Author Topic: 'I've been told I'm a child abuser just because I'm a mum with epilepsy'  (Read 887 times)

Forgotten Mother

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/ive-been-told-im-child-23789074?utm_source=mirror_newsletter&utm_campaign=12at12_newsletter2&utm_medium=email&pure360.trackingid=dc332faa-28fb-48e4-8537-38b9191e9675

'I've been told I'm a child abuser just because I'm a mum with epilepsy'

Mum-of-one Charlotte Callister, 30 has been labelled a "child abuser" and "waste of life" by vile trolls because she has epilepsy, and was once mugged for her engagement ring while having a fit

By Rosaleen Fenton Audience Writer

08:00, 25 MAR 2021 Updated 09:06, 25 MAR 2021

She's a working mum-of-one with epilepsy, surrounded by family, who loves Star Wars and socialising with her friends.  But trolls hiding under the cowardly cloak of anonymity have cruelly abused Charlotte Callister, 30 because she has epilepsy.  Over the years, Charlotte, of Sefton, Merseyside, has encountered countless hurtful messages about the common neurological condition.  In some cases, they weren't from people hiding behind a phone or screen, but by people she has met in real life, who unthinkingly said something hurtful.  Previously Charlotte, who struggled to conceive after her epilepsy medicine left her with fertility issues, was told she was guilty of "child abuse" because of her seizures.  Now she's decided to speak out about her experiences in order to reduce the stigma and awareness around epilepsy.  Charlotte, who works in digital marketing, said: "I have had my engagement ring stolen during a seizure.  I've had people telling me I shouldn't have kids, I'm a waste of life, I should have died, my husband should leave me, I'm guilty of child abuse because of my seizures.  I've dealt with some really ignorant questions, ranging from things like my sex life to whether I should be allowed to use a computer.  I have epilepsy but epilepsy doesn’t have me. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect certain areas of my life, but I might have to do them differently.  It’s about saying ‘if I want to do that, how can I do it in a way that’s safe for me?’”

She added: "I don't think people are aware of the impact that epilepsy has on the rest of your life.  They don't understand what you can do, and can't. It's only very recently that people could get married, we're still quite behind about knowing and accepting epilepsy."

The mum-of-one says she wishes that people knew that epilepsy was more than just seizures.  She added: "There isn't an area of my life that hasn't been impacted by it. You don't have a seizure and then you're fine.  It affects your confidence for days on the mental health and physical level."

Years of treatment for her condition left Charlotte and her husband Ian struggling to conceive after the powerful drugs she takes to control her epilepsy had a huge impact.  The couple pinned their hopes of parenthood on IVF treatment and now have a son aged five-years-old.  "The medication Epilim I took between the ages of 12-17 actually affected my fertility and caused me to have PCOS," Charlotte said.

'Once this was confirmed I went on to have IVF, and was lucky enough to get pregnant on my second cycle.  'I did a programme with Radio 4 about my Epilepsy and Pregnancy too."

The comments that sting the most relate to being a mum admits Charlotte.  She said: "I can't fathom what goes on in people's heads, that's their opinion.  Nothing I will say can change that but I can't lie and say those comments don't get to me, it took so long for us to have our son.  There have been times where I've had a seizure, my mum has had to help with childcare because my husband is at work.  And I just feel like I'm such a bad mum and my son doesn't deserve this. Luckily my mum usually sorts me out."

Charlotte tried to attend university twice but was forced to leave following bullying and an increase in seizures.  She said: "Epilepsy has affected near enough every aspect of my life. I had to leave two different universities due to my epilepsy. At Cardiff Uni I was bullied in the halls due to my disabled room.  People would play knock and run on my door, making sure I didn't sleep. The bed I was given was just two mattresses on the floor!  I then had to leave Newport University due to my increasing tonic-clonic seizures, meaning my attendance dipped."

She was diagnosed with epilepsy after suffering a tonic-clonic seizure (the type where you drop to the floor and your body starts shaking) when she was 11.  Now Charlotte is working with Epilepsy Action as new research shows a lack of public understanding around the common condition.  In their poll, nearly 1,000 people said they wished people knew that the impact of living with epilepsy goes far beyond seizures.  Friday 26 March is Purple Day, the global day for epilepsy, and a chance to redress the balance.  Charlotte said: "I am passionate about raising awareness because so many people have epilepsy in the UK, and yet still there is so much stigma and lack of awareness about the condition.  I particularly like people to understand how much epilepsy affects every part of your everyday life.  You don’t just have a seizure and move on. It affects your confidence, mental health, independence, parenting, conceiving, relationships, work-life.  You don't realise how much you use your tongue for example until you have bitten it during a tonic-clonic seizure then it swells up to the size of your mouth and you can’t talk, swallow your own saliva let alone eat!"

Charlotte has written a blog for Purple Day 2020, which can be found here.