https://www.kidspot.com.au/news/adoption-couples-heartbreak-after-birth-mum-changes-her-mind/news-story/bcfbc6278413f375747d755c0986c41a?utm_campaign=EditorialSB&utm_source=Kidspot&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_content=SocialBakersAdoption: Couple's heartbreak after birth mum changes her mind
Madeline Cox
July 27, 2020
Sean and his wife Jenae sat anxiously outside the delivery suite as they waited to meet the baby they thought would become their adopted son. As soon as his birth mum gave the green light, the American parents rushed into the hospital room. They made it inside in time to watch the newborn boy take his first bath and have his footprints taken. Immediately they felt an incredibly strong bond with the tiny baby boy, which only grew stronger when they brought him home a few days later. By the time Sean and Jenae had spent six weeks caring for him, the beautiful precious boy felt like he had always been a part of their family. But then suddenly out of the blue, they received a phone call which would see their perfect world ripped apart in an instant.
"He was a total wreck"
It was the boy’s birth mum on the other end of the phone she told them that she had changed her mind. Overnight Sean and Jenae lost their son as he was immediately removed from their home and sent back to his birth mum. To make matters worse, as the birth mum had never terminated her parental rights and the adoption had yet to be finalized there was no way for Sean and Jenae to fight for the baby to be returned to their care. “This period of time was devastating to our family, but especially to our nine-year-old son,” Sean first wrote on Love What Matters.
“This was his little brother. This was the baby he woke up to every morning, rubbing his feet, helping us feed him, talking to him about the future, and what we were going to do for the day. To say he was a total wreck is a complete understatement.”
"We ALWAYS said yes"
Together, the family took some time to heal from the unexpected loss. But despite their grief, Sean says that they were more determined than ever to adopt. It only took a couple of months for them to put themselves back on the list to become adoptive parents. “We would randomly receive phone calls where we would be asked about potential children we could bring into our home,” Sean said.
“Without hesitation, we ALWAYS said yes. There were several times where the birth mother ended up picking another family. As hard as it was to be told she had picked someone else, we knew when it was our turn - the right child would come our way.”
"The pure emotion on his face"
Sure enough, a couple of months later, the right call finally came through. From the very beginning of the call, Sean and Jenae knew that this time was different from all the others they had received before. For starters, the birth mum had actually already had the baby and had placed her son with a temporary foster family. She immediately arranged to meet Sean and Jenae for lunch which went off without a hitch. Before they knew it, they were on their way to meet their son for the first time and take him home. “I can’t begin to express the emotions that came over all of us, especially my nine-year-old son,” Sean said.
“To see the pure emotion on his face when his new baby brother came in the room is something I will never forget.”
"Won’t she be sad?"
The family spent the next hour in the room with their baby boy and his birth mum. It was an incredibly emotional time with everyone crying and laughing together. They had already agreed to open adoption, which meant that when it came time for their son’s birth mum to leave they knew they would see her soon. But it was still an incredibly hard moment for everyone. “We watched as she gave our son one more hug and a kiss and then left the room,” Sean said.
“I could not imagine the emotions she was dealing with, the strength she had, and how she must be feeling. Even our son was worried. He said, ‘Won’t she be sad?’ His love and genuine compassion for all parties involved truly touched all of us that day.”
"We hope to be able to help"
After the birth mum left, the new family dried their eyes and headed home with their baby boy, and quickly adjusted to life as a family-of-four. “We have been humbled by this experience and every step of the entire process,” Sean said.
“We now hope to be a sounding board to families as they experience their own adoption journey. We hope to be able to help in any way possible. We just hope to be a part of someone else’s village when they need it!”
