Monthly Archives: August 2025
Adoption Paperwork
April 2005
Can’t get my mind of the email I received from D yesterday apologizing for not responding sooner but she will be checking the file again to make sure she hasn’t missed anything. I can’t stop thinking about why I can’t remember signing the consent to surrender form. Anne from Empty Arms seems to think we possibly signed the paper(s) at a magistrate’s home rather than at court but I really can’t remember doing either. If I did go to a magistrate’s home or court to do this then I certainly do have a big whole in my memory – it’s almost scary.
Rick reminded me this morning that he needed to get to the hospital before 9.15 am and I was shocked I had forgotten after all the nagging I’d done. It’s beyond me why he had to take his sample (instructions from hospital) on a Tuesday but at least it’s been done now. We couldn’t have done it next Tuesday as we are going to Hove to look at the flat and to see family then it’s the following Monday that we have got our next appointment. At the moment I just feel like crying as I’m so stressed out with it all. I’m expecting bad news that nothing can be done to help me to conceive so if it’s bad news I’m prepared but if it’s good news then I will have something to look forward to. The only thing that worries me a bit is how A will react if I do get pregnant. I know he has been nagging me about this but if it does happen then the reality will set in that I will have a baby to think about so less time to do things like be involved in his website.”
D from the ARC had been the one who had sorted out the copies of the adoption papers for me so I had contacted her again as I thought a copy of the consent to surrender form would be included. One month on and I still haven’t heard from her nor is it likely I will ever get a copy of that paper. I don’t even know what court it is held at.
*At this time we were also still going through tests to find out why I hadn’t conceived. It was quite a stressful time for both of us which wasn’t helped by my son adding to this as he was constantly telling me he wanted a sibling. As it turned out I didn’t get the Consent to Relinquish form and eventually I just gave up. I kept trying periodically but was constantly given the run around so in the end I got tired and fed up of the stress it was causing.
Contacting family
7th April 2005
Sent my cousin Simon a message through Genes Reunited this message so it will be interesting to see if he responds as I haven’t spoken to him in years. Hoping he will take the bait about me asking him if he would like an invite to our site on MyFamily.com. It would be good as I have had problems finding out info on that side of the family and I can’t exactly ask for help from my mum. It does hurt at times that she never responds to my letters and leaves it to my dad – he doesn’t bother responding very often either. I don’t even know how they feel about me having tests to find out why I haven’t conceived. The way I am feeling at the moment is that if a miracle happens and I do get pregnant I’m wondering if it is really worth me telling them. I know, if it does happen, I will let them know but I’m not expecting a response back so that will be their loss.
Received a lovely message from Margaret, Rick’s cousin who lives in the States. She regularly looks on our site and has contributed as well to it so we are pleased she has an interest in it though Rick’s cousin Barry has been contributing too. Margaret had asked who Anthony was, so Rick asked me to respond to that one as he felt it would sound better from me. I let Margaret know yesterday morning so she responded quickly – I got the impression she felt a bit guilty as she thought Anthony may have been a cousin of Rick’s. Her response was perfect though and she has been accepting as well. I sometimes wonder about my family – Simon responded back through Genes Reunited but has let me know what his dad’s email address is. Sent my uncle an email anyway to let him know how I am and to pick his brains. I have sent him an invite to our site as well so hopefully he will have a look at that as well.
My contact with my cousin has been sporadic over the past year usually because he forgets to respond to my emails then has a dig at me months later. That’s just about what I expect from my relatives and I’m not sure which side is worse. Still, it doesn’t bother me as I know I’m thought about and they do support me in their own strange way. My aunts, uncles and cousins have always seemed to have thought more of me than my own parents and sister.
Family
6th April 2005
Today I have received several emails from Anthony which has made me smile including letting me know one of my cousins has joined Genes Reunited. Haven’t been on that site much lately as I’ve been pre-occupied with other things but I may get round to emailing him so he can view my family tree provided Anthony doesn’t beat me to it. Anthony’s website he has created for our family tree is impressive so have become a member of that which will make life a bit easier for sharing information as I can put stuff straight on it. Rick has changed his mind yet again about viewing that flat, so I’ve agreed to it, anything for a quiet life. I still ideally want to move to another house but that seems very unlikely unless we win the lottery. Making the most of a quiet evening though as Rick has gone to a men’s meeting at the church.
*I hadn’t heard anything from any of my cousins for years so what little news I got came from my parents. Although I was enjoying doing family research my son had a tendency of beating me to information. It would cheer me up when I could actually give him information instead.
We were living in Hartlepool at the time and for a variety of reasons we wanted to move further south. It wasn’t that we didn’t like Hartlepool, we did, but travelling time to see family was tiring. Family members of mine had lived there and one of my distant relatives had been mayor of Hartlepool more than a hundred years ago.