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Contacting family
7th April 2005
Sent my cousin Simon a message through Genes Reunited this message so it will be interesting to see if he responds as I haven’t spoken to him in years. Hoping he will take the bait about me asking him if he would like an invite to our site on MyFamily.com. It would be good as I have had problems finding out info on that side of the family and I can’t exactly ask for help from my mum. It does hurt at times that she never responds to my letters and leaves it to my dad – he doesn’t bother responding very often either. I don’t even know how they feel about me having tests to find out why I haven’t conceived. The way I am feeling at the moment is that if a miracle happens and I do get pregnant I’m wondering if it is really worth me telling them. I know, if it does happen, I will let them know but I’m not expecting a response back so that will be their loss.
Received a lovely message from Margaret, Rick’s cousin who lives in the States. She regularly looks on our site and has contributed as well to it so we are pleased she has an interest in it though Rick’s cousin Barry has been contributing too. Margaret had asked who Anthony was, so Rick asked me to respond to that one as he felt it would sound better from me. I let Margaret know yesterday morning so she responded quickly – I got the impression she felt a bit guilty as she thought Anthony may have been a cousin of Rick’s. Her response was perfect though and she has been accepting as well. I sometimes wonder about my family – Simon responded back through Genes Reunited but has let me know what his dad’s email address is. Sent my uncle an email anyway to let him know how I am and to pick his brains. I have sent him an invite to our site as well so hopefully he will have a look at that as well.
My contact with my cousin has been sporadic over the past year usually because he forgets to respond to my emails then has a dig at me months later. That’s just about what I expect from my relatives and I’m not sure which side is worse. Still, it doesn’t bother me as I know I’m thought about and they do support me in their own strange way. My aunts, uncles and cousins have always seemed to have thought more of me than my own parents and sister.
Family
6th April 2005
Today I have received several emails from Anthony which has made me smile including letting me know one of my cousins has joined Genes Reunited. Haven’t been on that site much lately as I’ve been pre-occupied with other things but I may get round to emailing him so he can view my family tree provided Anthony doesn’t beat me to it. Anthony’s website he has created for our family tree is impressive so have become a member of that which will make life a bit easier for sharing information as I can put stuff straight on it. Rick has changed his mind yet again about viewing that flat, so I’ve agreed to it, anything for a quiet life. I still ideally want to move to another house but that seems very unlikely unless we win the lottery. Making the most of a quiet evening though as Rick has gone to a men’s meeting at the church.
*I hadn’t heard anything from any of my cousins for years so what little news I got came from my parents. Although I was enjoying doing family research my son had a tendency of beating me to information. It would cheer me up when I could actually give him information instead.
We were living in Hartlepool at the time and for a variety of reasons we wanted to move further south. It wasn’t that we didn’t like Hartlepool, we did, but travelling time to see family was tiring. Family members of mine had lived there and one of my distant relatives had been mayor of Hartlepool more than a hundred years ago.
‘Holes’ in My Memory
5th April 2005
A few weeks ago I received copies of the adoption papers which I was pleased about as it filled a hole in my memory. On reading them it was no surprise to realize the reason I had a ‘hole’ in my memory was because I hadn’t given any of the information on them. It was still a bit irritating to read half-truths and lies though, the only absolute truth was descriptions of myself and my ex. The only other bit of truth was about my mum being asthmatic and that she had been in contact with Rubella so I’m partially deaf and a hardly noticeable speech defect. The only thing that really disappointed me was that I thought there would be copies of the consent to surrender form and nobody told me that they wouldn’t be included even though I had mentioned not remembering signing the papers so wanted to see copies.
When I saw my counsellor for the last time which was the same day as I got copies of the adoption papers, I mentioned this. All she could mumble was something about the consent to surrender form being at the court that dealt with the adoption. I left it that as she has never been very helpful about explaining my rights so just didn’t know what to say but it has been on my mind since then.
Last week this subject was brought up in another online group I belong to specifically for women who have had a child adopted but haven’t had any more children. Some of the others have said they have copies of the consent to surrender form, so it has got the rest of us thinking about this, so we are going to try and get copies as well. Yesterday I emailed my contact at the Adoption Resource Centre thanking her again for being so helpful before over the other papers then went on to explain what I was after this time.
Now I am feeling a bit frustrated about having to wait for a response but I’m hoping this means she will find out how I get copies of the papers I want. I hate this feeling of having holes in my memory from that time and I can’t ask my parents as it has never been open to debate to discuss Anthony’s adoption. Even now the only person I discuss Anthony with is my dad and then it’s stilted, he only mentions Anthony when they have spoken to each other – I hate that so much. I get more support from my in-laws, and they openly admit they don’t understand what I have been through. At least Chris and Peter were fine about meeting Anthony the last time we saw him, and they often ask after him. One thing that cheered me up is that Rick is having second thoughts about viewing the flat of the lady who wants to do a mutual exchange with us. I want to get back down south but I don’t really want to give up a house for a flat as we do have the dogs and it wouldn’t be fair on the cat even though she is a ‘house’ cat as she still likes sunning herself outside.
*It was painful to receive them, but I have never regretted getting them as I have been able to move on. I do wonder about my parents though … I sometimes think they live in a parallel universe with the things they come out with, and the adoption papers were a classic example of that.
When my son was adopted, paperwork had to be filled out, but I never saw any of it so the first time I saw anything was in 2005. Only the basic information was true, and the rest read as if I wanted my son adopted. I knew the information had come from my mother from the way it was worded including she would have liked to have helped me but couldn’t be due to her health. This came from the same person who was fit enough to look after my niece who was a baby at the time.
Talking about adoption
4th April 2005
Been a better day today. Helped by having a decent conversation in the chat room (online forum) yesterday, made me realise how lucky I am compared to others who have greater problems than me.
A couple of hours ago one of the church members came round to see us to let us know he wanted to give us his car.
Typical I start something and company turns up so will have to come back to this later.
Rick and I knew John was getting a new car at some point so as our car ‘died’ a while back we have been saving up money for another although Rick had offered to buy John’s car when he got his new one. I was absolutely gobsmacked when John said he didn’t want any money for the car so we will give money to the church instead. John brought up about Paul, so we didn’t mind telling him why we were so upset particularly me. He knew about our idea for a support group and after listening to what we both said he understand why we felt the way we did. John said it would need to be prayed about but also said he knew it was going to happen. I was pleased he had that attitude and surprised that John said Paul was set in his ways despite being basically a good person at heart. John feels that Paul needs to be educated about adoption issues, but it would be wasted on him as he is too set in his ways so just wouldn’t understand. He also thinks Paul is out of order though for his attitude particularly after finding out the full story of my connection to adoption. John went on to tell us about his aunt’s six children who were all adopted but are now reunited with the rest of the family and they are all Christians. He also mentioned that there are grandparents in the church who had grandchildren adopted – it’s amazing to hear someone talk about this subject without any prejudice. I am so choked to be shown such love from someone I hardly know.
*Paul is an elder of the church we went to before moving down south and he did end up being a good friend once we sorted out our differences. He had given us the impression that he thought all mothers were drug users/and or prostitutes which really upset me at the time. It took us several weeks to sort the differences out as Paul kept putting his foot in it with me so for a while, I was avoiding him.
I found attitudes were, overall, positive towards me when friends found out about my son. Occasionally there were awkward moments which I learned to deal with even if it meant changing the subject. There were also the well-intentioned comments about how ‘wonderful’ it was that we had reunited. I would take a deep breath, smile, and just nod my head. At times I wanted to scream at them that no it wasn’t wonderful, and my son should never have been adopted. People meant well and I knew that I had two choices; either watch what I said or be honest. With time I learnt to say it how it was in a calm way.
Memories
18th July 2010
I first started a journal back in September 2004 and several weeks after finding my son. I had stated posting on an adoption forum when someone suggested doing so as a way to help myself cope. Up until I found my son, I had been silent, not even talking to my husband about him. It had been my sister who had told my husband about my son about six months after we had married.
My adoption journey had started back in 1981 when my son was born on the 3rd August. I had split from his father soon after I fell pregnant and didn’t tell him when I found out. It was wrong not to. I was angry and didn’t want him to have anything to do with my baby nor did I think he would believe that the baby was his. However, I wanted to raise my son so kept quiet long enough not to be pressured into aborting by my parents. They had done this to my sister when she was 15 and had fallen pregnant. She and her boyfriend who was working wanted to raise their baby, but it wasn’t to be.
When my parents found out they were so angry and decided my baby was to be adopted. They arranged everything despite me not agreeing to it and refusing to talk about it. The first time I saw a social worker from the adoption agency was after my son was born. I told her how I felt, and she told me she would put a halt to the adoption. This didn’t happen and between her and my parents they constantly lied to me. I believed the lies, didn’t know my rights, didn’t see any paperwork and it is questionable I signed anything, so I was a complete walkover.
I was expected to get on with my life, never talk about my son and to forget about him. I got on with my life, didn’t talk about my son but I never forgot about him. Subsequently I suffer with depression to the point of being suicidal at times and self-harmed.
It was a shock when I found my son in 2004 days after his 23rd birthday on Genes Reunited. It turned out he had been searching for me for five years and had found my family quite quickly. They never told me, nor did they ever tell him where I was. I was so angry at the time although I didn’t let him know that. It was a few weeks before I let my parents know I had found my son. Their excuse for not telling me about contact was that they didn’t know if my husband knew about him. All I could assume was either they were telling the truth, or they did know what my sister had done. I didn’t want this to get the better of me so left it at that.
However, with reunion my emotions exploded to the surface, and I found it hard to cope. So, when the suggestion of keeping a journal was given, I jumped at it. I had been silent for 23 years and now it was my time to talk even if it was by the written word. I started a journal on the forums I belonged to at that time as I wanted to share my feelings.
‘Just say sorry’, say forcibly adopted women
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czdvg3y1jgeo
‘Just say sorry’, say forcibly adopted women
Fiona Irving & Jody Sabral
BBC News, South East
Cash Murphy
BBC News, South East
- Published14 July 2025
Two Kent women who were removed from their mothers when they were just weeks old and forcibly adopted say they need the government to formally apologise in order to help them recover from the trauma.
“Why can’t they just say sorry? They haven’t got the guts,” said Helen Weston from Yalding who was taken from her 15-year-old mother when she was 12 days old.
Nikki Paine, from Ashford, who was adopted at six weeks old, and was diagnosed with PTSD, says she just wants an acknowledgement of what happened to her.
A demonstration is due to take place on Wednesday to urge the government to apologise to the hundreds of people forcibly adopted during the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s as well as their mothers.
An inquiry by the human rights select committee, undertaken in 2021, looked at the experiences of children adopted across this period because their parents were either underage or not married.
Published in July 2022, its report recommended a formal apology after finding that babies were taken from mothers who did not want to let them go.
The Welsh and Scottish governments have officially apologised to those affected by forced adoptions, but the UK government so far has not.
‘Wracked with guilt’
Ms Weston said: “If we get the validation then maybe my birth mother won’t be so wracked with guilt and shame and keeping this dreadful secret.”
She was adopted in 1967 after her teenage mother was forced to give her up.
She says it has had a profound impact on her life and was diagnosed with complex PTSD.
“I’m not angry with anybody, I think that’s why I get so depressed,” she said.
“If there was one person I could be angry at, if one person was responsible, then I could give them a gob full and get rid of it.
“They genuinely thought they were doing the best for us.”
Ms Paine, who has also been diagnosed with complex PTSD, will be among those demonstrating in Westminster on Monday.
She said: “We’re all suffering from anxiety, we’re all on antidepressants.
“The apology would get the mental health support and that’s really important.”
She said: “We want this to be recognised because they took me away from my mother.
“I’m 63-years-old and it’s still affecting my life.”
‘I wanted my real mum’
Wednesday’s protest has been organised by adoptee advocate Zara Phillips, and is supported by the Movement for an Adoption Apology.
According to the group, between 1945 and 1976 an estimated 215,000 women had their children taken away from them.
A spokesperson for the group said: “We are all growing older and time is running out.
“We have been ignored by successive governments and now urgently need a public apology for this very personal and painful lifelong trauma.”
They said: “A public apology would help mothers and adoptees change the narrative around what was done to them.
“It would acknowledge the injustice and the loss which will endure for the rest of their lives.”
Some adoptees say they feel like they do not belong in their adoptive families especially when their adoptive parents have their own birth children.
Ms Weston said: “I was adopted into a family who had two children of their own, the dynamic with my adopted family was that I was always a problem child,” said Mrs Weston.
Ms Paine echoed this sentiment, saying: “I told my mother that she never hugged me, but she said you never wanted me to, and I thought how can you say that, but of course I wanted my real mum.”
The Department for Education has been approached for a comment.
Reflection of adoption
It’s coming up for the most hated time of the year for me. It will be 44 years on the 3rd August that my son was born and it doesn’t get any easier. I shouldn’t let it get to me so much yet it still does and I still can’t talk about it either. It probably comes down to I was expected to carry on as normal as if nothing had happened.
I can still remember my son being born as is it was a recent event. There wasn’t anybody to celebrate with and my tears were of pain and sadness not happiness. I insisted on seeing him and that was the only time I felt happy knowing how beautiful he was. At the same time I knew deep down that this was one battle I wouldn’t win and I wouldn’t raise him.
Reflection on adoption
I haven’t spent time writing anything on adoption and me as it seemed easier not think about it. Even when conversations have come round to children I tend to deflect or keep quiet. My friends I.R.L don’t have an adoption connection so it can be hard to mention anything particularly as my son and I don’t talk. One friend’s daughter has been approved to adopt and I know I can talk with this friend as she knows the basics. I’d rather be able to talk to someone even as an adoptive grandmother as it may help knowing that cut backs are happening with adoption support. It’s wrong as the children need as much support as possible.
To be continued …..
I was branded Britain’s most hated woman for buying twin babies online for £8k in ‘cash for babies scandal’… here’s what happened next
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14831519/Britain-hated-woman-buying-twin-babies.html
I was branded Britain’s most hated woman for buying twin babies online for £8k in ‘cash for babies scandal’… here’s what happened next
- Do YOU have a story? Email tips@dailymail.com
Published: 16:04, 22 June 2025 | Updated: 17:08, 22 June 2025
She was branded the most hated woman in Britain after paying more than £8,000 to buy twin babies from the US on the internet.
Judith Kilshaw found herself at the centre of an international scandal after adopting the six-month old girls who had already been sold to a childless couple in America.
More than 20 years on, Judith admits her life had been ‘plagued’ by the global controversy which ended with her losing the children – along with her home and her marriage.
But defiant Judith, 71, insists she has ‘no regrets’ and told how she has not given up hope of being reunited with the twins.
Speaking exclusively to MailOnline from her home in Wrexham, Judith told MailOnline: ‘I have thought a lot about the case over the years and asked myself if I regretted doing it.
‘To a certain extent it has plagued my life – it never goes away.
‘It was a nightmare to start with but time heals things. There’s bigger things to think about.
‘But I have no regrets. I thought I could give the girls a better life and give them opportunities in life.
Judith Kilshaw (pictured) found herself at the centre of an international scandal after adopting the six-month old girls who had already been sold to a childless couple in America
Alan and Judith Kelshaw (pictured) sparked a ‘cash-for babies’ outcry in 2001 after they paid £8,200 to adopt Kiara and Keyara Wecker
Two six month old twin girls, Kimberley (right) and Belinda (left) sit on a sofa in Chester in Jan 2001
The front page of the Daily Mail in January 2001 which features the story
Judith (pictured) settled back into relative obscurity but much has happened in the intervening years, which can be revealed for the first time by MailOnline
‘I am open to speaking to them but I have never spoken to them. But if they wanted to, I would love to get in touch.’
Judith and her solicitor husband Alan sparked a ‘cash-for babies’ outcry in 2001 after they paid £8,200 to adopt Kiara and Keyara Wecker.
They brought the twins, who they renamed Belinda and Kimberley, to Britain hoping to start a new life as a family at their seven-bedroom farmhouse in Buckley, north Wales.
But things did not go according to plan.
Then-prime minister Tony Blair called the adoption deal ‘disgusting’ and the twins were seized by social services and taken into emergency protection.
They were returned to the US after a High Court judge annulled the adoption.
Since then, Judith settled back into relative obscurity but much has happened in the intervening years, which can be revealed for the first time by MailOnline.
In the aftermath of the scandal, things were never quite the same for the couple and, saddled with debts over the affair, they were evicted from their farmhouse months later.
They moved into a bungalow in Chester but their 14-year marriage ended after Judith met a man 13 years her junior in a nightclub.
Despite the split, she remained close to Alan and was at his bedside when he died aged 63 in January 2019.
At the time she told of her sadness that he had never fulfilled his dream of meeting the girls again.
She said: ‘He told me he had always regarded the twins as ours and his last wish was for me to go to America and try to make contact with them.
‘I don’t know if this will be possible but I will do everything I can to honour his dying request.’
Before the baby storm erupted, the couple had lived an anonymous, if somewhat eccentric, middle-class life in rural north Wales.
They already had two sons and Judith had two grown up children from her first marriage.
Alan and Judith Kilshaw are pictured with the twin babies
The couple brought the twins, who they renamed Belinda and Kimberley, to Britain hoping to start a new life as a family at their seven-bedroom farmhouse in Buckley, north Wales
Pictured: American couple Richard, 49, and Vickie Allen (right) from California
TV Grab from GMTV showing American couple Richard, 49, and Vickie Allen (right) from California, America, and Britons Alan, 45, and Judith Kilshaw, 47, from Buckley, north Wales (left) who are in dispute over the adoption of babies named Kimberley and Belinda by the Kilshaws
The twins who have now grown up are pictured in a social media post
The couple wanted to have a daughter together but Judith was too old to conceive.
They had spent £4,000 on unsuccessful IVF treatment and had looked into surrogacy before they turned to an online adoption agency in desperation.
The US-based agency called A Caring Heart was run by Tina Johnson who was acting on behalf of the mother of the mixed race twins, Tranda Wecker, who was aged 28 at the time.
Tranda, a hotel receptionist from Missouri, had fallen pregnant as her second marriage was coming to an end and had decided to part with her children.
Unbeknown to Judith and Alan, the broker had already arranged the adoption of the twins with Californian couple Richard and Vickie Allen.
They had paid £4,000 for the adoption and had cared for them for two months.
Tranda reportedly had a change of heart and, while the couple were in the process of finalising legal paperwork, she was given permission to say a final farewell to her daughters.
The American couple were told that Tranda wanted to spend two days with the twins – but instead they were handed to Judith and Alan.
Judith Kilshaw is seen on This Morning in February 2019
They set off with the twins to get their birth certificates before making a gruelling 1,500-mile car journey to Little Rock Arkansas, where adoption is relatively easy, with the Allens in hot pursuit.
After a five-minute hearing the couple return to Britain with the twins and their adoption papers.
But the FBI were called in to probe the case amid a bitter transatlantic war of words and a legal battle over the girls’ future.
The children were returned to the US in April 2001 where they were placed in foster care before a third set of parents eventually raised them.
Judith has always insisted she did nothing wrong or illegal and believed the adoption would be in the best interests of the twins.
But, in the aftermath of the affair, the couple racked up debts of £70,000.
They were forced to quit the farmhouse where they lived with three of Judith’s children along with six dogs, more than a dozen cats, two ferrets, a horse, a pony and two pot-bellied pigs.
In the wake of her fight, Judith tried to get elected as an MP in 2005 after standing as an independent candidate in her local Alyn and Deeside constituency insisting she wanted to ‘stand up for the little people’.
She split with Alan in 2006 and three years later she married Stephen Sillett, who was described at the time as a busker.
In the aftermath of the split, Judith was investigated for alleged benefits fraud arising from her living arrangements following the break-up.
In a bizarre twist, Alan gave his ex-wife away when she married Stephen at Wrexham Register Office in 2009.
She had a volatile relationship with her third husband and in 2012, Judith pleaded guilty at Wrexham Magistrates Court to assaulting Stephen after hitting over the head with a Christmas bauble following a row.
Stephen had accused Judith, who now goes by her married name Sillett, of having an affair, she says.
Judith told MailOnline: ‘It was hardly crime of the century. He probably deserved it.
‘However we stayed together. We are still legally married but have split up.
‘We’re still friends and speak all the time.’
Meanwhile Alan had been struck down with pulmonary fibrosis, a serious lung disease, which left him in hospital for months before his death.
Judith told how Stephen became jealous as she nursed her ex husband through his illness which led to her giving up her job as a cleaner in the Co-op.
She told MailOnline: ‘There were three of us in the relationship and men can’t really handle that can they?
‘I think he didn’t like the attention I was giving Alan.’
Of her life now she added: ‘I now live with my son. I don’t work as I have retired but I’m a bit of an agony aunt to all my friends.’
Speaking from his terraced home in a village near Wrexham, Stephen, now 58, said: ‘We’re still legally married but are not together anymore.
‘I don’t think we can afford to get divorced.’
Judith heard nothing more about the fate of the twins until 2018 when it was revealed they were starting university after being brought up by a loving churchgoing family in Missouri.
Alan, and Judith Kilshaw with Judith’s second husband Stephen Sillett right
Alan and Judith Kilshaw arrive at the High Court in London Monday April 9, 2001
Judith is seen on ITV’s This Morning
Their adoptive mother said at the time: ‘They have grown into fine young women, each with their own dreams and ambitions.’
Since then two TV documentaries have been made about the case – one called Three Mothers, two Babies and a Scandal, which was shown on Amazon Prime in 2022 while a second named The Baby Scandal That Shocked The World was screened on Channel 5 last year.
Judith told MailOnline: ‘The case and furore of it all, never really goes away.
‘In fact I was recognised by a woman in the supermarket the other day.
‘She kept on staring at me, trying to work out who I was. Then she spoke to me asking if I was the woman from the babies case.
‘She recognised me from being on telly a few years ago, but it was positive. She said I came across really well.’
Plaque to be ‘reminder of the pain of forced adoption’
Plaque to be ‘reminder of the pain of forced adoption’
Alex Green
BBC News, South West
Tamsin Melville
BBC Spotlight
- Published10 May 2025
Victims of forced adoption have gathered in Cornwall for a public event condemning the treatment of unmarried mothers in post-war Britain.
They unveiled a plaque at Rosemundy House in St Agnes – formerly a home for unmarried mothers – while calling for a formal “adoption apology” from the government.
Dr Phil Frampton, who was born at the Rosemundy Mother and Baby Home in 1953, said: “We want an apology, not only for the mothers but also for their children who suffered.”
Lyn Rodden, from Camborne, who was one of those forced to give up her baby, said: “It means everything that we’ve been recognised at last.”
‘Struggle for an apology’
It is estimated up to 250,000 women in Britain were forced to give up their babies in the decades after World War Two.
Campaigners also want “restorative actions” from the government, such as providing counselling and search support for mothers and those forcibly adopted.
Dr Frampton, a member of the Rosemundy Commemoration Committee, said he spent years in foster care after he was separated from his mother as a baby.
He said: “It’s really pleasing to be here today, it’s the start of a new chapter in the struggle for an apology for all those unmarried mothers who suffered in the post-war period.”
Mr Frampton said the day was “part of a day of healing, part of a day of recognising the grief of those mothers…”
He added: “This is not something that’s just in the past, for a lot of women they lived with this, you hear women today 80, 88 years old, who are still having to live with what happened, and the children live with it, and families live with it.”
Mr Frampton said it was “important” to be able to give the mothers, children, and families affected by forced adoptions “a sense of relief and release”.
Another plaque is due to be unveiled by the campaigners in Kendal, Cumbria, on 23 May.
‘Cried all the way home’
In September 1956, 19-year-old Lyn Rodden from Camborne, Cornwall, gave birth to her son at the Rosemundy home.
She said she was forced to get on a train and take her son to Bath to be adopted.
Ms Rodden said: “For everybody else the parents came here and took them away from here, but I had to get on a train and take my son up to Bath, and leave him in an office.
“A woman just came out and said ‘name’ and ‘I’ll take the baby’ and she took him into the back office, came out and said ‘hurry up’ she said, ‘catch your train’ she said, ‘and back to St Agnes, you’ll be there for another six weeks’.
“That was it. I cried all the way home…”
Ms Rodden said she was eventually reunited with her son 50 years later when he found her.
“[It was] like the final piece of a jigsaw being fitted,” she said.
She added: “To think that although slavery was abolished in the 1800s, a Dickensian way of life was gone, but not at Rosemundy.
“It was still in the past, and that was it really, and it means everything that we’ve been recognised at last…”
A Government spokesperson said: “This abhorrent practice should never have taken place, and our deepest sympathies are with all those affected.
“We take this issue extremely seriously and continue to engage with those impacted to provide support.”