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71

Articles / Identical twin sisters separated at birth finally meet after 30 years only ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 24, 2024, 11:42:26 AM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13996337/twin-sisters-separated-birth-meet-decide-dont-like-other.html

Identical twin sisters separated at birth finally meet after 30 years only to decide they don't like each other

By Ed Holt

Published: 10:51, 24 October 2024 | Updated: 10:53, 24 October 2024

A pair of identical twin sisters who were separated at birth and by chance met online 30 years later have stopped speaking after they decided they don't like each other.  Zhang Li and Cheng Keke, from Henan, China, met on social media in 2021 after noticing how similar they both looked.  As they exchanged messages the ladies discovered, via a DNA test, that they were identical twins and their families admitted that they had been separated at birth.  The two reconnected and claimed they quickly felt an incredible sisterly connection. However, this would soon transform into a sibling rivalry.  Their story quickly went viral online in China and Li and Keke decided to use their fame and began an e-commerce business.  Over the next few years they worked together, however, their relationship was marked by frequent conflicts and disagreements.  Their relationship ultimately lasted only three years and as of now they haven't spoken in six months.  According to the slightly younger sister, Keke, whenever they live-streamed to promote their products, Li often left without notice, sometimes disappearing for two or three days at a time.  Keke said: 'She never said anything when she left, and I could never find her. That's not the kind of work attitude I like.'

The situation worsened one night when Li secretly moved all their shared belongings out of their rental apartment while Keke was away, leading to a major argument between them.  Although that dispute was resolved, ongoing tensions persisted.  Keke claims that she always had to cover the rent, meals, and other daily expenses whenever they travelled for live-streaming events.  This was despite her sister promising they would split costs equally, which never happened.  From Li's perspective, the two had very different personalities: she was straightforward, while her sister tended to bottle things up and engage in 'silent treatment.'  Li also blamed Keke for the failure of many of their live-streaming ventures, stating that over the years they had lost as much as 600,000 Chinese Yuan (£65,000).  She said: 'So I told her directly that I wouldn't be doing live-streaming with her anymore.'

After their failure in live-streaming, Li decided to open a physical store in her hometown of Dengfeng.  Keke travelled there to support her sister, but their relationship finally collapsed during a heated argument over the store's management and the amount of investment each had contributed.  The relationship between the sisters, already strained, finally broke down completely after yet another work-related fight in January 2023.  Li reportedly had an outburst and yelled at Keke, and although she later regretted it, Keke could not forgive her and never returned.  This incident six months ago was the last time the two sisters saw each other.

72

Articles / Forced adoption survivors disappointed at government response to inquiry

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 22, 2024, 05:53:15 PM »

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-10-22/wa-government-responds-to-forced-adoption-inquiry/104452142?fbclid=IwY2xjawGEtD5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHSlFn4C8pi3n3MPXEjy0KeCkYOFSb1ad1Idlg8Qh3qYrVBZz4TRtNzmA7g_aem_8f51APJ9eh6QdwPZ-MrNXQ

Forced adoption survivors disappointed at government response to inquiry

By Claire Moodie

Topic:Adoption

10h ago

In short:

The WA government has responded to a landmark report into forced adoptions in the state between 1939 until the early 1980s. Mothers whose babies were taken away, as well as people who were removed as newborns, gathered at Parliament House on Tuesday to witness the tabling.  The government said it supported the majority of the report's recommendations, but would give "further consideration" to 14 recommendations including the establishment of the crucial redress scheme for both mothers and adoptees.

Survivors of the so-called forced adoption era in Western Australia have expressed disappointment after the state government failed to commit to a financial redress scheme and end what they call the "ongoing secrecy" surrounding adoption.  Mothers whose babies were taken away from 1939 to the early 1980s, as well as people who were removed as newborns, gathered at Parliament House on Tuesday to witness the tabling of the government's response to a recent inquiry.  The inquiry's 470-page report took aim at both state government departments and private institutions, saying they "funnelled" unmarried mothers into adoption against their will.  It found the women were psychologically abused, coerced into the adoptions of their babies and many endured horrific treatment in private institutions.  The government said it supported the majority of the report's recommendations to address the on-going trauma faced by survivors, but would give "further consideration" to 14 recommendations, including a redress scheme for both mothers and adoptees.  Adoptee Jen McRae, who led the push for the inquiry, said she is stunned that the government can't yet make a firm commitment.  "The state government can totally afford redress for forced adoption survivors and for the stolen generation," she said.

"We can absolutely do the right thing for these people who've had their lives absolutely ruined by government policy."

The government also rejected a recommendation to notify all adopted persons not already aware of their adopted status, saying that it would have the potential to cause significant psychological harm and distress to individuals.  But Ms McRae said people have a right to know the truth. "It's absolutely a human right to know who you are and where you came from and the medical knowledge you need to know as you get older," she said.

The supported recommendations include setting up a forced adoption reference group to guide the improvement of mental health services, access to information and legislative changes.

The tabling of the response comes 14 years after WA became the first state in the country to apologise for the forced adoption practices of last century.

'It's impacted every facet of my life'

At an event to mark the anniversary yesterday, mother Louise Kirk, who became pregnant at 16 and was coerced into signing adoption papers, said redress was long overdue to properly acknowledge the severe lifelong harm caused by the practice.

"Saying sorry is wonderful but you know what's it's like someone says sorry to you prove it, show me you are sorry, show me in your actions. Actions speak louder than words," she said.

"We were just children, we were pregnant children and we had a baby and that was our sin and the punishment has continued.  It's impacted every facet of my life, starting with the total removal of self esteem."

Dire financial position

For 78-year-old Lynne Devine, Tuesday's announcement comes after 40 years of campaigning for justice.  She has been involved in every small step of progress, including a 2013 national apology by Julia Gillard.  Ms Devine said many mothers had already passed away,  but those that remained needed financial help.  "There are very many women in dire straits who've lost a child and have never really recovered and have never been able to pick their lives up. Now they're trying to live on an old age pension and they've got nothing behind them," Ms Devine said.

The report's 39 recommendations included that institutions run by Ngala, the Salvation Army and the Sisters of Mercy participate in a redress scheme.  In February, the Victorian government introduced the first redress scheme for mothers in the country.  It expects more than 3,000 women who were separated from their infants at birth to apply for the $138 million program, which includes access to counselling and psychological support and an individual apology process.  Speaking in  the WA state parliament, Minister for Child Protection, Sabine Winton, said a redress program would be considered.  "The Cook Government recognises that for many people redress signifies an important step in the formal recognition of their experience, to hold responsible agencies and the institutions to account and to support healing," she said.

"The required work is currently being undertaken to comprehensively consider a redress scheme for WA."

73

General Discussion / Re: Devotions

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 22, 2024, 05:20:18 PM »

https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2024/03/12/what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_5Rb6t-3XOfUkw2A__k1cVpZ4M91z8yVpqqEOm8v0gHQHw-SrFOaQsa84-0qOPUHhpbdIHhkHy2WZj0apKnmVp8JVGEg&_hsmi=295276087&utm_content=295276087&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do
March 12, 2024
by Nicki Koziarz

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17 (ESV)

A few months ago, after five persistent years, our family welcomed three boys through international adoption.  The wait was hard, brutal at times, and filled with complications that caused multiple delays. It seemed so unfair to everyone involved, especially the boys.    One of our boys has a significant medical issue, and the older he grew, the more complicated the healing process would be. Each year that passed, we held that reality.  Adopting older children can be challenging, so we prepared our minds with books, videos, podcasts and therapy. We did the work.  We prepared our home, finances and lives to add three more children to the mix. We did everything we could to get ready.  But sometimes, no matter how much you prepare for something, you cannot prepare for what the thing will actually be like. Which is why, after a long, sleepless week of navigating a surgery and complicated recovery process with our son, I found myself on the bathroom floor, crying and asking, “What do I do now?”

Nothing was like we thought it would be.  Things were way more complicated than we were prepared for.  I was getting to the point where I felt like I was in way over my head.  Maybe you’ve been there too. The email that leaves you wordless, the text update you couldn’t have imagined, or the phone call that leaves your emotions tangled in a knot. Sometimes when we’re asking the question, What do I do now? we need something tangible to hold on to.  That day, I recalled James 3:17. And I knew I had a choice: Have a pity party or declare the power of God’s wisdom. I choose the latter.  I began making biblical declarations over my situation, and instead of asking God why, I shifted to, What does this mean?

I proclaimed James 3:17 over this situation, and within a few hours, I had some clarity on what our next steps could be.  But more than anything, my soul had peace. This is the promise James 3:17 offers us when we choose to seek wisdom from above:  “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

In this season, I’m learning to rely on the wisdom of God. He is the only One who sees the entire picture. He knows the things I don’t. He understands things doctors cannot.  Yes, sometimes I find myself teetering to a place where the bathroom floor beckons me back. I am human, and so are you. No one expects you to walk through hard times in perfection.  But choose to stay in the process of seeking godly wisdom, and somehow, with the power of God, you’ll know what to do when you don’t know what to do.

74

Articles / Survivor demand justice for those affected by Mother and Baby Homes

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 18, 2024, 04:13:27 PM »

https://www.impartialreporter.com/news/24655681.survivor-demand-justice-affected-mother-baby-homes/?ref=twtrec&fbclid=IwY2xjawF_SdNleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHXC6ql4Ydut4ClHIti5wMGK0u3mUwoEcWBOcDamfRz8ZVnESxniEtvNpWA_aem_Kr1didb8M3Un9CJYLAkCPA

Survivor demand justice for those affected by Mother and Baby Homes
17th October

“A cold place with an itchy blanket” is how one survivor of a mother-and-baby home described the place where she was born and separated from her mother.

Mechelle Dillon is one of those from this area who is leading the call for justice for thousands of women and children impacted by Northern Ireland'smother-and-baby homes, Magdalene Laundries, and Workhouses.  Mrs. Dillon who lives outside Omagh was born in 1969 in Daisyhill Hospital in Newry after her mother, Brenda was placed in Marianvale Mother and Baby Home at the age of 21 before they were separated.  Mechelle is the Secretary of the Birth Mothers and Their Children for Justice Northern Ireland group which was founded in 2013, the group seeks to get justice for all of those impacted by institutions such as mother-and-baby homes.  The Executive Office of Northern Ireland is currently working toward a statutory Public Inquiry and Financial Redress Scheme for those impacted by mother-and-baby homes, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses.   She said: “We speak for the dead as well as the living, the dead don’t have a voice anymore. They were failed in life and they can’t be failed in death either.”

The scale is large and the group believes that there are survivors everywhere.  She said: “If you went out and spoke to people about this, every person you speak to would know someone who has been affected or was adopted. Nearly every other house would know someone.”
 
Citing a report from Queen's University, Belfast, she said: “At least 10,500 women and young girls, some as young as the age of 12, had passed through the homes and institutions.”

Other figures suggest there could be as many as 13,500 women impacted by the homes.  Reflecting on the scale of the institutions, Mechelle noted that the institutions were run on “both sides of the community” and there were around a dozen in Northern Ireland.  However, there were none in the Fermanagh and Omagh area.  Reflecting on the experience of her family, she said: “We call them homes, but they wouldn't really be homes, homes are somewhere nice, warm and comfortable, these were called cold places with itchy blankets".

She added: "I was in the home with my mother for about six weeks, until my mother then was passed on back home again, and I was placed into foster care and children's homes.  In and out, in and out.  Eventually, my mother met somebody, and he said that he would take her to England and get married so that she could get me back. He wasn't the father.   I was about two when she got me back."

Brenda, Mechelle's mother has since died and she described her death as another trauma following their separation at birth.  She said she is "determined" to get justice for anyone who has been affected, particularly those living within Fermanagh and Omagh.  "We want to try and reach out to any older generations, let them know that there's an inquiry happening and that anyone is that's been affected is entitled to their justice so that there's no more shame or stigma", she said.

Noting there is a cross-Border element to how the institutions were run, Mechelle said: “There were a lot of women who taken from the north to the south to have their babies.  hey wouldn't be included on this because it's only if you had your baby [or were born] in the North.   Anyone that had their baby in the South needs to contact the commission in the Republic.”

Fermanagh and Omagh District Council responded to the Executive Offices consultation on behalf of survivors living is the district.  In its response, the Council expressed its disappointment at the length of time taken for an Inquiry and Redress Scheme to take place, with 34 years having passed since the last mother-and-baby home closed.  The Council states that women and children impacted by these institutions, including those in very rural areas within Fermanagh and Omagh, must receive fair, generous and sincere justice promptly and effectively.  It also puts forward a number of recommendations on appropriate acts of remembrance, memorialisation and acknowledgement.  The Council’s response also states that an apology is needed from government and the organisations that ran those institutions.  The response also calls for the government and relevant organisations to admit that pregnant women should have had the right to give birth to and care for their baby, and that the stigma and shame for these women needs to be removed and replaced with the compassion they were denied.  Birth Mothers and their Children for Justice are encouraging people to contact the enquiry and other relevant bodies if they have been affected by institutions such as mother-and-baby homes, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses.

You can contact the Birth Mothers and their Children for justice via birthmothersforjustice.n.i@hotmail.com or 07513874371.

75

Articles / 'They just took the baby away': Family speaks out in church-run homes scandal

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 18, 2024, 03:17:57 PM »

https://www.itv.com/news/2024-10-15/they-just-took-the-baby-away-family-speaks-out-in-church-run-homes-scandal?fbclid=IwY2xjawF_SghleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHS6wOTi6rdXudbdLAYTPgk67C-cOGvQoOORyYDaUyphmlvYS6A5mt5xaHg_aem_OcVPvxGeNN1NCZwomKJMYA

'They just took the baby away': Family speaks out in church-run homes scandal

Wednesday 16 October 2024 at 10:27pm

Sarah Corker Social Affairs Correspondent

Further allegations of abuse and neglect at a former church-run mother and baby home in Cumbria have emerged, following an ITV News investigation. Earlier this year we revealed that 45 babies who had died at St Monica’s home - in Kendal were buried in an unmarked grave in the town’s cemetery.  St Monica’s was one of hundreds of homes for unmarried mothers across England.  Between 1949 and the mid-1970s, an estimated 200,000 women were sent away to homes run by churches and the state where they were pressured and coerced in to give up their babies for adoption. Other infants died through poor care.  Since our first report aired in July, the family of one of those children has come forward and told ITV News that their mother was lied to about the fate of her baby daughter, Faith, and was never told where she was buried.  Norah Everard was in her 80s, and dying from cancer, when she told her family for the first time about the trauma she’d endured decades earlier as a teenager in 1941.  Pregnant and unmarried, she was sent away to St Monica’s, which was run by the Diocese of Carlisle, to have her baby.  Norah’s son Bob Chubb recounted the details that his late mother shared with him and his wife Carole about the "cruel" home.  “We were all round the table one Christmas, and she said ‘I’ve got something important to tell you both. Bob you weren’t my first born’, and then she told me about being raped as a young school girl, going to St Monica’s in Kendal to have the baby, and the baby was stillborn, called Faith,” Bob told ITV News.

Burial records seen by ITV News suggest that Norah was lied to, they show that Faith wasn’t stillborn and that she had lived for 12 hours and was later buried in an unmarked grave at Parkside Cemetery in Kendal one of the 45 babies who were buried in secrecy.

If you’d like to share your story please get in touch with Sarah on the following email: Investigations@itv.com

“I don’t think she was told the truth. I think some terrible things went on,” Mr Chubb said.

Carole Chubb, Bob’s wife, said: “It really really disgusts me. They just took the baby away and said the baby’s dead and that’s it. Did they even given her any milk? Would she have survived? “Norah told me it was cruel place, they made the women scrub floors when they were heavily pregnant and they were refused pain relief in labour as a punishment.”

Concerns have been raised by other families about the poor care of sick and premature babies at the home in the decades after the war, while official documents from the archives paint a disturbing picture of neglect, cruelty and suffering inside St Monica’s. Bob revealed that he too was born prematurely at the same home in the late 1940s, and feels ‘lucky’ that he survived.  The acting Bishop of Carlisle Rt Rev Rob Saner-Haigh described what had happened to Norah and her daughter as ‘wrong’ and said he was ‘really sorry’ for the way women and children had been treated.  Since allegations of abuse first emerged, 20 people with a connection to St Monica’s have contacted the Diocese requesting access to their family records. “The Church of England should do all it can to support people who have lived with the trauma. We need to listen and give them a choice in decision making so they can tell us what they need and as an organisation we show them the love and dignity that they weren’t shown before,” he said.

The family of another baby, Stephen Holt, who died aged 3 months old at the home in 1964, are now campaigning for a permanent memorial to the 45 babies.  It was years later when baby Stephen’s mother Judith Hindley first told her husband, also called Stephen, of the abuse she endured at the ‘draconian’ home in the late 1960s. "Judith was 17 at the time and told me how she was forced to clean floors and kitchens while heavily pregnant. They were being punished,” he said. “Her son Stephen was born with disabilities and needed to go to hospital, but he was cruelly denied proper medical care and died 11 weeks later.”

She never recovered from that trauma and in 2006, Judith took her own life close to the cemetery where her baby is buried.
Cumbria Police has confirmed it is still investigating allegations of historic abuse at St Monica’s and said it "would welcome any new information which would assist officers…following concerns raised in relation to these premises". Westmorland and Furness District Council which owns the cemetery where the graves are located said: “We are currently exploring options and reaching out to others who may wish to be involved or consulted on the possibility of marking the unmarked graves at Parkside Road cemetery, Kendal relating to the former St Monica’s Maternity home."

Department for Education spokesperson said: "We have the deepest sympathy with all of those who are affected, the practice was abhorrent and should never have taken place.  "While we will not be able to quickly make every change we would like, we will look at whether there is any more we could do to support those affected."

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Articles / Couple adopted vulnerable children to abuse

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 14, 2024, 11:43:57 AM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-68629466

Couple adopted vulnerable children to abuse

Published 22 March

By Steve Knibbs & Maisie Lillywhite
BBC West, Gloucestershire

Abuse poisoned generations of a family after children's allegations and sexualised behaviour were not acted upon, a report has revealed.

The abuse began with Couple A in Gloucestershire, who specifically asked to adopt an "emotionally disturbed" child so they could assault them.  The couple, eventually jailed in 2018, went on to adopt four siblings, beginning a cycle of sexual abuse that lasted for years.  The report said agencies "fell short".   Couple A, who cannot be named for legal reasons, adopted the four young siblings, who had been abused by their birth parents, in the 1990s.  Police describe Couple A as "wealthy" and "people you wouldn't suspect", with the woman "a pillar of the community and a church-goer with a very successful job".

An adoption form written by a social worker in the area they had been living at the time outside of Gloucestershire shows they asked for a child who was "emotionally disturbed".  Gloucestershire Constabulary's Det Sgt Grace Craddock, who led the police investigation, said they "sought out children that were traumatised".

"I believe it was so they could have access to children who wouldn't be believed if they were to talk out," she said.

Couple A were jailed for a total of 23 years between them for abusing two of their adopted children.  But one of the other siblings, along with her husband, later abused two of their own children. In 2023, Couple B were jailed for a total of 17 years.  Det Sgt Craddock said the dominating factor over the entire family was the mother of Couple A, who she described as "one of the most manipulative people I have ever met".

The mother sat in on meetings with social services and schools, making sure nothing was said that could implicate them.  "It's clear from the material that we've reviewed in the last seven years that she pulled the wool over the eyes of every professional that became involved," Det Sgt Craddock said.

"There were certain points, over the years, social care would get involved, they'd look over allegations but she was always considered the safe factor and that allowed her access to the children."

Police said the victims of the family were undergoing therapy and "living with trauma every day".  "It's taken years for them to feel ready to talk about what's happened," Det Sgt Craddock said.

"Going through a court case for any child is extremely difficult.  They've got closure thankfully but those offences have happened to them and they have to process that going into adulthood. We don't just finish the investigation and close that door, the support is ongoing."

'More and more evidence'

In 2010, Gloucestershire Constabulary did not prosecute Couple A after one of the children said she had been abused.  The CPS was not consulted and no legal advice was taken, despite evidence the father had been downloading indecent images of children, for which he was later cautioned.  When Couple B's children started going to primary school, teachers noticed a pattern of worrying behaviour.  "Pete", a member of staff, told the BBC that the school began to notice "more and more evidence of quite significant sexualised behaviour" as each sibling joined.

Despite referrals to children's services, and concerns also shown from staff in probation, social services and at a children's centre, Pete and his colleagues felt they were pushed back by the local authority.  "It was very much 'this will not get past legal' and I found that frustrating because I said 'I'm not here to try and get a legal outcome I'm here to try and get these children protected'," Pete said.

"And it would be 'well, they haven't said anything' and I would go on saying 'they don't have to have said anything' their behaviour was screaming at us and that wasn't being taken account of.  That was quite disturbing because these children would have been coached, threatened, you know, and scripted 'if you're asked this, this is what you say'."

'Apologise unreservedly'

A report by Gloucestershire Safeguarding Partnership was published on Friday, external into the background of the failings that led to the creation of Operation Acorne, an investigation involving a number of local agencies in July 2017.  Eleven children connected to four families were taken into police protection and local authority care. Two other families had convictions for neglect, but the victims of Couples A and B finally saw their abusers brought to justice and jailed.  The failings in the system were against a backdrop of a deterioration in children's services in Gloucestershire revealed in 2017.  In June of that year, the same month that Operation Acorne was set up, Ofsted announced it had found "serious and widespread failures" in children's services in Gloucestershire.  It said that "too many children were being left in situations at risk of significant harm for too long" because dangers were not recognised.  The county council's director of children's services, Ann James, apologised "unreservedly" for the authority's "not joined up or adequate" initial response.  "Whilst these circumstances are thankfully very rare, our focus during the years since this abuse was uncovered has been to, along with our partners, act in response to mistakes that were made and to strengthen how we work together to effectively safeguard children in the county," she said.

"Although these events occurred up to 15 years ago, the findings and the recommendations serve as a reminder to us all that we must all remain vigilant and unwavering in our protection of children."

Earlier this week the council apologised over the failures which led to a child being abused by her carer.  The report highlighted that in 2016 police did not look into the allegations of sexualised behaviour because the children involved were under the age of criminal responsibility.  It said: "This deflected the professional child protection network from a more fundamental question: 'Where had the children involved learnt this behaviour?'."

Addressing the missed opportunity to prosecute Couple A, Assistant Chief Constable Arman Mathieson said Gloucestershire police was "sorry for the consequences of not taking action at an earlier stage".

"In relation to the police failing identified in the report, specifically that we did not refer the allegations made by a victim in 2009 to the Crown Prosecution Service, this was not the right decision and I have apologised to those involved," he said.

"While this decision was made in good faith by the investigating officer, based on a perception the evidential threshold had not been met, this is not what we do now.  When the case was referred again in 2017, it was taken forward with the utmost professionalism via a multi-agency investigation spanning over six years, resulting in extensive safeguarding and significant convictions that totalled over 40 years.  The report's findings have been embedded within our organisations and we continue to work closely together, every day, to safeguard children and bring offenders to justice."

Det Sgt Craddock added: "We're unable to name the parents involved for legal reasons and to protect the victims but this offending is very distinct and if anyone's got concerns that it's familiar or they think that they might have been involved in anything of this nature then have the confidence to come forward and speak to police."

77

General Discussion / Re: Devotions

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 14, 2024, 11:20:06 AM »

https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2024/02/26/fear-not-i-will-help-you?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_0OWEBAVFCyuEZw28pl-RO-oymUa1iOhzQo9w--BEkabQIWLdjO6ItZpuDeTfDMsesa5V-hiWJ-1_ggaDPMFdC7vqiEA&_hsmi=293529895&utm_content=293529895&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

Fear Not: I Will Help You
February 26, 2024
by Kori de Leon

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)

Have you ever found yourself, amid life’s challenges, feeling as though the weight of the world is pressing down upon you?

In today’s world, marked by uncertainties, unrest and persecution, it’s easy to become burdened by concerns. When you add your personal struggles financial pressures, the demands of parenthood, caregiving for aging loved ones, and health issues it often seems like there's no end in sight.  It’s precisely during these trying times that God steadies our hearts. He is a strong and loving Father who tells His children not to worry or anxiously look about but to call out to Him and wait with humble expectation for the help He provides.  When you were a child, maybe you witnessed your earthly parents’ desire for you to grow up confident and secure. But even so, parents often experience the frustration of being unable to provide the specific help their children need. This is where God distinguishes Himself remarkably and gloriously, as often repeated throughout Isaiah:  “... For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me” (Isaiah 46:9, ESV).

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you …” (Isaiah 41:10).

God assures us of His boundless capacity and joy in helping us! The above scriptures brim with divine “I wills,” and it’s truly remarkable to understand that God doesn’t want us to be consumed by fear. Instead, He urges us to shed the weighty cloak of fear and dread, much like discarding yesterday’s worn-out clothes.  But how do we do this?

When we look at the troubling things all around us in the world, how do we exchange fear for faith in our invisible Father?

God encourages us to meditate on the image of being held by His hand:  “... I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

When life gets chaotic and we’re teetering on the edge, let's picture God right there with us, a caring Father steadying His child as she navigates rough and uncertain terrain. Instead of giving in to despair or frantically searching for help, let’s remember the promise that God is present, ready to help and support us. Then we can pray, calling out to our Father and waiting with humble expectation for the help He’ll provide.  As we read Isaiah 41:10 and so many other parts of God’s Word, we uncover the countless beautiful ways in which God supports His people. Let’s walk together in the hope and comfort of God’s upholding love today.

78

General Discussion / Re: Devotions

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 13, 2024, 05:06:44 PM »

https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2024/02/22/what-we-fear-we-will-avoid?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_WNoHIOop6WHrOhVe3lO6aKQdcHSoa23dqd_aOsWEgaO9KHa7l7ib4sLe4dsGXMPlg0V7Azfqmb2Mv3eZMcZEu5wUWyg&_hsmi=292312804&utm_content=292312804&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

What We Fear, We Will Avoid
February 22, 2024
by Lysa TerKeurst

“The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” Psalm 34:7 (NIV)

A few years ago, one of my back teeth started hurting. It wasn’t the first time that tooth had given me trouble, but quite honestly, I just didn’t want to deal with it.  I’d had not one, not two, but three crowns done on that same tooth. The first one broke. The second one broke. And though the third one seemed like it would finally work, the tooth started aching again. Ugh!  The dentist informed me the only thing to do was to have a root canal.  But fear overcame my heart, and I just couldn’t bring myself to schedule it.  So I dealt with the throbbing pain for a full year. I didn’t chew on that side of my mouth. I didn’t let cold drinks leak over to that side. And I took ibuprofen when the throbbing got the best of me.  Finally I’d had enough. The pain overrode the fear, and I made the dreaded appointment.  And you know what?

I survived! Actually, the fear of the root canal was so much worse than having the procedure done.  I think fear often plays out that way. Sometimes living in fear of what might be causes more stress and anxiety than actually facing what we fear.  Maybe you can relate. Is there something you’re avoiding because you’re afraid?

Psalm 34:7 reminds us, “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them” (NIV). To fear the Lord means to honor Him and magnify Him in our hearts more than anyone or anything else. But when I focus on or magnify my lesser, anxious fears, they become all I can think about.

Instead, here are three things we can do to focus on God today:

    Cry out to Him with honest prayers. Verbalize to God what you’re afraid of and how paralyzing the fear is. Ask Him to help you discern if there is any truth to this fear.

    Open your Bible, and look for verses that show you what He wants you to do in that moment of fear. Write down truths, and then align your next thoughts and actions with His Word.

    Move forward. We may not always live fear-free, but we can choose not to let fears about tomorrow steal our joy for today.

Is there an everyday fear holding you back? Is it a fear of confronting an issue with a friend? Is it a fear of stepping out in obedience to God?

Is there fear surrounding a medical diagnosis you just received?

Oh friend, if I were with you right now, I would totally hold your hand. But better yet, God is with you. And when you know He is with you and His angels are encamped around you, you can face your fears.

79

Articles / Belgium will apologize for children kidnapped from African colonies

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 08, 2024, 02:09:41 PM »

https://telegrafi.com/en/Belgium-to-apologize-for-children-kidnapped-from-African-colonies/?fbclid=IwY2xjawFyDSVleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHWu7J_WUTQQGyNM6W-ucm5DbSs4NnrpEBlBlF6viGRpSfXtNxvbh4MbgVw_aem_L1oBvoY-AmSiESDjYXqrRQ

Belgium will apologize for children kidnapped from African colonies

Belgian Prime Minister Charles Michel will apologize for the kidnapping, forced detention, deportation and forced adoption of thousands of children born to mixed-race couples in Burundi, Congo and Rwanda.  The apology will be the first time that Belgium accepts any responsibility for what historians have said was a great damage that this country has caused to the Central African countries that it has colonized for eight decades, the Telegraph reports.  The New York Times reports that during a plenary session, which takes place this afternoon in the Belgian Parliament, the prime minister is expected to apologize to the three countries that became independent 60 years ago.  "White children born to parents of two different colors were always considered a threat to the establishment that had colonized them, prestige and dominance," said Assumani Budagwa, engineer and amateur historian born in a colonized family in the Congo, the experience of he experienced being kidnapped in his family.

Budagwa is the co-author of the parliamentary resolution, which worked with an anonymous kidnapper, about the wrongdoing that Belgium has done in the past with these children, as well as those who had developmental problems and were treated badly by the Roman Catholic Church.  The resolution calls for the Belgian government to open the archives of colonialism and provide administrative support to the hundreds of people in the Congo and Belgium who do not have a birth certificate, as well as those who want to know their family history. /Telegraph/

80

Articles / Delay and frustration in adoption law's first year

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on October 04, 2024, 04:11:20 PM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp3dx01v8x8o

Delay and frustration in adoption law's first year

At a glance

    More than 10,000 requests for adoptees' birth records have been submitted during the first year of a new Irish law

    The authorities struggled to meet demand and missed legal deadlines

    A total of 5,500 requests were made to use a new family tracing service

    More than half (53%) of tracing requests are yet to be allocated to staff

Eimear Flanagan
BBC News NI

Published 3 October 2023

An Irish law that gave adopted people the right to access their birth records has led to more than 10,000 applications during its first year of operation.  The Birth Information and Tracing Act, external was designed to end much of the secrecy embedded in Ireland's 70-year-old adoption system.  But for many adoptees waiting decades for answers about their early lives, the new procedures meant delays and frustration.  The legislation created a new family tracing service and throughout the year 5,500 requests to find relatives were submitted.  However, due to the complexity of some searches, 53% of tracing requests are yet to be allocated to staff.  "I am relying on a system that is working at a snail's pace," said Linda Southern, who is searching for her birth parents.

The 48-year-old Dubliner was adopted in 1975 at six weeks of age.  She spent her first 47 years not knowing her birth name nor the names of her mother and father.  That is because until 3 October 2022, Irish adoptees had no automatic right to see their own birth certificates, nor to know their biological parents' identities.  The new law was supposed to give adoptees access to birth records within 30 days, or 90 days in complex cases.  Two organisations tasked with releasing records struggled to handle an early surge of applications.  The Adoption Authority of Ireland (AAI) and child and family agency Tusla both missed statutory deadlines.  "The initial surge led to wait times which would be frustrating and which we regret," said AAI interim chief executive Colm O'Leary.

"When you're starting off a process and you're learning that records are held across various sources, it takes time to become familiar with all of the record types," he explained.

A Tusla spokeswoman said "a significant portion of the applications are classified as complex which means they require more time".

But adoptees argue authorities should have been better prepared.  "Surely, state bodies would have had a basic idea of the number of adoptees who would want to at least get their birth information," said Ms Southern.

After initial delays, she received her own documents which - for the first time - revealed her original name and parents' names.  However, she still needs help finding her biological family and spent the past year waiting for news.  "I don't know if they will ever trace my birth mother or not.  If they can't, I should be told," she said.

"They should have presumed the majority would want to trace - better to presume that too many people would wish to trace birth families than too few."

'Belfast baby'

Loraine Jackson had hoped her birth files might shed some light on her cross-border adoption.  She grew up in Dublin, with barely any information about her birth.  But in her early 40s, she found out she was actually a native of the United Kingdom, having been born to a single mother in Belfast in 1948.  Her parents died years before she could trace them.  When she spoke to BBC News NI last year, she expressed hope her files might reveal how or why she was taken across the border for adoption.  After months of waiting, a "fat package" arrived in the post which included an unredacted version of her adoption agreement.  For the first time, she saw her relatives' signatures and finally found out who authorised her adoption.  "My birth mother had not been present at the signing. Her sister signed for her," Ms Jackson explained.

She also expected her files would contain information about the standard of care she received in Bethany children's home in Dublin.  But apart from a photocopy of her name in Bethany's admission book, she was disappointed.  "The information just didn't seem to be there. Whether records were not kept as well in those days, I don't know."

Although left with many unanswered questions, her maternal aunt's role in her adoption was new information to her.  "It was definitely worthwhile doing, and I'd advise anyone who hasn't applied yet to go for it."

AAI staff received a wide range of feedback from adoptees about their birth files from delight to disappointment to disbelief.  "A lot of people have said: 'Is that it? Is there nothing else?'" Mr O'Leary said.

He acknowledged some adoptees were dismayed to learn that nothing more exists on file than details they already knew.  Others have received heavily censored documents.  "Sometimes the authority gets records that are already redacted prior to us getting them we cannot unredact it," Mr O'Leary explained.

He also said AAI staff can apply redactions themselves, in cases where personal information refers to a third party.  However, he added applicants can request a review if they believe files were "inappropriately redacted".

The interim chief executive acknowledged the AAI's 12 social workers have "significant" tracing workloads.  But he said tracing "is not a linear process" and adoptees often pause the search themselves to digest new information.  "You're dealing with a very emotive situation," Mr O'Leary said.

"People may initiate a trace, thinking that their birth mother would want to hear from them, and they have to take on board that the birth mother does not want contact."

But the new law produced positive outcomes too - the AAI's tracing service has facilitated 44 family reunions.  "Sometimes I'll go to the kitchen and I'll see a social worker taking out the fancy crockery and making tea" Mr O'Leary said.

"They're bringing it into a room where a family is being reunited."

He added that when staff help connect families "there is a sense of success, and of delivering on the legislation".

The AAI's backlog of birth record applications is almost cleared and by last week, just 56 were outstanding.  Tusla has a much larger backlog which it expects to clear by June 2024.  It said from1 September, all new applications are being processed "within statutory timelines".