https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-05-17/adoption-inquiry-wodonga-mum-says-pain-worse-after-60-years/100142692?utm_campaign=abc_news_web&utm_content=facebook&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_web&fbclid=IwAR0eujF9umcflAbQfV5pKpOxQW2rKEziOFnI0nuL0QVozIo7f74s3LZJiukForced adoption pain even more raw for Victorian mother 60 years on
ABC Goulburn Murray / By Erin Somerville
Posted Mon 17 May 2021 at 12:20am, updated Mon 17 May 2021 at 1:56am
It has been 60 years since Merle Kelly woke from a general anaesthetic to find her newborn had been taken away, but the pain from that day gets rawer as the years go on. Ms Kelly reopens those wounds each time she takes part in an inquiry into forced adoption and pushes for adoption law changes. She reluctantly will once again tell her story when the Inquiry into Responses to Historical Forced Adoptions in Victoria meets in her hometown of Wodonga on Tuesday, and was bracing to revisit the trauma. "It's worse this year," she said, having battled health scares amid a lonely pandemic lockdown.
"I've taken part in almost every inquiry. In fact, this one I was reluctant to."
Key points:
* A hearing will be held in Wodonga as part of a Victorian inquiry into forced adoption
* Victims of forced adoption are hoping for a redress scheme and better support
* One adoption support group says the grief from forced adoption could manifest into anxiety, depression, and impact upon relationships
Single and pregnant in the 1960s
Ms Kelly described herself as a "naive" 17-year-old living in Parramatta in 1961 when she discovered she was pregnant and raced to the aisle to marry an older man in the church where she taught Sunday School. Her dream of being happily married with her own family was quickly shattered. Just six weeks before she was due to give birth to her daughter, she discovered the man she had exchanged vows with already had a wife and three children. "Even though I believed I was married I went to the Parramatta Court House and they told me because the marriage was bigamous I didn't have a leg to stand on," she said.
She was told there was no government support available to her. Ms Kelly was able to return home to her parents, but she felt alone and isolated. She was too ashamed to see the family's GP and had to give birth at the then King George V Memorial Hospital for Mothers and Babies after she was refused a bed at Parramatta. "The stigma follows you, it doesn't matter where you go," she said.
"It just felt like I was wearing a sign 'I'm single, I'm pregnant'."
Forcing her hand
With no partner or financial, emotional or social support, Ms Kelly said she knew when she went into hospital that she would not be taking her baby home. It was not a conversation she had with anyone it was just what was done. "In those days, I didn't even know what the word adoption meant," Ms Kelly said.
She said the trauma started long before her first contractions and the birth was difficult. Ms Kelly was put under general anaesthetic as her daughter stubbornly refused to turn to allow for delivery. "My baby obviously knew what was going to happen," she said.
No contact, no movement
When Ms Kelly woke up, she was surrounded by a room full of new mothers but not one of the babies was hers. "I wasn't allowed to see her," she said.
"I wasn't allowed to move out of the ward I was in, even though I was in the big ward with the women with all their babies being brought around to be fed and changed."
While she was kept apart from her baby, her "husband" was allowed to see his daughter. Three days later, she was taken to a social worker's office where she said she numbly followed orders. "You didn't have any option," Ms Kelly said.
"That's why it's forced."
Trauma surfacing decades on
There was no support or counselling for either mothers or their children in the days and years that followed. "I just had a totally new life and I just had to bury it I think that's why it's hitting me so bad now, 60 years later," Ms Kelly said.
"All of this is now coming out."
Ms Kelly has now connected with her daughter, Jennifer, but the scarring caused by the forced adoption will never fade. "It has just caused total, irreparable damage," Ms Kelly said.
Support for victims
The Victorian Adoption Network for Information and Self Help (VANISH) has been helping adults affected by adoption for more than 30 years. VANISH assists with more than 200 searches for parents and children each year and offers around 800 instances of support via phone, in person, or email annually. Many of those who use the service are older than 40 and were affected by forced adoption. VANISH manager Charlotte Smith said it was not a well-understood issue in communities and provided a safe space for people to share their experiences. "The reality is the separation had such a big impact on their lives that you can never really completely heal all that," she said.
Ms Smith said long-standing grief and trauma from adoption could manifest into anxiety, depression, and impact upon relationships. "They really feel like this issue is treated like it's something in the past but for people with a lived experience it's very much a live issue, it's something that they're struggling with," she said.
Many people who accessed VANISH had welcomed the inquiry, and wanted to see more community education, the lifting of the statutes of limitations so individuals could take legal action if they chose, and to roll out a redress scheme. "This experience changed the trajectory of people's lives in a really negative way and some of them are really struggling, so financial assistance and recourse would make a big difference," Ms Smith said.
'Sorry' just a start
In 2012, the Victorian government issued a formal apology to those harmed by past adoption practices in the state. That followed a recommendation from the 2012 Commonwealth Senate Standing Committee on Community Affairs in its report on the Commonwealth Contribution to Former Forced Adoption Policies and Practices. In 2013, the then prime minister, Julia Gillard, apologised on behalf of the Australian government. For many, it marked just the beginning of the healing process. Forced adoptions predominantly took place between the 1940s and 1980s throughout Australia, but also occurred outside of this time period. Victoria has acknowledged that governments, non-government organisations, religious institutions and professionals such as doctors and social workers all played a role in enabling children to be forcibly taken away. The Inquiry into Responses to Historical Forced Adoptions in Victoria was launched in 2019. The Legislative Assembly agreed on November 26, 2020 to extend the reporting date for this inquiry to July 2021, and has branched its hearing into regional Victoria. "We want to ensure that anyone who has been affected by forced adoptions can have their say to this inquiry," Legislative Assembly Legal and Social Issues Committee chair Natalie Suleyman said.
"Taking into account the lived experience of people who endured these practices, we will be making recommendations on the responses that have been made and the support services available."
