knowing Helen's wishes, Simon employed the help of Long Lost Family's team and hosts Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell to continue his search for his birth family.  DNA tracing meant that, despite Simon not having a paper trail, researchers managed to track down his birth mother, and Simon finally received the information about who his family are and where he came from.  However, in an emotional turn of events, Simon's birth mother, who is now in her eighties and had him when she was young, unmarried, and on her own without family support, was still not ready for contact with Simon.  At the start of the episode, Simon visited the children's home where he was found for the first time and reflected on his past.  He said, 'I believe I was only a few hours old when I was found', he said, adding, 'Nobody's ever come forward.  I think my mother lived local; I don't think a stranger would have found this place. It's so much to take in. I want to know why she felt like she had to give me up.'

The visit proved to be a poignant experience for Simon, who knew little about his beginnings, and up until recently, had never even seen a photograph of himself as a baby.  'I don't actually have any photographs of myself growing up as a baby, through my childhood, I haven't got anything,' he said.

Though he knew little about his life as a newborn, Simon did enjoy a happy childhood with 'loads of lovely memories'.  'My [adoptive] parents were very loving. They were really good parents, I had a very good upbringing,' he recalled.

When the researchers got to work looking for DNA connections, they also tried to find a photograph of Simon to allow him to see himself as a young baby for the first time.  Luckily, the team located a newsreel of baby Simon from 1966, allowing him to see footage of himself around the time he was found.  'That was the first time I've ever seen myself as a baby. Amazing. It looked as if I was cared for. It's mind blowing to be honest,' he said after watching the clip.

Back at the DNA search, a lead called Noel emerged, which connected Simon to a very large family group from north Wales.  Noel agreed to do a DNA test, which led researchers to identify Simon's birth mother, who is alive and in her eighties.  Researchers discovered that, when Simon was born, his birth mother was young, unmarried, on her own without family support, and the relationship with Simon's birth father had ended.  Unlike Simon's previous assumptions, his birth mother isn't from near the children's home in Neath, but from North Wales. She couldn't recall why she left him in that area.

When Long Lost Family contacted Simon's birth mother, her first reaction was sadly to question, 'Am I going to be in trouble for this?' The team reassured her that it wouldn't be the case.  Davina informed Simon of the findings and that his birth mother is not ready for contact yet, but that the Long Lost Family hope that she might be in the future. There was no information found regarding his birth father.  'I can't quite get my head around it,' Simon said. He added, I was hoping for some sort of answers and a little bit more on my background.  I would like to meet her, but obviously, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. I can't take it in at all to be honest.  Hopefully we do get to meet, it would mean a lot,' Simon added.

Though Simon's birth mother wasn't ready to meet him, other family members, including Noel, gladly welcomed him into the family.  The Long Lost Family team didn't explain Simon's exact connection to Noel to protect his birth mother's identity.  At the end of the episode, Simon met three generations of his birth family's relatives and exchanged addresses with them.  Simon concluded, 'I've had a few answers, I'd like to have a few more, but it's been a good day,' he said.

28

Articles / High school teacher, 36, is accused of sexually assaulting and murdering ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on June 26, 2025, 07:34:19 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14809131/Man-36-charged-murder-13-month-old-boy.html

High school teacher, 36, is accused of sexually assaulting and murdering 13-month-old boy he was in the process of adopting

By OLIVIA CHRISTIE and SHANNON MCGUIGAN

Published: 10:24, 13 June 2025 | Updated: 14:43, 13 June 2025

A 36-year-old has been accused of sexually assaulting and murdering a 13-month-old baby boy he was in the process of adopting.  Jamie Varley of Lancashire has been charged with the murder of toddler, Preston Davey following his death in Blackpool on July 27, 2023.  The one-year-old was brought unresponsive into Blackpool Victoria Hospital at around 7.15pm that evening but tragically died shortly after.  Varley, who is a teacher, is also accused of multiple counts of assault, cruelty and indecent images all relating to the baby.  He was in the process of adopting Preston along with co-accused John McGowan-Fazakerley, 31, who also appeared in court.  The 36-year-old only spoke to confirm his identity during the brief, five-minute hearing at Lancaster Magistrates' Court on Friday.  The defendant, is also accused of one count of manslaughter, two counts of assault by penetration of a child, five counts of child cruelty, one count of inflicting grievous bodily harm, and one count of sexual assault of a child.  He is further accused of 10 counts of taking indecent photographs of a child, one count of distributing indecent photographs of a child, two counts of possessing indecent pseudo images of a child, and one count of possession of an extreme pornographic image.  District Judge Richard Thompson, addressing Varley, said: 'You are charged with a number of offences.  The murder of Preston Davey, manslaughter, assault by penetration, a number of sexual assaults, grievous bodily harm and also the possession, taking and distribution of indecent and extreme images.  You know what all the charges are and you understand them?'

Varley, who was wearing a beige polo shirt with collar-length dark hair with blond streaks, nodded in reply.  After he was taken down, his co-accused, McGowan-Fazakerley, was then brought into the dock for a second short hearing.  He is charged with allowing the death of a child, as well as two counts of child cruelty and one count of sexual assault of a child.  The defendant, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt patterned with images of owls and half-moons, confirmed his identity and was also remanded into custody.  All the charges for both men, spanning between March and July of 2023, relate to Preston Davey.  Varley was suspended as teacher at South Shore Academy in Blackpool when he was arrested in 2023, the Cidari Multi-Academy Trust which now runs the school said.  Both men, who lived in Grimsargh near Preston, will next appear at Preston Crown Court on Monday.  Chief Crown Prosecutor Suzanne Llewellyn previously said: 'The Crown Prosecution Service has authorised the prosecution of two men in relation to the death of a 13-month-old boy in Blackpool.  Jamie Varley, 36, of Grimsargh in Lancashire, has been charged with the murder of baby Preston Davey, in addition to a series of serious sexual and child cruelty offences.  John McGowan-Fazakerley, 31, of Grimsargh in Lancashire, has been charged with allowing the death of a child, in addition to child cruelty and sexual offences.  The Crown Prosecution Service has worked closely with Lancashire Police following a detailed police investigation, to review the available evidence and advise on the appropriate charges.  We recognise the profoundly distressing nature of the alleged crimes however we remind all concerned that criminal proceedings against these defendants are now active, and they have a right to a fair trial.  It is extremely important that there should be no reporting, commentary or sharing of information online which could in any way prejudice these proceedings.'

29

Articles / I was branded Britain's most hated woman for buying twin babies online ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on June 22, 2025, 08:05:44 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14831519/Britain-hated-woman-buying-twin-babies.html

I was branded Britain's most hated woman for buying twin babies online for £8k in 'cash for babies scandal' here's what happened next

    Do YOU have a story? Email tips@dailymail.com

By STEWART WHITTINGHAM

Published: 16:04, 22 June 2025 | Updated: 17:08, 22 June 2025

She was branded the most hated woman in Britain after paying more than £8,000 to buy twin babies from the US on the internet.  Judith Kilshaw found herself at the centre of an international scandal after adopting the six-month old girls who had already been sold to a childless couple in America.  More than 20 years on, Judith admits her life had been 'plagued' by the global controversy which ended with her losing the children along with her home and her marriage.  But defiant Judith, 71, insists she has 'no regrets' and told how she has not given up hope of being reunited with the twins.  Speaking exclusively to MailOnline from her home in Wrexham, Judith told MailOnline: 'I have thought a lot about the case over the years and asked myself if I regretted doing it.  To a certain extent it has plagued my life it never goes away.  It was a nightmare to start with but time heals things. There's bigger things to think about.  But I have no regrets. I thought I could give the girls a better life and give them opportunities in life.  I would still love to talk to the girls to make sure they are OK and answer any questions they might have.  I am open to speaking to them but I have never spoken to them. But if they wanted to, I would love to get in touch.'

Judith and her solicitor husband Alan sparked a 'cash-for babies' outcry in 2001 after they paid £8,200 to adopt Kiara and Keyara Wecker.   They brought the twins, who they renamed Belinda and Kimberley, to Britain hoping to start a new life as a family at their seven-bedroom farmhouse in Buckley, north Wales.  But things did not go according to plan.  Then-prime minister Tony Blair called the adoption deal 'disgusting' and the twins were seized by social services and taken into emergency protection.  They were returned to the US after a High Court judge annulled the adoption.  Since then, Judith settled back into relative obscurity but much has happened in the intervening years, which can be revealed for the first time by MailOnline.  In the aftermath of the scandal, things were never quite the same for the couple and, saddled with debts over the affair, they were evicted from their farmhouse months later.  They moved into a bungalow in Chester but their 14-year marriage ended after Judith met a man 13 years her junior in a nightclub.  Despite the split, she remained close to Alan and was at his bedside when he died aged 63 in January 2019.  At the time she told of her sadness that he had never fulfilled his dream of meeting the girls again.  She said: 'He told me he had always regarded the twins as ours and his last wish was for me to go to America and try to make contact with them.  I don't know if this will be possible but I will do everything I can to honour his dying request.'

Before the baby storm erupted, the couple had lived an anonymous, if somewhat eccentric, middle-class life in rural north Wales.  They already had two sons and Judith had two grown up children from her first marriage.  The couple wanted to have a daughter together but Judith was too old to conceive.  They had spent £4,000 on unsuccessful IVF treatment and had looked into surrogacy before they turned to an online adoption agency in desperation.  The US-based agency called A Caring Heart was run by Tina Johnson who was acting on behalf of the mother of the mixed race twins, Tranda Wecker, who was aged 28 at the time.  Tranda, a hotel receptionist from Missouri, had fallen pregnant as her second marriage was coming to an end and had decided to part with her children.  Unbeknown to Judith and Alan, the broker had already arranged the adoption of the twins with Californian couple Richard and Vickie Allen.  They had paid £4,000 for the adoption and had cared for them for two months.  Tranda reportedly had a change of heart and, while the couple were in the process of finalising legal paperwork, she was given permission to say a final farewell to her daughters.  The American couple were told that Tranda wanted to spend two days with the twins - but instead they were handed to Judith and Alan.  They set off with the twins to get their birth certificates before making a gruelling 1,500-mile car journey to Little Rock Arkansas, where adoption is relatively easy, with the Allens in hot pursuit.  After a five-minute hearing the couple return to Britain with the twins and their adoption papers.  But the FBI were called in to probe the case amid a bitter transatlantic war of words and a legal battle over the girls' future.  The children were returned to the US in April 2001 where they were placed in foster care before a third set of parents eventually raised them.  Judith has always insisted she did nothing wrong or illegal and believed the adoption would be in the best interests of the twins.  But, in the aftermath of the affair, the couple racked up debts of £70,000.  They were forced to quit the farmhouse where they lived with three of Judith's children along with six dogs, more than a dozen cats, two ferrets, a horse, a pony and two pot-bellied pigs.  In the wake of her fight, Judith tried to get elected as an MP in 2005 after standing as an independent candidate in her local Alyn and Deeside constituency insisting she wanted to 'stand up for the little people'.  She split with Alan in 2006 and three years later she married Stephen Sillett, who was described at the time as a busker.  In the aftermath of the split, Judith was investigated for alleged benefits fraud arising from her living arrangements following the break-up.  In a bizarre twist, Alan gave his ex-wife away when she married Stephen at Wrexham Register Office in 2009.  She had a volatile relationship with her third husband and in 2012, Judith pleaded guilty at Wrexham Magistrates Court to assaulting Stephen after hitting over the head with a Christmas bauble following a row.  Stephen had accused Judith, who now goes by her married name Sillett, of having an affair, she says.  Judith told MailOnline: 'It was hardly crime of the century. He probably deserved it.  However we stayed together. We are still legally married but have split up.  We're still friends and speak all the time.'

Meanwhile Alan had been struck down with pulmonary fibrosis, a serious lung disease, which left him in hospital for months before his death.  Judith told how Stephen became jealous as she nursed her ex husband through his illness which led to her giving up her job as a cleaner in the Co-op.  She told MailOnline: 'There were three of us in the relationship and men can't really handle that can they?  I think he didn't like the attention I was giving Alan.'

Of her life now she added: 'I now live with my son. I don't work as I have retired but I'm a bit of an agony aunt to all my friends.'

Speaking from his terraced home in a village near Wrexham, Stephen, now 58, said: 'We're still legally married but are not together anymore.  I don't think we can afford to get divorced.'

Judith heard nothing more about the fate of the twins until 2018 when it was revealed they were starting university after being brought up by a loving churchgoing family in Missouri.  Their adoptive mother said at the time: 'They have grown into fine young women, each with their own dreams and ambitions.'

Since then two TV documentaries have been made about the case one called Three Mothers, two Babies and a Scandal, which was shown on Amazon Prime in 2022 while a second named The Baby Scandal That Shocked The World was screened on Channel 5 last year.  Judith told MailOnline: 'The case and furore of it all, never really goes away.  In fact I was recognised by a woman in the supermarket the other day.  She kept on staring at me, trying to work out who I was. Then she spoke to me asking if I was the woman from the babies case.  She recognised me from being on telly a few years ago, but it was positive. She said I came across really well.'

30

General Discussion / Pro-Adoption Terminology

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on June 20, 2025, 04:39:35 PM »

https://ellecuardaigh.com/2017/06/29/pro-adoption-terminology/comment-page-1/#respond

Pro-Adoption Terminology
by ellecuardaigh   

If you find yourself somehow involved in adoption, you will need to learn a new language: Pro-Adoption Language. These same words in the rest of society have completely different meanings. It is very important to know the correct terms, or people get their feelings hurt and the Culture of Adoption suffers.

Adoption: The act of legally severing ties to biological parents and replacing them with strangers who become the Real Parents.

Abortion: 1) Terminating what would have been the perfect child that the Adoptive Parent always wanted. 2) The thing all Adopted Children have been saved from.

*Adopted Child: Baby who was placed in the Wrong Tummy and was saved from Abortion by the Real Parents.

Adoptee: Newer, discouraged term for an Adopted Child.

Adopted Adult: ....what?

Birthmother or Birth Mother: A lesser mother, inferior to an Adoptive or Real Mother.

Birth Father: The man who gave birth to the Adopted Child.

Grateful: What good Adopted Children are. Forever.

Pregnancy: The condition of incubation that brings an Adopted Child to their Forever Family. See also: The Wrong Tummy.

Growing Your Family Through Adoption: Method of increasing numbers in a nuclear family through non-biological means. See also: Legal Human Trafficking.

Original Birth Certificate: The wrong birth certificate.

Amended Birth Certificate: The only birth certificate.

Real Parents: The Adoptive Parents. Continues to apply after death, divorce, abandonment, or criminal acts against the Adoptive Child. Can only be nullified through Rehoming by the Real-But-Regretful Parents.

Rehoming: Recycling Adopted Children online when they weren't the perfect puppy  accessory their Forever Parents thought they would be. Not to be confused with Failed Adoption.

Called To Adopt: God telling people (mainly White, American, Christian, married, heterosexual people) that He put babies in the Wrong Tummy for them to rescue from abortion or living outside the US.

Spirit of Adoption: Line found in Romans 8:15 that completely justifies the appropriation of other people's children. Cross reference: Job 24:9.

Surrogate: The Birth Mother in cases of deliberately created half-adoptees. Less used: Gestational Mother or Rent-A-Womb. See also: Concubine.

Donor: Someone who is paid for their procreative genetic bits, to be used elsewhere.

Sperm Donor: Handsome medical students who don't really need the money but take it anyway, for the act of beating off into a cup. See also: Birth Father.

Egg Donor: Woman who is given monetary compensation that nearly covers the physical/emotional trauma of extracting eggs from her body. See also: Birth Mother.

Infertility: A condition that can only be cured by heeding the Call To Adopt.

Adoption Fundraiser: Begging for the money necessary to bring home the Adopted Child to their Forever Family, which could not possibly be used instead to help the Birth Mother raise the child – yeah, just forget I said that.

Failed Adoption: Would-be Adopted Child who stayed with the Birth Mother, thus destroying hopes and dreams of the Real Parents.

Successful Adoption: Completed transaction where the legal and biological ties between the Adopted Child and Birth Family are obliterated.

Clear Title: Legalese meaning no other claims on an Adopted Child and/or motor vehicles.

Biology: Base origins that do not matter.

DNA: Unfortunate genetic markers that make up our entire beings that still do not matter.

Searching: How Adopted Children hurt their Real Parents.

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): Condition afflicting Adoptive Children that is never, ever the fault of the

Love: The only emotion involved in Adoption, which negates any other feeling that may arise, and also fixes any problem, except RAD.

Triad: Triangle representing the three sides of Adoption. Note: always scalene.

Orphan: All Internationally Adopted Children, who are saved by being brought to America and raised White. Can have up to two living biological parents. Also possible to find out upon adulthood they aren't as "Real" as they thought they were and subject to deportation.

Make An Adoption Plan: What Birthmothers do of their own free will, with absolutely no coercion involved. Sometimes referred to as TPR.

Reunion: Misnomer for the sometimes unfortunate end to Searching, since one cannot "reunite" with someone they never knew. Better term: Breaking Real Parents' Hearts.

Abandon: What all Birth Mothers do while Making An Adoption Plan.

Chosen: How Adopted Children feel about being Abandoned. See also: Lucky.

Secrets, Lies, and Vetoes: Ways to keep Adopted Children in their rightful place permanently infantilized. See also: Narcissism.

*Oh, I apologize. Apparently "Adopted Child" has also fallen out of favor. Now the preferred term is "MY CHILD" because making someone feel owned is the ultimate in parenting. Notice the individual is still a child. Also, note they were adopted, not are adopted, because adoption status expires upon adulthood when the individual becomes either the biological offspring of the adoptive parents through Adoption Magic, or the non-person they always were, in which case they are "bitter."

Elle Cuardaigh is author of The Tangled Red Thread, and yes, she is bitter.

Post-Script: This is was written as an indictment against the false-positive language that has evolved as the Adoption Industry has grown. It has happened to keep the machinery running to keep those Adoptlings coming down the chute and to keep those in the business employed. This has nothing to do with the good people I know who have adopted with the best of intentions and eyes wide open, including my own adoptive parents who never tried to force any of this double-speak on me.