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Forgotten Mother

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14182105/mother-baby-homes-scandal.html

I was forced to give my son away after he was born in a mother and baby home in Ireland it took me 40 years to track him down

    Maria Arbuckle, 62, told the Guardian about the scandal which plagued Ireland
    READ MORE: Our lives are scarred forever by a medical scandal no one talks about in Australia

By ELMIRA TANATAROVA

Published: 12:11, 12 December 2024 | Updated: 12:20, 12 December 2024

One woman has laid bare the pain of being forced to give her baby away aged 18 and spending 40 years trying to look for him.  Maria Arbuckle, 62, candidly recounted her experiences with Ireland's mother and baby homes, which were designed to provide refuge for unwed mothers - but were years later embroiled in scandal after it emerged the institutions produced high levels of infant mortality, misogyny and stigmatisation of some of society's most vulnerable.  Speaking to The Guardian, she said even though she knew she wanted her child, 'everybody else was telling her she couldn't keep him'.

The campaigner, originally from Derry, has been outspoken about her traumatic experiences with the homes.  Aged 18, Maria met a 19-year-old singer musician who had a penchant for 'Irish rebel songs' and before long, she was shocked to find herself pregnant, never having been 'taught the facts of life'.  The romance didn't last more than six months, and the pregnant teen who was barely making any money in her traineeship with a bookmaker went to St Patrick's mother and baby home in Dublin.  'Psychologists have diagnosed me with complex PTSD [post‑traumatic stress disorder]. They think my time there must have been so traumatic that I blocked it out,' she told the outlet.

Maria says however that she remembers feeling 'terrified' and 'alone' just before giving birth.   After her baby, who she called Paul, after her brother, was born, official records given to Maria in 2021, sent by the Irish child and family agency, claimed she 'wouldn't rest' and 'wasn't being compliant' with the nuns, hence she had to be 'taken away from the situation'.  Maria found herself 'removed' from the home, and didn't see her baby boy until three months later in April, 1981 - for one last time, before signing the adoption papers through tears.  She explained: 'I always thought that I didn't want children that I didn't want to bring a child into the world that I'd grown up in. But I knew when I was carrying him that I wanted him. It was everybody else that was telling me I couldn't keep him.'

While Maria admitted that she was not in a good position to parent Paul, 'things could have been different' if she knew about the support which was available to her.  In 2021, Ireland's ex-premier Micheal Martin apologised to the victims of the mother and baby homes scandal and admitted 'the State failed' after a report found that 9,000 children had died in the institutions over seven decades.  The then Taoiseach had earlier been accused of 'whitewashing' the findings by campaigners who said the report shifted blame from those who ran the homes on to society at large.  He offered a profound apology on behalf of the Irish government, telling the victims: 'Each of you is blameless, each of you did nothing wrong and has nothing to be ashamed of.'

In a speech in the Irish parliament, the Dail, Mr Martin said: 'I apologise for the shame and stigma which they were subjected to and which, for some, remains a burden to this day.'

After her baby, who she called Paul, after her brother, was born, official records given to Maria in 2021, sent by the Irish child and family agency, claimed she 'wouldn't rest' and 'wasn't being compliant' with the nuns, hence she had to be 'taken away from the situation'.  Maria found herself 'removed' from the home, and didn't see her baby boy until three months later in April, 1981 for one last time, before signing the adoption papers through tears.   She explained: 'I always thought that I didn't want children that I didn't want to bring a child into the world that I'd grown up in. But I knew when I was carrying him that I wanted him. It was everybody else that was telling me I couldn't keep him.'

While Maria admitted that she was not in a good position to parent Paul, 'things could have been different' if she knew about the support which was available to her.  In 2021, Ireland's ex-premier Micheal Martin apologised to the victims of the mother and baby homes scandal and admitted 'the State failed' after a report found that 9,000 children had died in the institutions over seven decades.  The then Taoiseach had earlier been accused of 'whitewashing' the findings by campaigners who said the report shifted blame from those who ran the homes on to society at large.  He offered a profound apology on behalf of the Irish government, telling the victims: 'Each of you is blameless, each of you did nothing wrong and has nothing to be ashamed of.'

In a speech in the Irish parliament, the Dail, Mr Martin said: 'I apologise for the shame and stigma which they were subjected to and which, for some, remains a burden to this day.'

Tragically, horror struck Maria again shortly after her reunion with Paul as another one of her sons, Tony was killed aged 38 last October.  As reported by ITV, he was murdered in a brutal knife attack by his friend Nicholas Ward, 38, who was jailed for life with a minimum term of 21 years.  Maria has been vocal in her past struggles with the mother and baby homes. Earlier this year, she was among those calling for survivors of the scandal and families of all victims who died deserve the chance to apply for compensation.  Speaking to the BBC, she said: 'We’re getting older, and the truth needs to be out there.   We weren’t allowed to bond with our babies because we were told they weren’t our even though we were meant to bathe them and feed them every day.'

In June, consultations kicked off on proposals to establish an inquiry into the institutions.  The 2,865-page document published three years ago lifted the lid on years of abuse in homes for unmarried and pregnant Irish women.  Some of the institutions were owned and run by the local health authorities the county homes Pelletstown, Tuam and Kilrush.  Others were owned and run by religious orders; for example, the three homes run by the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary, Bessborough, Sean Ross and Castlepollard (the Sacred Heart homes).  Many of the women suffered emotional abuse and were often subject to denigration and derogatory remarks, the commission of investigation's report said.  Studying the homes over a 76-year period through 1998, the CIMBH determined that 9,000 children died in them, or 15 per cent of those who passed through.   The report says 56,000 unmarried mothers and 57,000 children passed through the homes examined.   Many of the women received little or no ante-natal care.  The report gave no single explanation for the deaths, but said 'the major identifiable causes were respiratory infections and gastroenteritis.'

It also highlighted a total of seven unethical vaccine trials on children in the institutions between 1934 and 1973.  Meanwhile women of the period who gave birth outside marriage were 'subject to particularly harsh treatment' at the hands of families and partners.  The CIMBH was established in 2015, after an amateur historian uncovered evidence of a potential mass grave of infants at one such home in the town of Tuam.

Babies 'carried out in shoe boxes to be buried': The stories behind the mother and baby homes

St Patrick's Navan Road, Dublin, 1919-1998

The majority of the 18,829 children admitted to St Patrick's Navan Road were alone at the time of their death.  Originally known as Pelletstown and later operated as Eglinton House, this institution was run by the Daughters of Charity who were employed by the relevant local authority at the time.  A total of 15,382 women and 18,829 children were admitted here between 1919 and 1998, according to commission's report.  Facilities at Pelletstown were described as 'inadequate' with just four lavatories provided for 140 women in 1950. In 1966, women were sleeping in dormitories with 52 and 30 beds respectively that offered no privacy.  A total of 3,615 children died; 78% of deaths occurred between 1920 and 1942, but unlike at many mother and baby homes, the burials of these infants are properly recorded in Glasnevin Cemetery.

Belmont Flatlets, Donnybrook, Dublin, 1980-2001

This was not a traditional mother and baby home but rather a hostel type short-term accommodation for a small number of women and children, about nine or ten at any one time.  It was opened by the Daughters of Charity and was financially supported by the Eastern Health Board. The women lived independently, but got support from social workers and public health nurses.  The commission stated: 'The mothers were there with their babies and left with their babies so the issue of tracing would not have arisen.'

Kilrush Nursery, Co. Clare, 1922-1932

The commission estimates that there were between 300 and 400 unmarried mothers and a much larger number of children in the west Clare facility.  It was run by the Congregation of the Sisters of Mercy nuns up to 1928, and afterwards by lay staff, and conditions were described as 'very poor', with leaking roofs, no baths, and no inside sanitary accommodation.  The mothers who lived there were also described as neglected, with no proper clothing or comfort of any kind.  The number of child deaths in this institution, however, is not known, but the medical officer described the death rate in 1927 as 'appalling'.

Bessborough House, Co. Cork, 1922-1998

The burial sites of the 923 children who died here still remain a mystery, largely due to the failings of local health authorities.  A total of 9,768 women and 8,938 children passed through the institution's doors, run by the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.  One young mother described how she was stripped of her name, belongings and life's savings when she became a resident.  'It would have been impossible to leave; all of our things had been confiscated, we had no clothes and no money,' she said.

'From time to time we were allowed outside, but were always escorted by nuns.  They marched us around like soldiers.'

Sean Ross, Roscrea, Co. Tipperary, 1931-1969

The Sean Ross mother and baby home was among the homes run by the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.  Within 38 years, 6,414 women were admitted and 6,079 babies were born there.  One such resident was Philomena Lee, whose story was turned into an award-winning film in 2013. During her stay, her son was forcibly taken from her and adopted by US parents in the 1950s. A total of 1,090 of the 6,079 babies who were born or admitted at Sean Ross had died, but the registers of burials were not maintained.  However, there is a burial ground, and the commission has established the remains of some children under the age of one are buried in coffins there.

Castlepollard, Co. Westmeath, 1935-1971

Several women told the commission of investigation that they witnessed nuns leaving the hospital with up to ten dead babies in shoe boxes and bringing them for burial on the grounds nearby. The burial sites were later marked by the presence of nails in the wall of a cemetery nearby.   The facility was run by the Congregations of the Sacred Heart, and a total of 4,559 babies were born here, but there is no register of burials for the 247 infants who died.

Regina Coeli, North Brunswick Street, Dublin, 1930-1998

A total of 734 children had died at this hostel accommodation with the peak of mortalities occurring in the early 1940s.  A 1948 report claimed that infant mortality at the facility was three times the rate in Pelletstown and that the hostel lacked 'almost every proper facility in regard to both nursing and structure'.

Dunboyne, Co. Meath, 1955-1991

The Dunboyne Mother and Baby home had the highest proportion of women under 18, with minors making up 23.4% of admissions.  Over one in ten admissions to Dunboyne were aged between 12 and 16, which was under the legal age of consent. There were a total of 3,156 mothers and 1,148 children, with 37 infant mortalities.

Bethany, Dublin city and Rathgar, 1922-1971

This facility was run mainly for Protestant women, and a total of 262 children associated with the Bethany Home in Dublin died. During its 50-year operation in Blackhall Place and later Rathgar, this mother and baby home accommodated 1,584 women and 1,376 children.  The commission found that the decision to no longer admit Catholic women meant that it was less overcrowded than the other mother and baby homes in the 1940s.

Other homes mentioned in the report included: Denny House (formerly the Magdalen Asylum), 1765-1994; Miss Carr's Flatlets, Dublin, 1972-present; St Gerard's, Dublin, 1919-1939; Cork County Home, 1921-1960; Kilkenny County Home, Thomastown, 1922-1960.