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Articles / Film spotlights 'life-long' impact of adoption

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 30, 2024, 11:11:10 AM »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm2y4ng1nedo

Film spotlights 'life-long' impact of adoption

Rachel Candlin
BBC News, West of England

Published 28 September 2024

Two women, who were adopted as babies, have shared their stories to spotlight the "life-long impact" of adoption. Adele Gardner and Grace Payne feature in a documentary directed by Rwandan-born adoptee, Louise Ndibwirende, who wanted to challenge the assumption that "the adoption process ends with the paperwork".

Speak Little One: The World is Listening is being screened at The Watershed on 28 September for "underrepresented" adoptees and others with experience of adoption. Alison Woodhead, from Adoption UK, said: "More needs to be done to highlight the voices and views of adoptees; they should be front and centre when it comes to reforming the adoption system."

Ms Payne, 28, who was adopted at 18 months due to China's one-chid policy, said: "I got involved in the documentary because I have a passion for advocating for adoptees and promoting more awareness and discussion around the difficult subject of adoption. Being adopted has massively shaped who I am today and I feel proud of my identity. To feature in the documentary is an honour and something I’ll never forget as an incredible display of adoptee solidarity."

"The documentary shines a light on the reality of adoption, a topic often overlooked, whitewashed, and even stigmatised in our society," said Ms Ndibwirende, who was adopted into a French family at the age of three.

"I wanted to create a safe platform for adoptees to share the emotional and sometimes traumatic reality of adoption, so any adoptee who feels their experiences differ to the 'happy-ever-after' narrative knows they are not alone. Actually there's often a lot of grief for everyone, and especially for the adoptive child and that follows them through different chapters of their life; with relationships, friendships and finding their identity and culture. These stories deserve to be told without shame or judgement, and I was really passionate about making sure those voices were heard," she said.

Ms Gardner, 67, was adopted at three months in the 1950s when unmarried mothers were encouraged to give up their babies. "To those who who are not adopted its complexities often remain invisible. Louise’s brave decision to make her first documentary on this subject encouraged me to want to be part of it. By sharing our journeys as adoptees I hope we can shine a light on identity, adoption and ownership of the self," she said.

Adoption UK is an organisation dedicated to supporting people across the adoption community. Ms Woodhead, director of Public Affairs and Communications, said: "Most adoptees tell us that adoption has cast both light and shade on their lives. Ms Ndibwirende is absolutely right that more needs to be done to highlight the voices and views of adoptees. They should be front and centre when it comes to reforming the adoption system and children’s social care. That’s definitely a shift the sector is trying to make, but adoptee perspectives have been ignored for decades and change is happening too slowly."

Adoptee voices heard

Ms Ndibwirende, 35, who was adopted into a French family aged three years, said interracial adoption added another layer of complexity. For me personally, it can cause an identity crisis and challenge in terms of sense of self, which is really hard to unpack. Looking for my birth family also kind of flipped the life that I had up until that point. There's a narrative that once you've found your biological family, it's this kind of happy ever after, but it can be peak existential crisis," she said.

"The impacts can last a lifetime. That’s why we’re campaigning for lifelong support for adoptees, to make sure that adoption gives them the best possible chance to thrive," added Ms Woodhead.

Anyone with experience of adoption, especially adoptees, are being invited to the screening on 28 September and to take part in a question and answer session.

Articles / Forced adoption victim seeks truth from pope Lieve Soens was a product of birth

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 28, 2024, 11:13:13 AM »

https://tribune.net.ph/2024/09/27/forced-adoption-victim-seeks-truth-from-pope

Forced adoption victim seeks truth from pope
Lieve Soens was a product of birth under X system.

Published on:
Sep 27, 2024, 17:39

KUURNE, Belgium (AFP) — The stain of Catholic child abuse looms over Pope Francis’ visit to Belgium this week, but a lesser-known scandal still roils the country: the “forced adoption” of newborns taken from their mothers, with nuns’ complicity. Lieve Soens was adopted by a Belgian couple in 1974, shortly after she was born in Dunkirk, northern France, to a woman who opted to remain anonymous under a system known as giving birth “under X.” Now 50, Soens is still trying to understand how her biological mother a teenager at the time was taken by nuns from Lommel in Belgium to Dunkirk, more than 200 kilometers away, to deliver a baby she would never see again. In her decades-long quest to find her roots, Soens had the support of her adoptive parents. They were convinced, she says, that they were doing the right thing by taking in an unwanted baby. They showed her documents from 1974 including her birth certificate mentioning her adoption and change of name, and a bill from the private clinic where she was born. After they passed away some 20 years ago, she ramped up her efforts. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just want the truth,” she said, while acknowledging her “anger towards the Church, the nuns and the clinic” who all played a role.

Soens is among the guests expected on Friday at Laeken palace, the royal residence where Francis is to deliver a speech to the Belgian nation.

Church apology

In 2023, the Flemish newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws published the hard-hitting testimony of multiple victims of forced adoption, including a mother whose newborn had been taken from her. The paper’s investigation estimated that Belgian nuns had been involved in around 30,000 such cases between 1945 and 1980. Most of the births were in Belgium, but 3,000 to 4,000 pregnant women were taken to France. There, the “under X” system erases all filial link between mother and child, said Binnenlands Geadopteerd, a support group for the victims of forced adoptions. Most cases involved young, unmarried women some of them victims of rape or incest whose parents wanted their pregnancy kept under wraps. The parents would make contact with Church officials, who provided the link to families wishing to adopt. The Belgian conference of bishops has formally apologized on several occasions over the scandal when it first erupted in 2015 and again last year.

Articles / Bessborough mother and baby home should have been bought by the State, Tánaiste

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 25, 2024, 10:02:26 AM »

https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/bessborough-mother-and-baby-home-should-have-been-bought-by-the-state-tanaiste-says-1674516.html?utm_campaign=article&fbclid=IwY2xjawFgsENleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHY5wr-MSskhLfed8wOHVvPDrmZDowCoDytIwy1urFl4SqzGGIfYPIubZ6A_aem_eXW8672be1CameFjKhr_Gg

Bessborough mother and baby home should have been bought by the State, Tánaiste says
ireland

20/09/2024 | 14:48 PM

Olivia Kelleher

Tánaiste Micheál Martin has indicated that he has always been of the view that the State should have purchased Bessborough, the former mother and baby home in Cork, for conversion into a memorial or amenity site.

This week a decision made by Cork City Council to refuse planning permission for a proposed 92 unit residential development at Bessborough in Blackrock in the city was upheld by An Bord Pleanála.

The planning authority backed the decision of the local authority because of the historical landscape and potential human remains at the grounds.

Speaking in Cork, Mr Martin said that options should be explored in relation to the use of the site.

“I was always of a view that the local authority with the State should have purchased that site and have a proper memorialisation but also see if we could do things on a planned basis. It is a beautiful area. It can potentially be a very strong amenity area for the area as well, but that was always my view on it.

"I felt at the time that maybe the local authority should have got involved earlier and pre-empted what happened and bought it because there are medical facilities, or HSE facilities on the site," he said.

"There are a variety of facilities on the site, and it is a natural area and a green area as well, and we need to look at that as well."

Meanwhile, Bessborough became notorious for the cruelty and neglect of mothers and their babies.

Of the more than 900 babies who died at Bessborough or in Cork hospitals having been transferred from the mother and baby home over the course of seven decades, less than 70 have known burial sites.

Survivors of the home have broadly welcomed the decision by An Bord Pleanála to deny planning for building on the site.

Carmel, whose mother gave birth to a boy who died in Bessborough, told Red FM News of her delight at the decision by the planning authority.

"I'm delighted it is being refused. All the grounds potentially have burials in them. It is not just one particular area.

There hasn't been an investigation to establish whether there is a mass grave or where the children are but what we do know is that there is witnesses that have witnessed burials take place."

Articles / The almost unbelievable life-changing coincidence that led me to my birth ....c

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 22, 2024, 01:47:20 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-13859615/The-unbelievable-life-changing-coincidence-led-birth-family-revealed-Coronation-Streets-SUE-CLEAVER.html

The almost unbelievable life-changing coincidence that led me to my birth family, revealed by Coronation Street's SUE CLEAVER

By Julia Llewellyn Smith For You Magazine

Published: 08:01, 21 September 2024 | Updated: 08:01, 21 September 2024

Sue Cleaver is one of those women who appear to have it all worked out. Best known for her role as Eileen Grimshaw in Coronation Street (a part she has played for almost 25 years), at 61 she’s glamorous and quick-witted, with a huge appetite for life, as confirmed two years ago by her appearing on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! ‘Now it’s my time to have adventures,’ she says. ‘Fear is not a good enough excuse.’

Yet as a young woman Cleaver was profoundly unhappy. ‘We didn’t have the vocabulary to describe how I felt but I would say I was depressed. My life felt desperate.’

At ten days old, Cleaver was given up for adoption by her 17-year-old single mother. She was in a ‘handover’ home for a short spell before a young couple called Freda and John Cleaver, together with their five-year-old son Paul, took her home. Despite then being brought up by ‘very loving’ parents, she always felt an outsider, partly because her mother had advised her not to tell other children she was adopted. ‘Mum did it to protect me, as she knew other kids could be horrible, but it left me with feelings of shame,’ she says. ‘I do think most adopted people carry a sense of otherness, of something missing, and perhaps you carry that sense of being unwanted.’

It was all exacerbated by the fact that her parents (both boarding-school teachers) moved from school to school. For five years she lived in the grounds of Gordonstoun, where Prince Andrew was a pupil and where her dog once bit the visiting Queen’s chauffeur: ‘The Queen wound her window down and said, “Did he just bite him?” She seemed to find it funny.’

Cleaver became increasingly troubled, losing her virginity aged 14 and becoming promiscuous. Leaving school aged 16 without qualifications, she fell in and out of jobs before getting pregnant by a 35 year old and having a termination. She went to Canada to work as a nanny six weeks later, aged 17, hating the job but experiencing an epiphany after seeing a friend’s amateur play. ‘I thought, “This is shockingly bad. I could do this better. That’s what I’ll do go home and go to drama school.” Mum thought it was just another madcap idea, but I did it.’

While in Canada, Cleaver also visited a psychic. ‘I don’t even believe in any of that, but she said, “You’ll find your birth mother and you won’t even have to look for her.” I still have the tape recording.’

She thought little more of the encounter, came home and won a place at the Manchester Metropolitan School of Theatre. In her second year, aged 23, she got a tiny part in the play Oedipus at Manchester’s Royal Exchange. ‘I couldn’t have known but that would rock my entire world,’ she says.

During rehearsals she became friendly with Michael N Harbour, an actor who was 41. ‘I had no idea Michael was saying to the stage manager, “My god, Sue’s the absolute double of my wife when I met her, aged 18.”

Once, at a party, he started taking the mickey out of my [northern] accent. I said, “Actually, I’ve cultivated this I’m not from round here.”

He asked where I was born. I said, “Barnet [North London].”

He started staring at my hands. I thought, “This is weird.” ‘Then he asked me what my date of birth was. I told him and carried on talking to someone else. Unbeknownst to me he’d gone to a phone box. He rang his wife and said, “I’ve found her.”’

By sheer chance, Cleaver, who relates all of this in her new memoir A Work in Progress, had befriended the husband of her birth mother, Lesley Sizer Grieve, an actress. Five years after giving Cleaver up, Grieve married Harbour and had two daughters, Kate and Emma, with him. When Harbour told Grieve of his discovery, she was shaken and told him to let things be, as Cleaver might not have even known she was adopted. A couple of nights later, Cleaver, Harbour and another cast member, Leonard, went for dinner. Cleaver started telling Leonard about being adopted, adding she’d never wanted to find her birth mother. ‘It felt disloyal to my parents and I never wanted to hurt them. Plus, I’d heard stories of people who’d traced their parents and their mother was a prostitute or they’d been turned away on the doorstep.’

Harbour became so agitated that Cleaver joked to Leonard: ‘Maybe he’s my dad.’ At the end of the meal, Harbour told her they had to talk. ‘He drove me to my flat and told me I’d been born Claire and he was married to my [birth] mother. I was so shocked, so confused, just full of adrenaline, not knowing what to do.’

Soon after, Cleaver arranged to meet her birth mother, Grieve, at a hotel. ‘Michael came up in the lift with me and said, “Right, you’re on your own now.” I walked terrified down the corridor. It was like the scene in the film Poltergeist where the more I walked, the further away the door seemed to be. Lesley opened the door and we hugged, without saying a word. That night is a blur, but I saw her again the next day.’

For a while, she says, ‘It was weird between us. Neither of us knew quite how to deal with it it was like falling in love. We wanted to be on the phone to each other all the time. Everyone else was like, “Isn’t this amazing?” But at a certain point it became too much.’

Cleaver felt shaken at her life taking this sudden new path, and for Grieve the reunion while happy revived painful memories. In the summer that year, Cleaver went on holiday to Cornwall with Grieve and her family, but invented an excuse to leave early. Again it was that otherness she felt so different to her birth family. For about six months Grieve and Cleaver didn’t see each other. ‘We both needed space. It had been such a whirlwind. We were such an amazing story that Michael would regale friends about it at dinner parties. To us it was like, “Hang on, there are two human beings in this!” But then we drifted back on our own terms and from then we had a wonderful relationship.’

Cleaver stayed close to Grieve until she died aged 74, in 2020. She’s also good friends with her half-sisters, who are both actresses. But the discovery hasn’t lessened her relationship with her parents or her brother Paul. ‘Lesley never felt like my mum I’ve only ever had one mum [Freda] and she was so warm and generous. There was no jealousy; she welcomed Lesley with open arms and told her she could visit any time. She took all my baby pictures out of the album to send to her. When Lesley and Michael visited my parents at home, they set up a slideshow of me as a baby it was probably too much for Lesley!’

Still, Cleaver enjoyed deducing which parts of her came from which of her ‘families’. ‘The theatrics are definitely down to my birth family and my emotional side,’ she tells me. ‘But my “nurture” side is practical and I’m down-to-earth like my parents.’

In May 2000, Cleaver won the part of Eileen Grimshaw in Coronation Street, watched by 12 million people an episode at its peak. She enjoyed that rare thing: a regular acting job, which meant that her son Elliott, now 28, with her ex-husband, actor James Quinn, grew up in the same Manchester home, with none of the childhood moves she’d experienced. But finding her birth mother wasn’t the magic cure for Cleaver’s angst, and she continued to be plagued by self-doubt. She found fame challenging and hated being recognised in public. ‘Once I was walking with elephants in [Botswana’s] Okavango Delta and a ranger raised his gun and called, “Hello, Eileen.’’ I handled that kind of thing badly. The thought of people wanting to get to know me as Sue freaked me out because I always felt lacking.’

She became so fascinated by human psychology that in 2015, she qualified as a psychotherapist, fitting the training around her acting job. It was for her own satisfaction, she’s never practised. Yet today Cleaver has a more confident view on life. She has remarried (Corrie lighting technician Brian Owen), while Elliott has left home to work designing 3D images for video games. Now she wants to share her experiences with other women. ‘I’ve learnt to listen to my inner wisdom,’ she says. ‘For so long I thought I was broken and weak. Writing the book made me see how resilient I am.’

A Work in Progress by Sue Cleaver will be published by Bloomsbury this Thursday, £20. To pre-order a copy for £17 until 6 October, go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937. Free UK delivery on orders over £25

Articles / Babies have grown up not knowing they were adopted after forced practice

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 20, 2024, 03:57:43 PM »

https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/babies-grown-up-not-knowing-9560006?fbclid=IwY2xjawFaanFleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHSGlhzw-8xgHt_NERAnRM5IebsVsHAxzMlgNAZB9QPSO_leapjLWSngv7g_aem_PDQjh-Gdpp_ZA2qsvrut3g

Babies have grown up not knowing they were adopted after forced practice

'It is vital that people living in Gloucestershire who are affected by historic forced adoption practices feel supported'

By Kim Horton Senior Reporter

06:00, 18 SEP 2024

A support plan has been put in place to helped those affected by forced adoption practices which spanned for almost 30 years. Between 1949 and 1976 an estimated 185,000 babies in England and Wales were taken from unmarried mothers and placed for adoption due to pressure from their families and society. Evidence from across the UK suggests that many of the adoptions during this time were ‘closed’, meaning that children were given new names, identities, and birth certificates, were not informed that they were an adoptee and had no ongoing contact with their families. Gloucestershire County Council is working in partnership with Adoption West to ensure any mothers, or children who are now adults, impacted by forced adoption practices have access to readily available support. The impact of this on women and children should not be underestimated, having lifelong and significantly distressing effects. The county council has commissioned Adoption West, a Regional Adoption Agency who amongst other adoption related activity provide support to adults who were adopted and families affected by forced adoption practices. Leader of Gloucestershire County Council, Councillor Stephen Davies, said: “It is vital that people living in Gloucestershire who are affected by historic forced adoption practices feel supported. At times, they may need help and advice from professionals who understand adoption, which is why I would encourage anyone who has been affected by these practices to get in touch with Adoption West so that they can receive the help they need.”

Adoption West can support adopted adults, birth parents and birth relatives affected by historic adoptions in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s.

The Adoption West Birth Links Service works with adopted adults and birth parents to provide:

Support to apply to the Registrar General for the information needed to obtain a certified copy of their birth certificate
Access to birth record services
Up to six sessions of emotional support for birth family and adopted adults
Advice about intermediary services
Birth parent support groups
To access support please visit the Adoption West website:
Adopted Adults - Adoption West or telephone 03303 550 333.

General Discussion / Panel launch Truth Recovery Report

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 18, 2024, 11:40:32 AM »

https://truthrecoverystrategy.com/2021/10/05/panel-launch-truth-recovery-report/?mibextid=xfxF2i&fbclid=IwY2xjawFXi9BleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHRCwzWuNZySHX9TtHC3Ue9Fjo_Vl0EIAJIDNJ_DUUdn6t0uxI8dM0hJgew_aem_A3Kltg226owsTIdEpgx9VA

Panel launch Truth Recovery Report
Posted on 5 October 2021 by truthrecovery

Unprecedented Independent Investigation into Mother and Baby Institutions, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses recommended in Truth Recovery Design Panel Report.

The Truth Recovery Design Panel appointed to work with victims and survivors, today published extensive Recommendations in a Report to the Northern Ireland Executive. The primary recommendation in the report is to establish an ‘Integrated Investigation’ by a non-statutory Independent Panel feeding into a statutory Public Inquiry. There are also further recommendations for supporting measures to ensure that victims-survivors can participate in the investigation: these include Access to Records legislation and urgent Redress payments.

CLICK HERE to access and download the FULL REPORT by the Truth Recovery Design Panel

CLICK HERE to access and download the EXECUTIVE SUMMARY by the Truth Recovery Design Panel

CLICK HERE for Online Supplemental Report ‘Background Research for the Truth Recovery Design Process – Dr Maeve O’Rourke’

Following all-party agreement in January 2021, the Northern Ireland Executive invited victims and survivors of Mother and Baby Institutions, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses, to contribute to designing the framework for an independent investigation into the institutions where thousands of girls and women were held and forced into unpaid labour, with many forcibly separated from their babies, during the 20th Century. The Truth Recovery Design Panel was set up for this process and included the appointment of a Chair, Deirdre Mahon (a Director of Women and Children’s Services and the Executive Director of Social Work in Health and Social Care in NI), along with Dr Maeve O’Rourke (Lecturer in Human Rights, NUI Galway) and Professor Phil Scraton (Professor Emeritus, Queen’s University Belfast). Following a six-month period of extensive engagement and work by the Truth Recovery Panel, the full report was today launched at Stormont in Belfast, entitled ‘Mother and Baby Institutions, Magdalene Laundries and Workhouses in Northern Ireland Truth, Acknowledgement and Accountability’.

Commenting at the launch of the Report, Chair of the Truth Recovery Design Panel, Deirdre Mahon, said: “For six months we have worked closely with victims-survivors and relatives who have shared their heart-breaking stories with us and we thank them for their dedicated and tireless pursuit of truth and justice. The Executive’s decision in January, on the Inter-Departmental Working Group’s advice, to decide to set up an investigation and involve victims-and survivors centrally in designing the investigation was a hugely positive step. Nevertheless this decision has come too late for many, and it is essential that these recommendations are acted on without delay.”

Truth Recovery Design Panel member Professor Phil Scraton said: “The Executive required the Panel to recommend a framework of investigation from the breadth and depth of testimonies we received, we propose an unprecedented process, integrating an Independent Panel and a statutory Public Inquiry, alongside access to personal records. We also make recommendations for redress and reparation. Lives and futures lost through the cruelty within these institutions cannot be recovered, but we must acknowledge the inter-generational pain and suffering inflicted on victims, survivors and families. It is now time for that to be recognised and the full truth revealed.”

Dr Maeve O’Rourke, Truth Recovery Design Panel member, said at the launch of the report: “The University of Ulster/Queen’s University Belfast academic research report preceding our work contains clear evidence of gross and systemic human rights abuses in the institutions and related adoption system, including arbitrary detention, degrading treatment, serious infringements of the right to respect for private and family life and discrimination. Victims and survivors continue to describe ongoing abuse, including the disappearance of family members and the denial of identity. It is essential that the human rights of victims, survivors and relatives are at the heart of the forthcoming investigation. Human rights law also requires full access to records and urgent redress and reparation.”

The Truth Recovery Design Panel recommendations to the Northern Ireland Executive are: Urgent appointment of a non-statutory Independent Panel of experts including those with personal experience, to identify and access institutions’ and other state- and privately-held documents and to hear personal testimonies. The Independent Panel should support victims-survivors and relatives of those deceased to receive information previously denied, and it should investigate current and past human rights violations arising from institutionalisation and family separation. The Panel should inform the terms of reference for a statutory Public Inquiry and provide support as necessary to the Public Inquiry;
* Legislation, introduced without delay, to appoint a statutory Public Inquiry with powers to compel production of documents and hear evidence under oath from representatives of the institutions and those who serviced them. The Public Inquiry should be chaired by a human rights specialist from outside the jurisdiction supported by a team with a range of expertise;
* Immediate new legislation to secure access to records for survivors and their families, including: legislative guidance for personal data controllers; a statutory prohibition on the destruction of records; and the creation of a dedicated permanent archive of historical institutional and adoption records operating alongside a similar archive already promised by the Government of Ireland;
* Immediate redress payments from the beginning of the investigation: an approach taken previously in other jurisdictions;
* Other necessary reparation measures including: public apologies from the State and all institutions involved; comprehensive funding for health and wellbeing services; funding for voluntary DNA testing; legal aid to access the courts or inquest system; citizenship for those who lost their entitlement due to removal from the jurisdiction as a child; provision of gravestones and memorials.

Articles / Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter review a staggering, mesmerising true ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 16, 2024, 04:11:04 PM »

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2024/sep/11/into-the-fire-the-lost-daughter-review-a-womans-search-for-her-adopted-child-netflix-true-crime?fbclid=IwY2xjawFVJd5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHXoW5z7kX1OTj7Fhy_87DWIyej_VMYltCxMWH7lKTEwY137BclBZWFyVXg_aem_1vrBXmHFeyPduobKSz8sSg

Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter review a staggering, mesmerising true-crime tale

When Cathy Terkanian learned that the daughter she was persuaded to place up for adoption had gone missing, she knew the police would never bother to find her. So she did it herself
Lucy Mangan
Wed 11 Sep 2024 21.00 BST

I feel like it’s been quite a while 10, maybe even 20 minutes? since Netflix’s last addition to the true crime genre (AKA an anthology of male violence against women and girls), but Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter is worth the wait, in the strange and twisted way of these voyeuristic endeavours anyway. It is the story of Cathy Terkanian’s search for her adopted daughter Alexis (renamed Aundria by her new parents, Brenda and Dennis Bowman). It began in 2010, when she got a letter asking if she could give a DNA sample to the police in case an unidentified woman’s brutalised body they had found was Aundria’s. That is how she discovered that the child she had been persuaded as a 16-year-old single mother to place up for adoption had run away from home in 1989 at the age of 14 and never been seen again. Cathy herself had been a runaway, from a violent mother. The police, she reasoned, were unlikely to have investigated properly (“They didn’t look for me they wouldn’t look for her”). So, once the dead woman proved to be someone else’s daughter, she started her own search. What unfolds is almost beyond belief. Cathy a mesmerisingly formidable presence whose fierceness nearly burns a hole in the screen begins with a simple internet search that yields her daughter’s new name and details of her disappearance. Then, with the help of her devoted husband Edward and amateur online investigator Carl Koppelman (an accountant who had compiled a searchable spreadsheet of 19,000 missing persons’ names and histories and solved several cases before Cathy met him), she parlayed it into an all-out assault on the world until it returned her daughter to her. It is an extraordinary story of one woman’s determination but, while it clearly longs to lean into this and become a reverential paean to maternal instinct, the supranatural bond between mother and child and assorted other pieces of semi-claptrap, the actual facts are so terrible that the film-makers manage to restrain themselves and deliver an account that does them justice. Aundria had not had the better life the 16-year-old Cathy had been promised adoption would provide. Former school friends who contact her through the website she sets up remember seeing Dennis hit his daughter, once so hard at the dinner table for mentioning the food (she and her friend had been given sandwiches while the couple ate hamburgers) that he almost knocked her off her chair. Aundria made accusations of molestation against Dennis that were all but ignored by her school, the police, the church. It was shortly after that that she supposedly ran away. Gradually, through the website and a freedom of information request, the truth about Dennis emerges. Once again we find ourselves in a world in which a monstrous man is rarely caught after committing awful acts and when he is, never punished in a way commensurate with his crimes. You can maybe watch one or two of these documentaries and shake your head at the unlucky series of failings that led to a predator going free. Taken in sum, they are a damning indictment of the embedded inequities of the system and unparalleled, undeniable proof of how little female lives are worth and how little their suffering counts. Cathy carries on piecing together Aundria’s story, becoming increasingly convinced not just that Dennis killed her but that her body is buried in the back yard of the house the Bowmans now live in. Carl thinks this is nonsense the wood across from the house they lived in at the time would be the logical place. “But I knew,” says Cathy. “He felt he’d had the right to kill her, that he owned her. And he would keep her close.”

Is that maternal instinct?

Or is that an understanding we all come to as we move through a world where unassailable patterns of entitlement only become clearer the longer we live in it?

One of Dennis’s convictions – 40 years after the event is for the 1980 murder of 25-year-old Kathleen Doyle. Her aunt Christine’s contribution should be etched on the minds of anyone setting out to make or watch these films. “Except for the fact that he took her from us, he is superfluous to her story. Don’t let the people who did this awful thing be the people everyone remembers. Let them remember the young women who have died.”

Articles / Wealthy Christian couple who adopted son from Haiti abandon him in Jamaica ....

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 12, 2024, 04:56:12 PM »

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13841373/Haiti-Jamaica-adoption-case-parents-christian-conservative.html?ito=social-facebook&fbclid=IwY2xjawFP5x5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHWe1fP4v1SH1WC03ulbE7Ng1416iNtx7iVuPyVIXa6xrwdR1quLxR9U9ow_aem_SBrB-3EzDq6O0JQXnuTyJw#ij718e5up8

Wealthy Christian couple who adopted son from Haiti abandon him in Jamaica after discovering his secret habit

READ MORE: Seven boys are removed from school in Jamaica over abuse claims

By Joe Hutchison For Dailymail.Com

Published: 07:48, 12 September 2024 | Updated: 13:01, 12 September 2024

A wealthy Christian couple abandoned their adopted Haitian son at a behavioral school in Jamaica after learning he'd been watching porn then refused to pick him up again even after the horrendous abuse of the academy he'd been sent to was revealed. Mark and Spring Goldman from Traverse City, Michigan, adopted Elijah when he was 11. The couple have two biological children and adopted the boy and another girl from Haiti. But after discovering Elijah had been watching pornography on his Amazon Kindle and multiple phones and also recording himself having sex with his girlfriend they sent him to be disciplined at the school. When the school was shut down amid accusations children were being waterboarded with hosepipes and beaten, they still refused to collect him. Now, their shocking treatment of the teenager, now 17, has been seized on by children's rights lawyers and socialite Paris Hilton, a vocal critic of the behavioral programs. 'I appreciate them for bringing me to the US, but they abandoned me. I'm staying strong, but it hurts,' Elijah now living with a teacher in Arizona explained to the Detroit Free Press.

He described how problems started arising during his teenage years when he lied to his parents about watching pornography. 'I started looking at porn magazines on my Amazon Kindle. My mom got a notification about it and asked me about it, and I lied to her multiple times because I was embarrassed,' he admitted.

'I lied to her multiple times because I was embarrassed. My Dad was understanding, but I still lied to him because I was embarrassed.'

This behavior then continued into the eighth grade where he was caught buying his own cellphone and watching porn. In ninth grade, he got his hands on another phone which his parents confiscated before finding videos of their son having sex with his girlfriend on the device. He added: 'They found videos of me having sex and pictures my girlfriend sent to me. For that they said I was a porn addict and a sex addict, and that I needed to go to a program. Dad comes in, threw my things everywhere. He broke my snow globe. We get in a fight and he beats me.'

After running away to a friends house, he was then sent away to a special school for troubled boys. He was first enrolled in the Teen Challenge Adventure Ranch in Arizona, a Christian center for boys with addiction and behavioral issues for nine months. This was followed by a month at the Masters Ranch Christian Academy, a school in Missouri for troubled boys, from which he ran away after fearing for his life. After fleeing Missouri, he was then sent to the Atlantis Leadership Academy in Jamaica, where he says he was subjected to more abuse. Elijah told the outlet that during his short time at the now closed down facility he was cut with a razor and beaten in the back with a hammer. Others have reported being waterboarded with a hose up their nose, tied to railings and beaten as well as being forced to engage in fight clubs. Elijah was one of six American boys removed from the academy in February, where he was placed into foster care before the school closed just one month later. It wasn't until April that he heard from his adoptive parents when they called during court proceedings. He said: 'They didn't want me home, and they didn't believe me about the whole court thing, that they were abusing us.'

Elijah had been adopted by the family alongside his little sister through a program which sought to address Haiti's orphan epidemic. His adoptive family have two biological children and live on a sprawling white colonial home that is listed for around $1.9 million. According to the Detroit Free Press, Mark Goldman worked in his family's real estate and restaurant business before leaving to work in special education. While his wife Spring, 51, describes herself on her now deleted LinkedIn page as being a working mom and self-employed health and wellness consultant. In a now deleted personal essay on a faith inspired website called Check Your Game, Mark Goldman had opened up about his own anger problems. He said that a verbal fight with his wife almost triggered a call to police which led him to finding Jesus Christ. According to the Free Press, Goldman wrote: 'The following morning, I decided! I was done thinking I could fix all my issues with booze, gambling, working out and pornography. I needed to try something else.'

Child welfare advocates say that Goldman's story is becoming all to familiar where in parents adopt troubled children but then change their minds due to the issues. They then decide to have the children sent away in the hopes that they never see them again. In April, five people at the school in Jamaica were arrested on suspicion of child abuse, bodily harm and assault. Employees Eddison Morris, 39, Courtney Wiggan, 51, Carson Cox, 33 and Odane Maswell, 31, were all arrested alongside another unnamed worker. The case has drawn the interest of children's rights attorney Dawn Post, who traveled to Jamaica to meet with Goldman and has been fighting for him since. She told the outlet: 'They [Mark and Spring] were specifically told, "Your son was abused." And they didn’t even send him clothes.'

Post believes the parents are getting preferential treatment from authorities in Michigan because they are not his biological parents. She added: 'What makes it so astounding is that that these wealthy parents think they can get away with it. If it was a biological parent believe me you'd have an abandonment case against them.'

Goldman is now back on US soil after he touched down in Florida last week, but states argued who was responsible for him. The state of Florida said he was Michigan's responsibility, while Michigan said he was Florida's responsibility. His adoptive parents didn't meet him at the airport. He was met by Post and abuse survivor Chelsea Maldonado, who told the outlet: 'He’s been abandoned and let down by every person who was in a position to offer him care, love and support. No child should be adopted into this country only to be abandoned, or sent to a place like Atlantis Leadership Academy. This must end.'

At the airport, he was met with a US embassy official and a youth transport agent whom Elijah who his adoptive parents had designated as his legal guardian. That same man was hired to take him to the airport when he was sent to Jamaica in 2023. After arriving in Florida he was placed into a children's home before state officials then put him on a flight to Michigan. Touching down in Traverse City, his adoptive father was waiting for him alongside a child protection services officer. According to Goldman, the officer told him he would go with his dad and board a plane to Utah where he would live in an apartment. He refused. Sitting outside of the CPS parking lot, he waited for his lawyer when his adoptive mother appeared and clutched him sobbing. He told the outlet: 'I don't think they love me anymore. But we do have some good memories.'

On Wednesday, after close to a year of sorrow, Goldman was offered a glimpse of hope when a foster parent came forward to take him in. His adoptive parents didn't object to him being taken and placed under the custody of the Child Protective Services. In a turn of events, he is now poised to move in with a retired schoolteacher in the Traverse City area who came forward to take him in. The unknown woman known only as Teri, told a courtroom on Wednesday: 'It's just the right thing to do', before hugging Goldman.

Elijah's case, and that of the other American boys rescued from the faith-based school in Jamaica hit headlines after catching the attention of socialite Paris Hilton. At a press conference earlier this year she said: 'When I heard about what eight American children had endured in the hands of a troubled teen facility in Jamaica, I knew I had to drop everything to show my support of their testimony.'

She said the boys had reported being 'violently beaten, whipped, water-boarded, and starved.'

And added: 'There is nowhere that a facility can hide where we cannot find them. We will not allow children to carry the shame and stigma of abuse alone that belongs solely to the abusers.'

'It outrages me that it is taking months to bring these children back to the United States and mere moments to send them away in the first place.' While we wait for the government to take action, survivors will continue to uncover this broken system and expose those who are putting profits over the wellbeing of our most vulnerable youth. We will protect the powerless ourselves.'

On Sunday evening she urged her X followers to donate to help support Goldman, saying what was happening to him was 'unconscionable'.

Changes in the Law / New law change to improve access to adult adoption related therapy

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 08, 2024, 04:40:30 PM »

https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/2023/20-december-new-law-change-to-improve-access-to-adult-adoption-related-therapy/

New law change to improve access to adult adoption related therapy
News from BACP
20 December 2023

Providers of adult adoption-related therapy no longer need to be registered with Ofsted

Adult adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents will no longer face a major barrier to access therapy as a result of pressure from the counselling and psychotherapy sector and adoption charities. Until now, Ofsted registration has been required for those who provide therapy to adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents aged over 18 in England which has long caused major barriers in accessing therapy at a time where people need it most. However, following years of lobbying to remove this requirement, an extensive government consultation was carried out earlier this year. This week, updated Ofsted guidance was issued implementing the Department for Education’s decision to make important changes will mean the providers of adult adoption-related therapy no longer need to be registered with Ofsted. After hearing the news, Martin Bell, our Head of Policy and Public Affairs, said: “We’re absolutely thrilled to hear that the government has removed the Ofsted registration requirement for adult adoptees, birth mothers and adoptive parents. We’ve no doubt this change in legislation will significantly increase access to therapy and help more people at a time where they need it most. We’ve called for this change for many years as we know it’s caused a huge barrier for those trying to access vital, affordable, and appropriate counselling. Adoption can have a life-long impact on people and it’s crucial that anyone affected by it can access the mental health support they need. It’s also a topic that our members and clients feel incredibly passionate about. One of the issues that many of our therapists faced before this new legislation came into play was that it’s sometimes difficult to know if counselling will centre around adoption before therapy starts. Under the old rules, if adoption-related issues were unearthed in counselling, often the therapist had to stop working with the client and had few or even no onward referral pathways available for them. But now that the new change in law has come into play, therapists and clients will no longer have to face this upheaval and can access life changing therapy like any other adult.”

Marian O’Brien, who was adopted and recently affected by this issue, said: “Having finally decided to take the big step and have counselling to discuss my adoption story, I was told by the lovely therapist I had found that the law actually prohibited her from working with me I was incredulous! So, I am delighted with this news because it means I can get the support that I need from the therapist I want to work with.”

Our evidence was referred to throughout the government’s response to the consultation. The response also included our intention to create an adoption competence framework, and other good practice and CPD resources to enable members to develop their knowledge and understanding of this area. We’ve also committed to developing a training curriculum to support training providers to deliver training in this area. The report states: “the development of such a framework and training would deliver what many respondents asked for in their responses and should allow high quality provision with sufficient safeguarding for those registered with them.”

Please note: The new Ofsted guidance does not explicitly refer to the previous restrictions that were in place for therapists working with adults on issues related to adoption, and the fact that the required Ofsted registration has now been removed.

There are still circumstances where registration with Ofsted is required, including working therapeutically with children and young people around adoption issues or when providing other adoption related support to anyone in addition to counselling. You can view the new updated adoption support agency guidance and registration requirements here

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Articles / Bessborough survivor: 'The shame belongs with them'

« Last post by Forgotten Mother on September 06, 2024, 05:36:52 PM »

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40300739.html

Bessborough survivor: 'The shame belongs with them'

Sun, 30 May, 2021 - 06:35
Maresa Fagan

Survivors of mother and baby homes and other State institutions have been let down and only an international investigation can shed light on the “human rights violations” of the past, according to Bessborough survivor Terri Harrison. The 66-year-old Dublin campaigner is one of 13 women from Ireland and the North who have requested that the International Criminal Court (ICC) investigate the ‘violent legacy’ of mother and baby homes, Magdalene laundries, and industrial schools. The recent ICC request made by Belfast-based legal firm KRW Law is seeking a preliminary examination into whether the institutional abuse exposed in recent reports and inquiries amounted to “crimes against humanity”. Earlier this year, the Mother and Baby Home Commission of Investigation found that around 56,000 unmarried mothers and 57,000 children passed through 18 State-funded and church-run institutions examined and that around 9,000 babies and children died. The legacy of the institutions, which operated for more than seven decades, has left deep scars across society, from the mothers whose babies were taken away to the children who were adopted or who died and were buried in pits. The commission findings were met with widespread criticism from survivors and have led to several legal challenges against the State. For Terri, the final report was a “whitewash” as it failed to acknowledge or atone for the abduction and forced disappearances of thousands of young girls and women pregnant out of wedlock, their “stolen” babies, or for the children who died. “There wasn’t a whisper of humanity in the report,” Terri says, adding that it failed to address the issue of neglect and starvation or the 922 unaccounted for babies in the Bessborough facility in Cork.

'Pregnant from Ireland'

Terri is one of more than 2,500 PFIs Irish women or girls who were officially recorded as ‘pregnant from Ireland’ and brought back from the UK to a mother and baby home. It was 1973 when the Crusade and Rescue Society, an English-based Catholic charity, “abducted” the expectant 18-year-old from London and a nun and priest escorted her by car to the airport and onwards to the Bessborough mother and baby home in Cork. It was a day forever etched in Terri’s mind. “I will never forget the door and the click of the door when it closed. I was just left there in the hallway. I have never felt as alone in my life as I did in that moment,” she says.

“When I stood in that hallway I lost me. I was given a house number and house name and was shown to a bed and locker. I just sat there and cried and cried and said to myself ‘this is the bowels of hell’."

While Terri managed to escape from Bessborough and return to Dublin, she was tracked down and sent to St Patrick’s mother and baby home on the Navan Rd, where she gave birth to a baby boy, Niall, who was later “taken” for adoption. There was a cry, a primal scream, that you would hear regularly when a mother discovered that their baby was gone. "It was wrenching, like a cry from an animal,” she says.

Forty-eight years on, the pain and sense of loss remains, but Terri continues to hold out hope that she may someday reconnect with Niall, who she describes as her “shadow child”. “No matter where we were or what we were doing I always pictured him at the age he should be. I visualised him everywhere and at Christmas time there was always a present under the tree for him,” she says.

Terri is only too aware that her experience is not unique and last year got involved in setting up a support group, Society of Survivors, to enable women to share their experiences.

Carrying the secrets

Some women, she says, still carry the loss, silence, shame, and secrets today: “I know women in their eighties to this day who have not told anyone, including their husbands or families.”

Survivors, she explains, have endured ‘living bereavement’ even though there was no loss of life. “No death occurred but each stage of your life presents a new bereavement that amplifies all those years of loss. The loss of freedom and liberty, the loss of motherhood, the loss of the right to breastfeed your own child, it just goes on and on and it never stops until you die.”

Women and girls, some as young as 12, were “dehumanised” in the institutions, which could not be called a home, Terri says: “We weren’t residents. We were interned. We were incarcerated. We were recorded by our offence. I was down as my first offence. The only difference is we didn’t get a court of law or a trial to find us guilty of anything."

An independent international investigation, she believes, is the only way to uncover the true scale of the “human rights violations” and “inhumane” treatment that occurred. "There is a huge correlation between us and those who were incarcerated in war camps. You were 100% at the mercy of your captives. You could do nothing without their approval,” she says.

Any attempts to attribute what happened to the social norms of the time was a “cop-out”, Terri says, adding that it amounted to human trafficking, involving several sectors of the State and society, and that women and young girls were denied access to information and their rights, such as the right to see their child under the 1952 Adoption Act. “Who gave anybody the right to lock me away and take my child? Nobody will answer that,” she says.

The long-time campaigner, who has penned a play, No More Secrets, No More Lies, based on her own experiences, says the Government needs to acknowledge what happened and support survivors. An enhanced medical card, she says, does not compare to the Health Amendment Act (HAA) card provided to victims of the contaminated blood products scandal, which is what survivors are looking for as a "gesture of kindness". Any shame around these institutions today, Terri adds, lies firmly with the State and Government, and not survivors. “We are just a pain in their side or a toothache they want to get rid of. They don’t know what to do with us because we’re an embarrassment; we’re bringing embarrassment to the whole culture of this country,” Terri says.

“But I’ll keep saying this until I die; I like the word shame now because I know exactly where it belongs; the shame belongs with them."

Society of Survivors support line: 085 8069925/26