Some happiness during this time

Two days ago one of our nieces had her third child, another daughter, which is lovely news.  My sister has found it hard not seeing her grandchildren but now that there is relaxing of the number of people who can be together she had her two granddaughters while their mum was in the hospital.  She was able to go home four hours after having her baby.  My sister is very happy to cuddle the latest edition.

I still find it tough at moments when a family baby is born as I know each one will be loved equally with all the children.  My baby wasn’t even given a chance although I do believe my dad and sister would have loved him.  My mum couldn’t even make a pretence of liking my son when he turned up as an adult.  I will never, ever forget my mum telling me she didn’t understand why he wanted to know me when his adoptive family was his only family.  I was tempted to let rip that his ‘only family’ couldn’t give him medical information, where he got his interests but I knew she wasn’t interested and didn’t want to know either.  To this day I can not understand why a mother can be so determined that her daughter’s baby is adopted and then never want anything to do with the child when he / she is an adult.  It goes way beyond spite. it’s evil and borders on being a narcissist.  It’s something that never really surprised me but it still hurts.

I am thankful we are seeing the light beyond the tunnel with regards to the lockdown as it’s getting more and more stressful not being able to do anything or go anywhere.  It’s not that I particularly want to go far it’s more to do with being restricted and not being able to do something different.  I’ve started getting back to old hobbies such as writing and sketching.  I’ve ‘enrolled’ myself for a year to do passable comic sketching which will be challenging.  Now I am just waiting for stuff to arrive so I can get on with it.  Wool has come out ag0ain to crotchet basic blankets although I have bought myself a crochet book to teach myself more complicated things.